My boyfriend gave me chlamydia...

[Anonymous]

I guess this is more-so asking for just reassurance than advice since the only advice to really give is "take your medicine". Anyway, I've been having issues with yeast infections and crap for months, I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 months. I was going to the doctor's and stuff and getting pelvic exams, all STD tests would come back negative, so I know I didn't go into the relationship with anything. He and I ALWAYSSSS used condoms before my last test. Then after that time when everything was cleared up there was one time that we didn't use a condom because my period had just ended the day before so it's not like I was fertile yet, plus he pulled out. (and I'm on BC) Anyway... I had more issues later on in that area. I was convinced that I'm allergic to latex so I went to the gyno, he agreed with that and said everything looked okay since I haven't had sex in over a week and it's probably just an allergy. A week later, today, I get a call from the office with "bad news", that I've contracted chlamydia. I was literally in shock. Like I don't even know what to think. I called my boyfriend to tell him and talk to him, I never had any concern that he could possibly be cheating on me, I literally have seen him almost every single day for the past 3 months. No exaggeration. Even if he wanted to cheat he would have to be a wizard to find the time. Besides, he's not even the player type, at 22 years old he's only been with 4 women- and used a condom every single time which confuses the hell out of me. I was calm about it at first trying not to play the blame game then I sort of lost it... I couldn't keep my cool anymore and I started crying and telling him he did this to me and I couldn't believe he could let this happen. I even asked if he was clean before we started having sex, he said yes. He's a hemophiliac so they test his blood every 6 months for all kinds of crap and being f***ing retarded he thought that was a full STD panel and didn't realize there was a swab test. How do you not know that? I know it's not his fault, I know he didn't cheat, but at the same time I feel like so disgusting and so angry... how am I supposed to get past this? I really do love him and I don't want to lose him over this.

[Anonymous]

Chlamydia is one of the most common STDs, and 1 in 4 men with chlamydia do not have symptoms.

Yes, he was irresponsible/ignorant for not getting proper STD testing.

But if you know it's not his fault and that he didn't cheat, then I think you just need to take a deep breath, take your medication, and move past this. I know it seems devastating, but Chlamydia is treatable and you caught it early. That's a good thing. Use this as a learning experience.

[Asker]

That's the thing though, like what the f*** am I learning from this? If I was sleeping around and having one night stands and got an STD, yeah, you live and learn to protect yourself in the future. I was in a monogamous relationship with a trustworthy man. There is nothing else in the world I could have done to protect myself aside from holding him down and testing him. I asked, I used condoms for a long time until we had mutual trust, like what the hell did I learn?

[Opinion Owner]

Well, perhaps if you're ever with a new partner, the two of you could go and get tested together, or you could ask more specifically what he was tested for/how he was tested?

[Asker]

Yeah true. I'm sorry if I sounded snappy I'm just like... beside myself. I'm scared that I won't get over this and I really do love him.

[Opinion Owner]

It's okay, I can understand how devastating this probably feels, especially considering that you did everything right. Though, I'm relieved for you that it isn't something more serious. My long-term boyfriend got molluscum contagiosum on his genitals a few years into our relationship (it's a virus that isn't just contracted through sexual contact, but can be). He didn't cheat (we lived together at the time and spent all of our time at home together except when we were at work), so he likely

[Opinion Owner]

picked it up by touching something that had the virus (he works at a hospital) and then touching his genitals when he peed or something). I didn't contract it and he was treated for it (it's curable). I know this situation isn't exactly the same, but I can tell you that my boyfriend was very emotional about it and very angry because he couldn't understand how he got it. He felt disgusting because of it and took it very hard. It certainly isn't a nice thing to have happen to you, and I think it's

[Opinion Owner]

even harder because of the stigma that society attaches to STDs. I know it's difficult right now and it sucks a lot, but you will get through this.

[Asker]

Thing is, I think the thing that was probably the hardest for him was that there was really no one and nothing for him to blame. He couldn't blame himself for sleeping with random girls and being stupid, he couldn't blame you for cheating on him or something, but in my case the issue is that I want to blame him completely. I want to scream at him that this is all his fault and that he did this to me. I know that I shouldn't be but I'm angry at HIM not just the situation.

[Opinion Owner]

This just happened, right? It's completely normal to have a strong emotional response. Give yourself some time to cool off. You'll be in a better position to sort through your thoughts and feelings when you're calmer and more removed from the situation (in the sense of time). In terms of your relationship, let your boyfriend know that you love him, but you're very emotional about this right now and you need some time (and maybe space?) to cool off and get your head straight about all of this.

