Introducing sex into the relationship and how to go about it?

[Anonymous]

1) How long into the relationship did you start having sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend? If you've had more than one relationship where you had sex, was it also around this time in the relationship? If not, how soon? 2) What do you think is a good point in the relationship to sleep with each other Don't say "when it feels right". I'm asking for a time frame based on your past experiences. 3) What do you consider a long wait to start having sex in the relationship? 4) My friend thinks that 70% of the relationship is about sex. But I don't know, that seems kind of high to me. I've never had a relationship and sex together but to me the whole point is that you have good sex but it's about a lot more than just the sex. 5) If one of the parties is a virgin do you expect a longer wait for sex? 6) If you wanted to have sex but he or she didn't would you be okay with that? How long would you be okay not doing it for? Would you eventually leave? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Sex is an important aspect of any relationship when you are an adult. It just is. It's a natural step when you're with someone that you love and who loves you. It depends on your relationship and how you feel about things. There is unfortunately no one size fits all equation for stuff like this.

I usually try wait around 4 or 5 months, I've also only had 2 serious, commited relationships. I want to make sure that the guy is with me for me and not the sex. Of course I've had a few of those flings where you just frivilously had sex with someone you weren't in love with (like someone you were "casually dating") right away, but it wasn't nearly as satisfying as doing it with someone who you know cares about you. I prefer to have sex with someone that I can be completely honest with and who I know cares about my satisfaction.

I guess my bottom line is, you should wait until you feel comfortable enough with yourself and the guy to be competely honest. Just sayin.

[dudeman]

wait so you give it up to other guys fast, and make guys that like you wait. do you not see how retarded that is

[dudeman]

not only retarded but extremely disrespectful to those guys

[Asker]

well men sleep around too and if they are into the girl they focus on other things besides just trying to have sex right away but if it is just a fling the only goal is sex, she makes sense to me

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, honestly I did do that when I started college. It's not something I'm proud of and yes it is a little retarded but at least I have the balls to admit I'm not perfect.

[Opinion Owner]

When sex is your only goal, it usually doesn't matter whether you like the guy or not in a romantic sense--you just want it. Guys do the exact same thing. When I find someone I can seriously see myself with, I want to make sure that thier only goal is not just sex. Make sense?

[TheAnswerer]

A good point in the relationship to sleep with each other corresponds to the time after you start considering bringing that up, and thinking how you should go about doing that. Ironically, this is equivalent to saying "when it feels right", which I know you don't want to hear.

There isn't really a long wait for this. I mean, if I'm in a serious relationship, I wouldn't just pack up and leave just because she is a virgin and wants to wait. It's fine.

However, if we're not that committed, and are just "having fun", then I might consider more than a couple of months to be a long wait.

[Anonymous]

1. I like to have sex early in a relationship, but I'm willing to wait.

2. I think if you want the relationship to be serious make them wait at least 6 months

3. 3 months

4. When you're a teen it is. But when you want a long-term committed relationship, it's not. Not to say that sex isn't important, but it's not number 1.

5. Absolutely

6. I'd wait until they were ready if I really liked them

[Asker]

Yeah exactly. The idea that he thinks it's such a high percentage kind of shows me that he's immature and not in the same mindset as I am, that he prioritizes sex over anything else, that's good for flings not serious relationship. I mean, neither of us are teenagers. Nor is he anyone I want to date. I just was a bit surprised that someone in his late 20s still thinks a relationship is primarily about sex.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, sex is really important. But it shouldn't be #1, especially at his age!

[kheserthorpe]

You can't rank things in importance or give them percentages. If your partner is a meth addict, not being a meth addict is like 90% of the relationship. If you are your married and your partner spends 10k a month on credit cards, being financially responsible is 90% of the relationship, and if your sex life vanishes, sex is 90% of the relationship. When things are good, everything seems good and in harmony. Sex is certainly a 'big' enough thing to dominate the relationship if its an issue.

[Asker]

If it is a problem yes but he was basically telling me that the most important thing in a relationship is sex (if I relayed the entire discussion in context). I do think it is very important and if there are problems the sex also suffers, and if there are problems with the sex the relationship suffers. But, it is about having a deeper connection, not just a sexual one.

[jeremypruitt1980]

Well I'd be patient and would respect the fact of her not wanting to at that time. sex isn't what makes a. relationship it is the two individuals who make the relationship. sex is one. of the ways that. couples who love each other want to express their love for. one another