Went fast with a guy, I don't know what to do...advice please?

[sammyangel9991]

So I met this guy a week ago and we started talking a lot. Like for a whole week we would talk for 4+ hours at night and talk all day. Then 2 days ago I went over to his apartment to watch movies and cuddle with him and stuff. And we were going to start a movie and then he like started making out with me. I'm a virgin and he knows I've never gone beyond making out with a guy before. Then he like got on top of me and started playing with and sucking on my boobs...and I let him because I wanted to know what it was like. And he started fingering me, but he was like horrible at it. He was rough and abrupt and had no idea what he was doing. And then he pulled his pants down and I stroked him and gave him a bj twice. Then he wanted to have sex, but I told him no I didn't love him and I didn't want to just give it up. And so he was like come on you're 18, you have to lose it sometime. I was like yeah to the right guy when I love and care about him. Then we finished watching movies and he dropped me off. The thing is he told me he slept with his exes in the first 2 weeks and they were together for 3 and 4 years. He said he grows to like girls more when he sleeps with them a lot and that's when he makes it a relationship. And he said that when a guy really likes a girl, he's not going to leave her after they sleep together. Then he didn't text me as much the next day, but he still did, but he didn't call me babe or anything. He used to always text me all day long. Then at night I was like "Do you wanna hangout again? Like I want to get to know you and spend time with you, but I'm not going to jump into bed with you." And he messaged back 3 hours later "Well I might, but we have a difference of opinion. I can't explain it right here, but maybe later when we talk. Goodnight." Then he hasn't texted me yet today. He always texts me all day even when he works. He's an engineer and he's 25. It's just that like I've grown to like him from talking so much. We really connected and I just feel used and upset, but I don't think he's lying that he sleeps with girlfriends fast and I'm usually a good judge of when people are lying. I just don't know. Any advice?

[ncsquirll99]

well great question and very detailed. First I just want to make it clear that if you are not ready to lose it THEN STAY AWAY FROM THIS GUY! He seriously seems like he cares way more about sex than about you. Sure he probably likes you but he isn't willing to give up sex for that. The thing is that if you wanted sex I would say you could just use each other BUT that is clearly not what you want. The best think that I can tell you is that you should forget about him. He seems like a player and while you may like him you said it best -you don't love him.

However, you should know that there is nothing wrong with having sex with someone you don't "love" and as you get older you realize that at some point to some degree. But it is just a decision you have to make for yourself. Sometimes as a guy I just want a girl to prove she is serious about us becuase I have been falsely led on and lied to SO much. So I try to get a "proof" of commitment whether it is driving a long way out of the way to meeet me somewhere, or revealing pictures, or if it is just trusting me and going out on a limb. It sounds like this guy is a loser but unfortunately the world is full of them. LOLZ at a virgin talking abpout how much he sucked at fingering! I wish you would have told him.

[sfauo]

It really is amazing how even when things went fast, and even though you're just 20, you still want to be with this guy. You must really like him or at least think he's incredibly handsome since rushing is one of the things most girls hate.

As for advice, I think it's pretty clear what he wants, now it's just up to you if you want to give him a chance while maybe change his thinking, or let him do his thing. You should always stick to your morals though, don't let him change yours.

[Anonymous]

ur not 18 your 20 I think and dump him

[Anonymous]

If a guy respects you when you're a virgin, then he won't take advantage of you. Sounds like he doesn't respect you