I don't want to dump him over oral sex?

[Anonymous]

We've been together 3 years and I love him so much. He is very sweet to me..I have OCD and it's been very bad at times and he is always there even when most guys would probably run. The only area where I'm disappointed is that sexually he can be a little selfish but often seems unaware of it. Maybe because when we met, he had only had high-school experience (we met in college) and those girls tended to give without getting, and didn't mind. (I was like that as a teenager, too) Anyway he's told me he'll work on being a little more generous in bed. He DOES give me oral sex and he tells me he likes it but I can tell he's not OBSESSED with it and would prefer to be lazy, and he gets more than I do. I don't need oral to orgasm, so it's not a huge deal, but I want him to be a little less selfish and so far he's doing better and making an effort. But asking people on the internet about this has made it hard- everyone is telling me to dump him over this. We're in love and have been together YEARS and live together! This seems like a SMALL issue to me, not a big one. I still enjoy our sex, even without all the oral, I'd just prefer more. I'm in tears now because I feel like I "have" to leave him, but I love him so much, and I know he loves me, and he treats me very well aside from this one issue. It just seems like everyone is so wildly obsessed with sex that it becomes the #1 important thing. Suddenly I'm not happy after asking people online, and I was 95% happy before! I just don't know how to feel better.

[l-hedoniste]

"But asking people on the internet about this has made it hard"

Then stop.

ALL that matters, is whether you and he can be happy in the relationship. If you think you can (and it sounds like it: "This seems like a SMALL issue to me, not a big one.") then make your relationship work your way.

You're the only one who has to live in this relationship. Not me, not any of us--you.

[Confused145]

Sex is not a big part of relationships in my country, but if you want him to perform better make him have a power horse or red bull before sex. Have oral in a 69 position. You can buy yourself some sex toys and use them during intercourse. Buy a clitoris stimulator or something like that.

[2confusedgirl]

If it's a small issue to you then why are you listening to strangers on the internet?

Yes, I get the irony here.

[Bodhi1234]

Well what you can do is spice it up a little. If you offer to do 69 when oral comes up (lol sex pun) it might give him more motivation. Also don’t be afraid to bargain a little, 'if you do me ill do you “short of thing. Try it out and don’t be afraid to talk about sex to him!

[rockingpianoman]

get behavior treatment for that OCD , it's pretty easy to treat it and it has a very very high chance of succes :D

try 69 maybe ? don't know how to make him like giving you oral more ... maybe get into sexual behavior treatment hahah :D ( so you can both have something treated XD )

I don't see why you would dump him for not receiving oral that much , a lot of guys don't like giving it , and a lot of girls would like more of it ...

[medstudent1979]

And why are you listening to people on the Internet who know nothing about your relationship? How do you feel about your relationship otherwise, and is it really worth dumping your boyfriend over it? Who cares what other people say?

[CuriousEddie]

You're acting like cunnilingus is important if you're going to break up over it. Will anything else help fill the gap -- a vibrator or other sex toys, other positions, acting on your sexual fantasies?

[Anonymous]

So you're giving him oral often, but he's not giving you oral sex back? Is that the issue here?