[Opinion Owner]

If you want to continue your relationship, it might be good to take some time and space to prevent yourself from saying things to him that you don't mean out of anger.

[Asker]

Yeah you know what realllllly sucks? I haven't seen him in two weeks because I've been home for Christmas break and he's flying in in a few hours to meet my entire family. Great timing right?

[Opinion Owner]

Ugh, that does suck. :/

[Anonymous]

If you catch it early, which it sounds like you did, you can treat chlamydia..

My best mate got the all clear from it just last week (:

Yes, your boyfriend was an idiot. But if he geuninely didn't know you can't blame him.. These things happen. Learn from it and move on.

And make sure he gets treated for it too.

[Anonymous]

He could have had it the entire time and not known. Just because he didn't have any symptoms doesn't mean he cheated and only picked it up recently.

[Fooled2manytimes]

Not true, tho most men don't have symptoms, the female will more often than not have a start of issues within 5 to 14 days from the date of exposure. According to the CDC anyways

[dnately]

If you know he didn't cheat, then catching Chlamydia (which you can also get through a condom) is unfortunate, but it happens.

If you trust him, then maybe you need to let go of this. You see, there is always a risk of catching something when you are in close contact with someone. When you kiss your boyfriend, you can also catch the flu from him. Would you be upset if he gave you the flu without meaning to?

[Asker]

It's just like... I mean it's NOT the flu is the thing. How would you feel if you got a random call out of the blue saying oh he guys what? You have a sexually transmitted disease. Welcome to the statistic.

[dnately]

I obviously understand how you feel. It sucks to learn that you have an STD. I'm just saying that there is no reason to inflate this to more than what it is: Chlamydia is not dangerous when treated. It will normally go away in a short period of time by taking antibiotics (for no longer than a week). So all I'm saying is that if you trust that your boyfriend isn't cheating on you, and did not know that he had it, I think it's just one of those things that happen.

[neohiobiker]

How did he not know? I didn't know You see guys DON't go to the doctor like women do we go when we're hurt or have to go get a test (HAVE TO) YOU go what 6 times or more a year? And you as a women need to get your plumbing check multiple times a year GUYS NEVER DO.

How the hell would he know. How to get over it is to Grow Up and say over and over again Shit Happens and calling him a retard doesn't help.

[Asker]

Getting checked for STDs is not an abnormal thing for a man to do. If you're sexually active, you get tested. End of story. Especially if you plan on being intimate with someone you love.

[WoIIie]

Sex is not for everyone? Ugh, that just made it worse...

[Asker]

What?

[Soulbeads]

Guru is it? The gentleman who responded genetically with a grain of salt attitude? "Meh, least it's curable!.. you don't know for sure (this is where you bring up the stats am I right, the 1 in 4 or most men don't show symptoms, it's very common (so is that foot you're jamming in your mouth pal) week worth of meds you're all good! Move on!" Buddy you're a fucking Moron and know fuck all about women lmao... although what you do know is how to mindfuck them, manipulate them when things get a tad uncomfortable for you... that's blatantly obvious.. I have a strong feeling your Daddy owns this... GirlsaskGuys... your idea? And he fronted the money? Lol.. ya I'm making fun of you cause you're an ass. Should of listened, heard and perhaps showed an empathetic ear upon responding to and not just when she got emotional and you felt it was about you...
To the young lady, both of you should go back after 2 weeks of treatment and get tested again that is how you stop the spread, refrain from sexual contact till you get the full STD screening. It's likely no one cheated. It was brought into the relationship.. if she let it go for longer than 2-3 weeks after initial contract she would know it, he on the other had may have had slight uncomfortable urination perhaps even a discharge. Worse case a rash. Depends on your system, diet, meds you're on also believe it or not ethnicity if/how/when symptoms will appear.. that include alcohol intake, auto immune deficiencies, CNS disorders, even type of lubes, creams, toys, fabrics you wear and use. Coconut oil for one has been prove so evidence based to kill bacterial growth caused by yeast infections but only a will also help prevent bacterial/vital infections not against STDs... many benefits. Know your shit Guru.. this lady walked her path and my view which is just as much shit as yours nonetheless she owned her shit and took responsibility... so don't make light of a situation like an STD that some nasty dirty girl gave some guy and didn't tell him... not to say her wasn't gullible, oh yes he was.. needs a lesson in how to clarify to understand.. yes... but I believe her.. and lady I'm sorry but you reached out that's shows courage, you worked through your struggle that shows resilience, and saw the glass as not a metaphor but yet... you drank it and found a solution you deserved... Bravo!