Sexual Health
+1 y

Girls what do you tell your guy in this situation?

Or guys what would you say? Every time my boyfriend goes down on me or plays with my clit it hurts. He's not sensitive enough. Like when he licks my clit it feels good but when he sucks on it it hurts. He uses his teeth I do believe. I tried to tell him it's sensitive down there. And it kinda turns me off, immediately. I don't tell him its a turn off I just tell him to slow down because it doesn't feel good. And I try to show him what I'd like but he won't let me. And he says he doesn't care if it hurts because he likes it. I know no one likes to hear there not doing good. So how do I tell him? I love having my clit played with. It's probably my favorite thing during four play but he's to rough. I've even masturbated in front of him and told to do it the way I did but nothing. Can someone give me some advice on how to tell him? I'd really really appreciate it!
Updates:
+1 y
Thanks guys and girls! He's coming over today.. So let's see what I can do(; Let you know what happens(:
+1 y
Thanks guys! It went much much better. Can't wait till next time :)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • If you told him that it hurts you and he said that he's going to keep doing it because he likes it, I don't know why you would stay. The only reason why I would say something like that, is if I wanted to break up with a girl without doing it myself. I wouldn't do that, but I would just expect for the girl to have her feelings hurt and break up with me if I said something like that to her. Doesn't that make sense? He told you that he doesn't care if he ruins your sexual experience. And it's not like it was even penetration we're talking about, where you're both getting something from it. He down there to make you feel good. If he's not making you feel good, what's the point? You tried to education him, and he didn't care.

    Maybe if you work really hard you can fix him. But it will just be one thing after the other. I can't imagine having a girlfriend and caring about her this little. It's weird. Why would he just not go down? If he's not going to do it in a way you like, why wouldn't he just stick it in and get it done so that you can get some sleep. I could understand that. I wouldn't agree with it, but I could understand it. BUt I can't understand going down on doing a bad job on purpose.

    You sound really cool. Most girls are too chicken to tell men what they want. They're either chicken, or they think that it's less sexy if they tell us about themselves. I don't know which. In any case you sound cool. I bet you could do better.

    You know you see little things like this. They're red flags. You might be able to fix this. You might be able to get him to go down the right way, but he's supposed to want to go down the right way. This is a manifestation of something that is wrong with him. I know nobody's perfect, and who knows what your problems are, but this guy has said that he doesn't care about. The only way jerks are going to grow as men is if you ladies will stop putting up with their crap.

    • My grammar was terrible last night. I was drunk. Please excuse me. I can't believe I said,"Education him." That's embarrassing.

    • Lol. It's okay I promise. I got what you meant(:

  • Honestly, to date, you've done everything right except one thing: you literally need to stop having sex with him until he realizes how serious you are about this. Most girls are too afraid to say anything, or show him what to do, but you've done those things (props for that!). But he's too stupid to listen or care, which should make him too stupid to be allowed to have sex with you. If he decides to engage his brain and pay attention, then maybe he will earn his way back into your good graces and into your bed. But until he does, sex should be off-limits.

    I say this to girls all the time: if your guy is terrible in bed or otherwise not doing something right, then your job is to correct him if you can, and if not, STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM! To do otherwise is to reward his poor performance and to justify him not making an effort to change, and you know who the big loser is in that scenario? YOU! And not just you, but the girls after you as well.

    This isn't your fault in any way, but unfortunately, it's up to you to set the boundries and requirements, and to enforce the law. Please do so. He'll only lose if he is too stupid to change, and you'll win one way or the other.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I would go with something like, "oh yeah, Mmm...softer, oh yes, slower...mmmmm..." Point him in the right direction and then praise him if he gets it right. If he doesn't take the hint maybe you should bring it up. Tell him that spot is very sensitive and it feels so much better for you if he uses his finger or tongue like he is using a feather to tickle you. Very gentle. Don't say it like, "you are doing this wrong," say it in a way that sounds more like, "I love it when you do it like this."

    Also, if he says he doesn't care if it hurts because he likes it he may be a bit kinky. Some men just get turned on knowing you will let them do something that isn't great for you to turn them on. It's a bit of a power play.

  • honestly.. you gotta tell him straight up just not as harsh.

    just be like babe I love the roughness but you gotta take it a little easier... if you do I may even do something special ;)

    or just ask him sometime if there is something that he doesn't like that you do.. make it an equal opportunity type thing

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 4

  • I would say...before the clothes come off...take his hand...talk to him softly...tell him how you feel about him and then tell him he's hurting you down there because he's too rough...then proceed to show him by licking his finger as though it were your clit. If he doesn't get it then, he ain't gonna Sweetie. And if he "doesn't care" ? Bail. You need another guy. That says that he's not concerned with your needs.

    • I saw your update. I'm looking forward to hearing what happens. Good luck Hon.

    • OKAAAAY so it went much BETTER ! That's great...How'd ya tell him, what'd ya say? How did he respond? Huh, huh, huh? I'm on pins & needles here! (LOL) Details, details !

    • When it felt good I let him know. And when it didn't I didn't do anything. So I guess he thought "hmmm, she likes that better, I'll keep doing that." Haha. At the end I rewarded him of course(; Can't wait till next time!

    • Show All

  • Tell him that if he doesn't want to listen, fine, you'll find someone who doesn't want to hurt you in bed.

  • I do not have a clue:/

  • "he doesn't care if it hurts because he likes it"

    Sounds like he's way too selfish in bed. If he doesn't care about how sex feels for you then you need to dump his ass now.

  • I hate to tell you this but it sounds like your guy does not understand you and will not ever because he sucks at communicating which is either a result of him not caring or him being kind of dumb. In my opinion the only way you're going to get a guy that will happily meet your legitimate sex needs is to find another guy. Good luck :)

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