Why do some men say perverted things?

Question

Say if your talking about, I don't know, Spartacus, I don't watch it, I'm just using it as an example, and you were just talking about the storyline, not the really sexual bits in it (I've heard what it's like), and a guy chirps up and says things like, ''Oh I really liked that hot scene where that naked chick...blah blah..''

Or, on Facebook pictures of somebody famous, there are always comments saying, ''I would love to smash her back doors in,'' or, ''give us a tit wank,'' or something like that.

I just wonder why some men do this?I mean, it turns me off completely, and I'm sure most women don't find it particularly attractive, those crude remarks.

I mean, say if I thought somebody was good-looking, that would be it, I wouldn't be like, ''Ugh I would love for him to come and bend me over and stick his **** in me,'' you get what I mean.

Answer 1

TheAnswerer | 1.6K opinions shared on Sexual Health topic.

Explorer

I don't think you should take it as something that males think that females want to hear.

It is just an expression of what they are feeling / thinking. Just like, if someone asks you how you are feeling, you would reply with "I'm fine, thank you." or "I'm not feeling well today."

Of course I understand what you mean: They don't have to be THAT honest and expressive! But, well, when you see a group of males that hang out together, know that social rules, manners and politeness are usually off the table.

You want to see what a guy is TRULY like? Observe him when he's with his close male friends. I mean it. That's where the masks drop, and the guy acts completely natural, and says things that he feels are right, regardless of how rude they can be, and it is accepted that way by the other guys. As soon as a female enters the group though, this dynamic is broken (unless the guys suspect that the new female member would approve of the "free speech" that goes on).

This is what people mean when they say "guy talk" by the way.

(By the way, this is not the case for all guys, and not the case for all friendships, but this is what usually happens.)

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emmablunt1993

+1 y
I see, my boyfriend has never said crude things like that, when he's with his friends, he doesn't even know who the women are, and he's not the type to say things like that, he just looks uneasy because he's not like most guys.
TheAnswerer

+1 y
Then he REALLY isn't like most guys I know. I guess that's a good thing? =)
emmablunt1993

+1 y
Yeah, it is a good thing, but it's also a strange thing as I have many people on here telling me, ''No, your delusional, of course your boyfriend does *insert male trait* because that's what guys do,'' I guess I just wish I could find more guys like that so it wouldn't be so strange that I have one like that, if you see what I mean.lol.
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TheAnswerer

+1 y
We all have some traits that break the pattern of "usual guy behavior", or "usual girl behavior", or "usual human behavior".

Don't you have a trait that we would find very "out of the norm"?

So what if your boyfriend's "identifying traits" are a little more visible than others'? =))
emmablunt1993

+1 y
Well, yeah, I always found that I can't look at a guy and think, ''Oh, he's so hot,'' I have to actually know the person first.I also don't find any celebrities attractive.But then, my boyfriend has both of these traits.And we both don't feel attracted to other people since we've been in a relationship, and they aren't normal, not for men or women.
TheAnswerer

+1 y
There you go. So you don't have to feel like your boyfriend is strange, because we all are strange in our ways. (That's what I was trying to say with my previous comment, and the question was actually rhetorical, but thanks for answering anyway.)

=)

Answer 2

emmablunt1993

I see, my boyfriend has never said crude things like that, when he's with his friends, he doesn't even know who the women are, and he's not the type to say things like that, he just looks uneasy because he's not like most guys.

Answer 3

TheAnswerer

Then he REALLY isn't like most guys I know. I guess that's a good thing? =)

Answer 4

emmablunt1993

Yeah, it is a good thing, but it's also a strange thing as I have many people on here telling me, ''No, your delusional, of course your boyfriend does *insert male trait* because that's what guys do,'' I guess I just wish I could find more guys like that so it wouldn't be so strange that I have one like that, if you see what I mean.lol.

Answer 5

TheAnswerer

We all have some traits that break the pattern of "usual guy behavior", or "usual girl behavior", or "usual human behavior".

Don't you have a trait that we would find very "out of the norm"?

