Sexually inexperienced (and anxious) boyfriend, how do I turn him on ?

[sweetromance123]

I've been in relationship for the past 2 months with this guy. He's great, cute, funny, talented but ahem. We're both 23 and I'm only his third girlfriend, and the first one who thinks of going past the first stage with him. He just told me last week that he was totally inexperienced past the point of kissing. When we engaged in foreplay and more advanced stuff, he became so stressed that he lost twice his erection. Am I going too fast ? I reassured him that it didn't matter to me and that I liked him, never making a big deal out of it but it still kinda worry me. What should I do to make him stress less and enjoy more the feeling ? Also he's so inexperienced and stress that usually stop moving at a certain point, like he didn't know what to do with his own body, to the extent where I had to take his hands and put them on me to make him recall that I'm still there and in need of love. So I was wondering, I should teach him Love part by part, but how ? and at which speed ? If you were in my place, how would you teach love to someone inexperienced ? Which points would be the most important ? I must say that I'm quite experienced myself but being in front of a total virgin is a first. I don't know what to do. Thanks in advance !

[Afrodite101]

To be honest I'm the same age as you my man is 19 and we have been dating for only 3 months now. Well my man sounds more experenced with pleasuring me, but he to is a virgin. Before I knew it would get all steamy and I would want him to just do me, and I was wondering why he would never take it to the next level, he later told me the reason and I find myself more attacted to him. He loves to kiss and I put in all the kissing he needs to make him comfortable, instead of taking charge just really enjoy how well your gonna get to know this guy. I have now started to ask him if he has any fantasys and just try to get him to open up and get him more interested in sex. The thing is as we both know you have to be relaxed to fully enjoy sex. You have to be really slow with him for example I hug him with all my might and hold him in my arms for at least a min till I can feel him relax , I found myself getting sexually frusterated with my guy cause being not a virgin I know that were both miss out, but he has taught me a lot about myself and I know that once he's ready it will be amazing. I think were lucky girls to have men who are soo pure and sweet, I have really goten to know mine on a emotion level and I too had insecurites about my body and pleasing men and I have to say that I have come along way in this process because I know that he dosn't judge me for anything. For once its not just about sex and that feels good to me, it will all come in time. you take care

[ekspain]

I remember being a virgin, back in the day, and it wasn't pretty. With time comes experience.

He'll really have to take it upon himself to learn the art of lovemaking. The first key, though, is love, and the desire to enjoy and create enjoyment for the other person. I understand the stress he's going through because I've gone through it aswell. But when you're into the pleasure of touching your partner, and being intimate, things tend to work swimmingly.

I would just recommend that he A: be in the moment. B: look into ideas on lovemaking.

There's no shame in reading books on the subject. There's lots of great literature out there.

I recommend Jayia dvds/books, i.e. Red hot touch- Also Margot anand "sexual ecstasy."

etc.

In my experience, men really need to lead sex, and women take the receptive role. The energy flows from the man to the women. She accepts the energy and feeds it back to the man creating this cyclical exchange. But if a man can't lead, there's no exchange. no heat, no passion.

[Anonymous]

Just do foreplay. make out. grab his balls something!