Sexual Health
+1 y

I think I was raped?

So last night I went on a double date with a friend of mine. It was her first time meeting the guy she was with, but I've known my date for over 3 months now. Basically he got on top of me and started kissing me and after repeatedly asking him to stop he started trying to pull down my pants, and did this so forcefully that he actually ripped the zipper off my jeans. Keep in mind that my friend was still in the room, so I called out for help multiple times and she finally got up and came over to us and asked me for my keys then took her date and left the room (I later found out that she slept with her date and took my keys to be able to get back into my dorm room). So basically the next hour was me trying to push him off of me and crying and screaming and he fingered me without my permission (he was drunk, I wasn't), and the only reason he stopped was because my friend and her date came back and because I told him that I am a virgin, which I actually am. This morning when I woke up I found that I am covered in bruises and cuts, on my legs, arms, stomach, and neck (he choked me at one point when I was calling for help). And today he texted me saying " waassup drunk girl ;) miss me?". I didn't respond. Now I know that there is something wrong with that, and I don't plan on hanging out with him anymore, but my question is, should Ii report this? Does it actually count as rape if his penis didn't enter me? Or just sexual harassment? And what should I do about my friend? I mean she just left me, and I know she heard me calling for help...
Updates:
+1 y
so after seeing some of your comments I decided to talk to my friend about it (she's in the room right now), and all she had to say was, " oh...well maybe we need a code word, how about pineapple?" shouldn't me screming for help be code enough? honestly I think I might press charges. if anything maybe it'll stop him from doing the same thing to other girls.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't know the specifics, and most of the other people have got down what you should do better than I could possibly explain it, but

    Get away from him.

    He doesn't respect you one effing bit AND YOU DON'T FREAKING DESERVE THAT. Report him. If you're not doing it for you, do it for the next girl because if you let him go this time, he'll know that he can do AT LEAST this much and get off scot-free, so the next time around, be it with you or someone else he's going to freaking rape someone. Oh, and don't get me start on him starting to choke you. What if he kills someone? Maybe I'm getting over the top but this guy would be DEAD if you were a friend of mine. If he had the NERVE to text you like what he did was alright then there's obviously something wrong with him-

    and I'm a pretty good judge of that kind of thing... one of my classmates stabbed and shot someone to death last week and is in jail right now.. sorry. I guess I didn't have to include that- but...it's part of the reason why I'm so mad at this guy...

    You said you know him well in one of the comments before, but...

    I'd double check yourself hun. If I had a friend who tried to rape me and a friend who let me get raped..

    there's no excuse. They should know better. If your friend does this to you when you're her "friend" then...

    she put having sex with a guy she'd never met before as more of a priority than her friend getting raped.

    I could go on and on about this...

    One last thing hun.

    If you're letting the guy off just because he was drunk and not knowing what he was doing-don't. Being drunk is not an excuse for anything.

    I'm sorry for ranting, but please, please, don't treat this like it's no big deal...it concerns way more people than just you...it's just that you're the person most capable of doing something about it.

    • Your comment was the one that hit home enough for me to actually say something, thank you for the rant lol, I obviously needed it

    • I'm honored to have helped :)

  • He ABSOLUTELY sexually assaulted you. What he did was illegal and morally wrong. I cannot stress enough that he was in the wrong and you were an innocent victim. When you feel up to it, I would encourage you to report to the police and to speak to a guidance counselor or therapist. It doesn't matter if there was actual intercourse-- he did things that you were uncomfortable with, while you clearly said no, and he hurt you as well. I encourage you to report this soon because with the cuts and bruisies you have, there will be better proof if there's a trial.

    Once again, what happened WAS rape/sexual assault, and your "friend" was wrong to not have helped you. I don't know the specific of the situation-- how drunk she may have been, etc.-- but her reluctance to help after you called for help repeatedly, and the fact that she actually may have played a role in the rape, by taking your keys, speaks wonders about your so-called "friendship." Find a real friend that you can talk to about this, as well as an authority figure to report the assault too.

    • I took pictures of my injuries just incase I decide to press charges but I don't know, it's hard because I know him so well

  • 1) Drop that friend and never talk to her again that's not a friend who will stand by and be OK with her friend being abused by some douch that she barely even knows.

    2) I don't know if you can report that as rape as I'm not sure what the basis is..but one things for certain report it don't make the mistake of not. I don't care how drunk he was what he did to you was horrible and sick and you shoudn't have to sit by and do nothing.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Press charges ASAP. you need to have to police involved as soon as you can because unfortunatley cops don't give as much credibiltiy to victims that wait to report it. legally, since there was penetration, either fingers or penis, it is rape, in most states. Report it to the police and tell any other girls you know that assosciate with this guy so that they can try to keep themselves safe from this monster. Also, beat the sh*t out of your friend who just let this happen. What a horrible person. I'm disheartened that our society is to a point where someone can be getting raped and people will ask them for things that they need for themselves but will do nothing to help. Seriously, asking someone who is currently being sexually asulted/raped for your keys so she wouldn't be locked out after she has sex with a stranger. That is one of the lowest things I have ever heard

  • A) Don't hang around low life scum like this.

    B) Get you best mate to support you.

