Do guys mean their compliments during sex?

[Anonymous]

Background: my only prior sexual experience had been with my ex. We were together for 5 years, so we got to a point in which we had awesome sex because we knew each others' likes and dislikes and everything. I knew him pretty well, sexually, and he always complimented me, and I knew he meant it. Then we broke up. Recently I had sex with another guy (he's just a friend, please don't judge me). And it was great, for me at least. He was quite talkative during sex, though, which is not something I'm particularly used to, and during sex, he asked me if I liked it. I said yeah, and I thought about asking him too, so I did. He said something like "Yes, I love it, I love it, as a matter of fact whenever you want to have sex again, tell me, I don't care what day it is, I really love this". But it was said in the heat of the moment, so maybe he could have just said it? I feel a bit "inexperienced" because while I was with my ex for 5 years, I only know what my ex likes, and I know all guys are different so maybe my ex thought sex with me was great, but maybe this guy was just saying that not to make me feel bad? (and also because sex is sex, and OK sex is better than no sex, right? especially no strings attached sex) I also say this because while he was able to finish during intercourse, I could not make him finish with a BJ. My ex always finished when I gave him BJs. But this guy didn't, so maybe I sucked at that? I don't know... anyway, do you think he meant what he said? That he loved it?

[MrOracle]

You are judging yourself WAY too hard here.

Lots of guys don't finish from BJs. For a long time, I didn't/couldn't myself. That didn't mean I didn't really enjoy them; the problem was ME being completely comfortable with them, because in the beginning, it didn't happen super often, and I didn't push very hard because I was more concerned with pleasing her. But I never felt like I was being cheated or that sex was bad or anything like that because of it. I knew it was MY issue, not HER issue.

I mean, let's be real: he was getting to have sex with you. Sex is kind of the ultimate, like riding the biggest roller coaster in the amusement park. When it's good, it's GREAT, and when it's bad, it's still pretty good. I'm sure he meant every word he said. Plus, sex is always exciting when you have a new partner, and a new body to explore and admire, and new things to try and new reactions to enjoy. What's not to like?

I'm not saying everything every guy has ever said during sex was true, but this guy had zero reason to lie: you were already willingly having sex with him!

Guys really don't judge girls very harshly on "skill" or "technique"; enthusiasm and fun are FAR more important, and it sounded like he got those things from you in abundance, so he was good to go.

Don't be so harsh a critic on yourself, and don't overanalyze what guys say so much. The vast majority of the time, guys say what they think and mean what they say (for good or bad). We don't get a lot of practice with subtlety or subtext, so it doesn't come naturally for most of us. We prefer our communication simple, straightforward, and honest.

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

He might have, but those comments sound very immature and over the top from him. I personally don't mind a few words getting thrown out during sex, but I do not make an effort to talk unless some even occurs during the moment. My longest conversation during sex was

Me: "Are you on birth control?"

Girl: "No"

Me: "phew"

Also the whole bj thing. I had a girl that I really enjoyed spending time with, but for the life of me I couldn't get an orgasm during a bj from her. On one occasion she got obviously frustrated that I couldn't finish and she left visible damage upon my penis from her teeth. Girls that use their teeth during a bj obviously do not realize what kind of ill advised stunt they are pulling.

Anyways, the whole bj thing, I wouldn't get flustered after one bj with him. After 2 and he still struggles you might want to move on to using hands or just simply talking the whole thing over with him.

[WoodWizzard87]

Genuinely yes, if he's complimenting you, he likes what he sees and trying to get you hotter/closer to cumming. If he's too talkative, then it could be a turnoff. Usually If I ask my girl something once and she likes it, I'll keep doing it or variations. A guy that's half good at sex shouldn't have to talk because he can read your body language and breathing.

[Anonymous5124]

Perhaps you should be less easy and wait for someone special to come into your life to have intercourse? It's already to late for your virginity. If only you could have saved yourself for your husband...

[Asker]

lol

[Anonymous5124]

Laugh now. It really is a shame and when your older you will regret it. I can guarantee you that.

[Asker]

I won't regret it. Whatever, you troll.

[Anonymous5124]

Troll? Not sure what gave you that impression. It's clear we were brought up differently. (Values/beliefs etc.) Doesn't make me a troll lol. I just couldn't date a girl like you. We are CLEARLY different.

[Asker]

To troll: to post an inflammatory or otherwise provoking message online. I don't see what the point was to judge me over what I do, if you have nothing helpful to post, then don't. I wouldn't want to date a guy like you either. I think guys who watch p*rn objectify and use women, doesn't mean I'll judge them, and doesn't mean I won't date one just because of that. Everyone's entitled to their own values, no need to put them down if they differ from us. Cheers.

[Anonymous5124]

I was hoping my post would be helpful. Apparently the message went in one ear and out the other for you. Oh well. I tried.

[Asker]

Well, I'm not a virgin anymore, so clearly I'm "lost" already and "can't be saved". So why should you care? I'm yet another lustful black sheep who couldn't wait 'til marriage. Oh, but I don't believe in marriage as more than a mere contract... I'm an atheist. I guess that makes me evil?

[Anonymous5124]

I never said that. Again this comes down to our extreme differences in religious beliefs (I am catholic) and I value marriage more than you. Also, just because you are an atheist now doesn't mean you won't find faith later in life.

[Asker]

Well I went to a catholic school my whole life, and I realized just how hypocritical catholics (especially priests) can be. Catholic school saturated me with religion, and then I stopped believing. But that's just me.

[JennieF]

Sometimes.