Do your perceptions of someone's physical attractiveness change?

Imagine when you met you found someone physically attractive, and the personality aspects that originally attracted you are still there. Does your perception of their physical attractiveness change in the following situations?

1) You went out, they hurt you badly.

2) You went out, you broke up through circumstances (e.g. geography or stress) and remained friends.

3) You went out, it ended mutually, you remained friends.

4) You never got together, you became friends.

5) You became friends, you got together but did not go out, you went back to being friends.

6) You went out, but they turned out to have negative personality traits or habits you did not see before (e.g. posessive, rude to parents or service).

7) You hit on someone, they rejected you, you remained friends or aquaintances.

Essentially I want to know if physical attraction dies over time, if so how long, and particularly in the case of when you still get on with this person, does it ever die?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The physical attraction never changes unless her physical state changes (weight gain etc.). However, Although the physical attraction never changes , any of those situations you stated can make you have strong emotional changes which in the long run can overpower the physical attraction. If I was very physically attracted to a girl but then realized that she had negative personality traits (personality is the most important thing to me) I just could no longer be attracted to that person no matter how great her looks are. I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years , she has a wonderful personality and a loving heart ; I'm still as attracted to her as the day we met.

    • Aw that's sweet.... Can I ask, what about if you stay friends but not together with someone?

      And also, are you saying that in any case where there hasn't been a big fall out or turn off, the physical attraction will remain?

    • Show All
    • Thanks lol. That's what I thought, and was wanting to hear confirmed!

      The guy I like has commitment issues so broke of what we had, but we are remaining very close friends... Its a recent change so we will see how it goes, but I am reassured to think that part of things is unlikely to change, and I know we get on amazingly, so its literally just waiting out to see if his commitment issues subside. Thanks heaps. :)

    • No prob. Just have patience. Hope everything works out for you.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • not from experience but simply through reading, etc. YES physical attraction can change. Why, well on a scientific level within 2-3 years or so, our bodies start giving more (something, don't know what it's called) that makes us have more compassion/belonging/psychological attraction to the significant other. This is where we are comfortable, and don't go out as much to impress anybody because you already have the guy/girl. It's natural. If our bodies didn't do this then we would just be going to the next attractive person all of the time. (I admit, I think girls have more of this, let's call it "compassion juice" then guys do.)

  • Absolutely. The person themselves may still "look the same" but their attractiveness to you can definitely increase or decrease. Attractiveness is not an objective characteristic nor is it entirely determined by physical characteristics--it is perception based. Somebody who treats you well, or shows interest is more likely to seem more attractive than you first thought, while a person you initially thought was very physically attractive can look less so if they treat you poorly or you learn more about their character that you find undesirable.

  • Generally, their physical attractiveness wouldn't change, but their overall attractiveness would. Just because you're nice to look at doesn't mean your fun to be with, or relationship material, or good in the sack.

    • Yeah but that all comes under the discovering something else about them thing.

      As for my personal situation, I'm not worried about my sex skills (he told me I gave him the best orgasm in years...and I believed it given his reaction), and we get on amazingly etc. Relationship material or physical attractiveness is where my personal insecurities lie.

    • I wouldn't worry much about physical attractiveness; women have a lot more flexibility regarding that than guys do. Ask your most stylish friend for a makeover, and take half their advice.

      Relationship material, on the other hand, is completely under control. It's a character judgement, the gut check a guy gives himself when he asks, "What would a year with this girl be like? Five? Ten?" If the thought makes him frightened, nauseous, or sad, the relationship is doomed.

  • No, physical attraction for men is very visual, and it doesn't change in those situations. At least for me, but I think other guys, too.


What Girls Said 4

  • For me, I've never been physically attracted to anyone unless I got to know the real them. Who they are and what they're like. If the guy is a complete jerk I am no way attracted to him. When I first met my boyfriend, I thought he was kind of funny looking, until we stared talking and I got to know the real him...very sincere and kind. that's when I became attracted to him. I know it's weird, but I just don't let my hormones get in the way with what I know if that make any sense.

  • Physical attraction can definitely change over time because people change and so feelings can change quite quickly.

    • That's true of girls, not true of guys.

    • Really? well for girls, physical attraction usually changes if the person changes behavorially and with guys it's more visual/physical

  • Yes, physical attractiveness dies out sometimes.

    I think you can even recognize that the person is really good-looking but not necessarily be attracted to them. It's happened to me before.

  • 1. no because it's the person not the looks that hurt

    2. same as 1

    3. ok same thing

    say just because the situations are different. no what I find attractive doesn't change cuz, I still like blond guys.

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