    C) Call the police and report it, don't be indecisive for a millisecond. If you start going in circles unsure if you want to send him to jail or not you might as well not even bother and it will just p*ss of the cops.

    D) If knew you and I was your friend I would have castrated the f***er right then and there. You are better of never speaking to that slut bitch friend of yours.

    • D) made me smile

    • I have a lot of hate towards men who abuse women. Actually a lot is an understatement, it is just I have seen my mom get abused verbally and even physically before so I can't stand it when I see any man imposing himself by force or verbally on a woman.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Drunk is no excuse. I've been drunk, I never crawled on top of some screaming girl, ripped her pants off, and fingered her. If you are covered in cuts and bruises and have two witnesses, you could go to the cops. This woman is not your friend, and her boyfriend is a little bitch.

  • Dude, I'd press charges. Sorry, but that's not okay.. Or at least a restraining order. =/ seriously, I'm getting one 'cause.. I text my friend and hang out with her at church. -_- (her mom's... special..) but yeah, I'd hate knowing someone did that and got away with it...

  • It's not rape because he didn't penetrate you, but it is still sexual assault, so yes, it's best if you report it so he can't do it to another girl.

    Sorry you had to experience that, by the way.

    • @update: Your friend is an idiot. I wouldn't ever speak to her again if I were you.

  • If penetration occurred, even though it wasn't with his penis, then the answer to your question is yes. It IS. Your friend isn't much of a friend unless she directly asked you if the two of you were just playing or if you seriously wanted help. I would say DO report it to let him know you were totally serious when you said no.

    I'm sorry you had to go through that.

  • That's Sexual assault and uhhm, Yeaaa about your friend :s was she drunk? legit .. you should talk to her about that..

    • no she wasn't... just the guys were

    • ohh :s well then, You should definitely call the cops though.

  • i am so sorry. she sucks as a friend and you need a different roommate an yes report it! hope you still have the marks to prove it. get off the computer now and go file!

  • I don't think it was rape because he did not put his penis in you, but it is not sexual harassment. It is sexual assault which is almost as serious legally as rape. Report it now! And your girl friend is NO friend. You made it very obvious what was happening and she blew it off then and blew it off when you talked to her about it. Dump them both.

  • You should definitely tell someone, he should have stopped the first time you said no and asked for your permission in the first place. Even if he is drunk it is still his fault and he should not have done what he did. You also need to sit down with your friend and talk to her about it because if alls she cared about was hooking up with that guy and didn't bother to help you in a time of need she is not a true friend. You need to make sure that guy is aware of what he did and tell someone so another girl doesn't have to go through with it. Talking about it with anyone will help you feel better especially in the long run. And don't get discouraged if you tell someone and they don't believe you, just keep trying until someone is willing to listen and believes you. Its worth it.

  • Report the sexual assault to the cops immediately and dump your sh!tty "friend."

    • @update: Speaking as the son of a rape victim, yes, please press charges against the bastard! And yes, screaming for help should've been more than enough. Tear her a f*cking new one for that BS of a response.

  • the same thing happen to me a couple of months ago. and I didn't know if that was rape till now apparently it is.he told me the next day he didn't remember anything and I didn't make a big deal or anything. I didn't think it was serious till now. did you report it?

    • I'm so sorry that happened to you, and yes I did report it, actually since I did 4 other girls came forward against him too. He's been expelled from my college and the girl who was with me at the time is no longer my friend and has been kicked out of the dorms. I know it may be hard but I think you should really tell someone, it doesn't matter what state of mind the guy was in, he's still responsible for his actions. I hope everything turns outs well for you.

  • report it, and your friend was an accessory.

    • this.

    • PINEAPPLE? what.. the.. f***.

    • she wasn't accessory she was just not doing anything.

    • Show All

  • Defiantly press charges, that's sexual assult, and by the way your friend sucks, good luck girl and I hope everything works out

  • thats definitely sexual assault seeing how you told him to stop and tried to push him off

  • Rape is someone forcing someone else to do sexual acts without their consent. You obviously did not consent I believe you should report this. If you don't you may regret it later.

  • I'd say drop that bitch, She pretty much did leave you to get raped.

    • riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

  • You should definitely report that, it's still assault. Find some new friends while you're at it.

  • Its rape, because its unwanted sexual contact, and it was violent, and it seemed like he doesn't care that he did it to you.

  • Report him! That is a horrible thing! Such invasion of the body. He needs to be reported so he doesn't do this to other girls. You can call your local police department and report him. It is a big thing to do, but it is something that needs to be done. You can't let this pig get away with it! And for that girl, she's no friend, she's a dumb ass! She obviously doesn't care about you. I wouldn't talk to her about it, I would go straight to the police. Good luck :)

    I'm so sorry you had to experience such an awful thing.

  • It's sexual harassment. Call the cops. That is abusive and terrible. It is not rape though. Rape is penetration of the penis into the vagina, sexual intercourse. Your friend is a bitch and this guy is terrible. Call the cops!

    • To update. Press charges! Stand up for yourself, I admire that! MAny girls get sexually assaulted or raped or abused and let the bastard get away with it, I cna see why sometimes it is hard to press charges but I give you major credit. And your friend is a bitch. Ditch her now!

  • yeah. this is messed up.

    first of all its sexual assault.

    second of all- you may want to rethink your choice of friends...

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