So what if your boyfriend's "identifying traits" are a little more visible than others'? =))

Answer 6

emmablunt1993

Well, yeah, I always found that I can't look at a guy and think, ''Oh, he's so hot,'' I have to actually know the person first.I also don't find any celebrities attractive.But then, my boyfriend has both of these traits.And we both don't feel attracted to other people since we've been in a relationship, and they aren't normal, not for men or women.

Answer 7

TheAnswerer

There you go. So you don't have to feel like your boyfriend is strange, because we all are strange in our ways. (That's what I was trying to say with my previous comment, and the question was actually rhetorical, but thanks for answering anyway.)

=)

Answer 8

20Questions

Xper 3

Other guys see it as cool and macho I guess. Some guys feel a bit effeminate or overly stiff in say, their job so use this kind of language from time to time to prove they're still one of the lads

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1 Person

emmablunt1993

+1 y
Best answer so far, I think a lot of guys just say things for the sake of it, so they seem 'tough,' when really, it's a deal breaker for me if I hear a guy talking like that.

Answer 9

emmablunt1993

Best answer so far, I think a lot of guys just say things for the sake of it, so they seem 'tough,' when really, it's a deal breaker for me if I hear a guy talking like that.

Answer 10

Anonymous

First of all, they CAN help it.

But yeah, I totally agree. It's very annoying when guys do this and it's also a turn-off.

Guys stop doing it.

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5 People

Answer 11

Leamonade

Xper 2

I'm going to be the odd one out and say it actually makes me laugh when they do that?

Probably because I do it too. It's funny, and fun. *shrugs*

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3 People

Answer 12

Joe814 | 54 opinions shared on Sexual Health topic.

Xper 5

Well, men are GENERALLY...dominated by the hormone testosterone. When lifestyle and personal awareness is not managed with discipline, these foul words and phrases seem to just slip out. It is in our wiring to reproduce...and reproduce, and reproduce.

The male drive is accountable for maybe over half of the world's population? Maybe more. Some women who conduct themselves respectfully are also affected by testosterone in particular times in their lives when they will observe a guy they like and they might just vocalize the "stick his **** in me."

I believe we must be in control not just our hormones yet this age -meaning present times- seems more inclined to let go of the burdens of thought and self control to get what their hormones ask for. This of course is the point where the price of frivolity is issued. Hope this enlightens you. Good luck.

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2 People

emmablunt1993

+1 y
I don't agree with the 'biologically programmed' stuff, only because when I met my boyfriend he was so different from any other guy, he had only had one other 'thing' with another girl, not a proper relationship.He'd only slept with me and another girl, and I'm the one who initiates sex, because I have a really high sex drive, and he doesn't.He has rarely watched p*rn, and doesn't watch it at all now, and since he's been with me, he's told me his interests have gone for other women, completely.
emmablunt1993

+1 y
If all this biological programming stuff was entirely true, because I'm not saying it doesn't play a part,wouldn't all men be the same?
kheserthorpe

+1 y
The 'normal' male range for testosterone varies by 300% from the low to the high end. So no.
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Belgie

+1 y
"Well, men are GENERALLY...dominated by the hormone testosterone. "

This simple fact of biology is one of the most hated and oft-disputed facts on GAG.
emmablunt1993

+1 y
Yeah, because to most people, it seems like an excuse, and to the men who are like my boyfriend, they think this too.I just think that everyone is different, and while generally, most men think in that 'typical' way, there are also men, who aren't like that at all.Just like most women are committed to one guy, there will always be a fair few who like to act more like the typical male.
Joe814

+1 y
Don't be fooled so quickly, every heterosexual male, every one has "nasty" plans for their woman or another. At least once in our lives it is either thought, carried out, or vocalized. How a man conducts himself in open and private, is the redirection or self control he has. Anyone can resist the urges that usually control them.

Answer 13

emmablunt1993

I don't agree with the 'biologically programmed' stuff, only because when I met my boyfriend he was so different from any other guy, he had only had one other 'thing' with another girl, not a proper relationship.He'd only slept with me and another girl, and I'm the one who initiates sex, because I have a really high sex drive, and he doesn't.He has rarely watched p*rn, and doesn't watch it at all now, and since he's been with me, he's told me his interests have gone for other women, completely.

Answer 14

emmablunt1993

If all this biological programming stuff was entirely true, because I'm not saying it doesn't play a part,wouldn't all men be the same?

