Don't know when is the right time to have sex!!

[Anonymous]

Hello! So yesterday I posted a question asking if a guy will wait until marriage to have sex if the person he loves tells them to wait, as I was thinking on waiting until marriage to have sex. Weeelll... now I am sooo confused! I would really LOVE to wait until I am married, on the other hand, as I was reading the answers some guys posted on my question, it made me think more about it. I also told my boyfriend's sister for the very first time and got 0 support from her, and said "grow up and stop thinking like a little girl" NEVER thought she would say that to me. Now I don't even know if anyone would ever want to marry me, knowing that there would be no sex before. Sometimes I feel pressured to do it. I mean, I just don't know anymore. Should I do it before with my boyfriend, but how do I know he deserves it? I am sooooooooo F****n confused! When is the right time? who is the right person?! I am 22 my boyfriend is 24 and we've known each other for 4 years. We were together for 19 months before until we broke up because he was trying to look for sex elsewhere because I wasn't ready, though he claims he didn't cheat on me. Broken up for over a year and a half, gave him a second chance because he said he regret everything bad he did to me and he has realized he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. When I told him I wanted to wait until marriage, he said he wouldn't wait :( Help! I don't know when to have sex...

[Screamo-Lu]

Don't let ANYONE tell you that your views on sex are stupid or immature. If you truly want to wait until marriage, do it. People who disagree with your views are going to try and convince you to do otherwise, especially if they want to get into your pants, but it's your choice, not theirs. It's your body, not theirs.

On the other hand, if your boyfriend doesn't agree, you can't really hold him to the same standard. I know a lot of people say "if he loves you, he'll wait". That's bullsh*t. It is my experience that most men have little patience with a girl who doesn't put out. If your boyfriend refuses to marry you (even though he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you) and won't wait for sex, you might have to decide what's more important to you--him, or your decision to wait. But remember that it is up to you.

[Asker]

I'm just so confused, I don't like this, I don't know what do do :( He just sent me a message saying why are you scared to marry me. He says that he will marry me but won't wait to have sex before. I'm so confused I wish I wasn't going through this :'( Every morning I wake up thinking about it and I just don't know anymore, its the worst feeling ever !

[Screamo-Lu]

Have you expressed to him that you're afraid to marry him?

[MrWizard]

I guess you have to decide if your morals are worth more than this specific relationship. His reaction seems to show that he values his desires more than you.

As I said yesterday, we waited and it was worth it for us, but we both wanted to wait. If really does want to spend the rest of his life with you, why not set a date that he can look forward to? Once my now wife and I knew we were committed to each other, we were married less than a year later. Don't make the waiting any harder than you have to.

There are plenty of men who also want to wait. If this isn't the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with, be ready to move on.

[BCRanger10]

I believe in waiting for marriage. You have strong morals, but he doesn't seem to respect that. Or you for that matter. You have to decide which is more important: your moral system or a relationship with someone who doesn't respect that. Call that loaded or black-and-white or whatever, but that's how I see this. You should think ahead on this too. Something else you should consider is how you want your children to be raised. Would you want to teach them to wait for marriage as well and then have dad telling them it's not a big deal? These are things you need to take into account.

[drummerdude25]

Well, after marriage is always the right time...

[M_A_X]

If he waited for 19 months, that's a lot longer than anyone I've ever met would wait... that's over a year and a half. He OBVIOUSLY likes spending time with you, and really does love you.

There's nothing wrong with sex before marriage. The way I see it, thinking about waiting on sex like that is really naive and immature, and it will cost you many, many relationships. If two people spend as much time together as you have, it's natural to want to have sex.

You can wait until after marriage if you want, but you'll be really hard pressed to find a man that will wait like that... and it's definitely not going to be this guy, because he wants to have sex... which, as I said before, is natural.

[dzj031682195]

it is hard to look for such guy