Answer 15

kheserthorpe

The 'normal' male range for testosterone varies by 300% from the low to the high end. So no.

Answer 16

Belgie

"Well, men are GENERALLY...dominated by the hormone testosterone. "

This simple fact of biology is one of the most hated and oft-disputed facts on GAG.

Answer 17

emmablunt1993

Yeah, because to most people, it seems like an excuse, and to the men who are like my boyfriend, they think this too.I just think that everyone is different, and while generally, most men think in that 'typical' way, there are also men, who aren't like that at all.Just like most women are committed to one guy, there will always be a fair few who like to act more like the typical male.

Answer 18

Joe814

Don't be fooled so quickly, every heterosexual male, every one has "nasty" plans for their woman or another. At least once in our lives it is either thought, carried out, or vocalized. How a man conducts himself in open and private, is the redirection or self control he has. Anyone can resist the urges that usually control them.

Answer 19

kheserthorpe

Master

Generally speaking, most men are suppressing those thoughts 95% of the time, but 5% of the time it slips out. Your real question of course is why do they think those things, which has been discussed repeatedly. In any case - most do. And sometimes they say so.

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1 Person

emmablunt1993

+1 y
No, it's honestly, why do they say them, it's gross, I don't want to hear it, it makes them sound disgusting.
kheserthorpe

+1 y
Basically those sorts of comments are not said for you - its men talking to other men generally (or forgetting they aren't). Because guys who are open about sex talk like that to each other.
emmablunt1993

+1 y
Yeah, but only the kind of guys who like to banter about that sort of thing with their friends, which is most guys, and sometimes they say it in front of women, too.
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kheserthorpe

+1 y
Well on something like Facebook, the comment is really not for your benefit. You're essentially eavesdropping on a guy type conversation.

I'd guess a guy who says it directly to you has not figured out that women don't like this. At least I think they don't. But frankly, I always hid my sex drive too much growing up. Its difficult to balance, I guess.

Answer 20

emmablunt1993

No, it's honestly, why do they say them, it's gross, I don't want to hear it, it makes them sound disgusting.

Answer 21

kheserthorpe

Basically those sorts of comments are not said for you - its men talking to other men generally (or forgetting they aren't). Because guys who are open about sex talk like that to each other.

Answer 22

emmablunt1993

Yeah, but only the kind of guys who like to banter about that sort of thing with their friends, which is most guys, and sometimes they say it in front of women, too.

Answer 23

kheserthorpe

Well on something like Facebook, the comment is really not for your benefit. You're essentially eavesdropping on a guy type conversation.

I'd guess a guy who says it directly to you has not figured out that women don't like this. At least I think they don't. But frankly, I always hid my sex drive too much growing up. Its difficult to balance, I guess.

Answer 24

Levin | 321 opinions shared on Sexual Health topic.

Master

because all men are bastards, apart from your boyfriend. Happy?

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3 People

emmablunt1993

+1 y
Lol, no, that's not what I mean, and it doesn't make men bastards for saying rude things :)

Answer 25

emmablunt1993

Lol, no, that's not what I mean, and it doesn't make men bastards for saying rude things :)

Answer 26

Anonymous

"'Oh I really liked that hot scene where that naked chick...blah blah..''"

That doesn't sound perverted. That sounds like he's airing his opinion.

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2 People

emmablunt1993

+1 y
I didn't finish it, because you can guess what comes next, which is perverted.
Opinion Owner

+1 y
But you had no problem giving us the comment "give us a tit wank"... so you can see my confusion...
emmablunt1993

+1 y
Lol, I apologize.

Answer 27

emmablunt1993

I didn't finish it, because you can guess what comes next, which is perverted.

Answer 28

Opinion Owner

But you had no problem giving us the comment "give us a tit wank"... so you can see my confusion...

Answer 29

emmablunt1993

Lol, I apologize.

Answer 30

Anonymous

So sex in the city is completely full of sh*t?

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4 People

Leamonade

+1 y
Hahahahahaha

Answer 31

Leamonade

Hahahahahaha

Answer 32

OpenArmsAlice | 66 opinions shared on Sexual Health topic.

Xper 6

They can't help it..just who they are.

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2 People

Why do some men say perverted things?

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