Virginity and reality?

Question

26 and a virgin.I've always held my virginity is high esteem.  Never felt inadequate or ashamed.  Keeping the title has been a choice.  I'm normal, I figure I'm reasonably attractive, have a great personality, am educated, quick witted, clean, socially proficient, and financially independent.  I've dated virgins and (come to find out) non-virgins.  The relationships were generally pleasant and learning experiences both physically and emotionally, but I've always resisted the urge to go further physically in the relationship.  I've had the opportunity, both at my discretion and at their urging, but I've never felt certain enough at that moment that this was the girl I would marry.  I have a fair number of friends..A handful of the female friends who are aware of my virginity have come forward to inform me that if I ever change my mind, that they should be the first to know and they'd be happy to 'help' me out.  But such offers are exactly what I am not looking for in the girl I'd like to share my virginity with.I'm not a virgin for religious reasons, though I feel that morality is as reasonable of a reason as any for postponing sex.  It isn't about God for me.  It is my belief that my virginity is a gift to my future wife.  I owe it to her to give her my whole self.  My waiting for her is the least I can do for the women I will love for the rest of my life.  And the level of trust that I believe will come from sharing that experience with my wife is a bond that can not be broken.  My thought, you don't cheat on your wife after you vow your life to her.  Why should you do it before you take the vow to honor her?  I'm saving myself to honor my future wife.And if I can keep myself whole for her with all the temptation out there, I would think that could only strengthen the trust in the marriage.With all of that, reality still creeps in...At 26, soon to be 27, I recognize that every passing moment is a lost opportunity to find the perfect woman for me.  Every moment, the pool of virgin females within reasonable age proximity dwindles.  More worrisome is that the number of virgin, available females who I would be both physically attracted too and emotionally attracted too, is shrinking at an even greater rate.  They are getting married or engaged or are succumbing to the draws of pre-marital sex.  So to the actual question:With the number of virgin females around my age shrinking daily, how is a normal virgin guy supposed to track down compatible virgin females?  How does one meet virgin females without spending hours and hours sifting through girls I am attracted too, only to find out they aren't virgins?  Is it time to get desperate and start approaching females right off the bat with an inquiry into their sexual history?  Am I chasing a pipe dream hoping to find my perfect match?Are there even any virgins over the age of 21?  How do I find them?  Certainly not bars, clubs, etc...

angelwithin · Accepted Answer

Well first off.. let me just say that it's not a "pipe dream".. at least not in my opinion. I'm actually glad that there are people like you out there in the world who are looking for relationships that lead to a successful marriage (not just a fast/young marriage which eventually leads to divorce in this day and age). With that being said, I truly believe that people like you (and me) always tend to form relationships that will last. So hold onto that.

Now.. in order to find the girl you are looking for.. well all I can say is be patient. The higher your standards, the more you will have to wait (which is a good thing.. because when the right one comes along, it will be all the more worth it). I don't know about the number of virgins in this day and age, but to answer your specific question.. I am 22 and a virgin. I have a good head on my shoulders and I suppose you could say I'm cute in my own way. =) lol this should be proof enough that there are other girls out there who are over the age of 21, who are attractive (physically and mentally) and are virgins. Are they common to find? HECK NO! But they exist, you just have to find them.

As for where to find them.. beats me! It's not like we get together every weekend for the "Girls who are virgins and want more out of life" club lol. Just don't give up and keep looking, you'll be surprised the type of girls you can find in different places. Good luck!

mid20sgirl86 · Accepted Answer

I'm still a virgin at 26 and I'm starting to get scared. I want to be in a relationship to lose my virginity. I don't have to be married. However, I haven't been able to get into a relationship. I've dated, but either I didn't like the guy enough or he didn't like me enough. I really really don't want to lose my virginity to a one night stand, but I'm starting to think that if a guy finds out I am still a virgin at my age he will think something is wrong with me. There is also another belief that virgins are automatically clingy, even though I doubt I can ever be clingy. I've never been clingy in my life. I'm worried when I finally have sex I won't be any good or I might be the dreaded log that guys all hate. I don't know any tricks or anything. I also don't have much kissing experiencing. What if a guy doesn't want me because I am a bad kisser. Any time I've kissed guys I've been drunk. I don't want to enter into a relationship with a lie. So I don't want to pretend I am not a virgin. I'm worried guys will be upset once they find out I haven't slept around.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you met a girl who was otherwise perfect for you, and then you found out she had a sexual past, would you still pursue her?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm 33 and a virgin.

I was like you when I was 27. I was raised with a religious background. I was planning on saving myself until my wedding day. I was trying to find the right girl. I hoped I would one day find a girl as inexperienced as me. BIG mistake.

What I have found is that all the girls I know, even the religious girls, are not virgins. Not only that, they look down on virgins and find it a massive turn off. They don't necessary say this to your face, they will tell you how "great" it is, but then they will dump you. They will run away. Don't mess up your life like I have done. Look at my mistakes and learn from them. Don't try to find the right girl. Don't wait until you get married. Just find a girl and become sexually experienced. Be sure to be safe. Then when you find the right girl, who almost certainly will not be a virgin, you can rock her world.

SALAHADDIN · Accepted Answer

WOW...really I am speechless and have no words to say about your greatness...great men are still found in this planet ,...you really changed my beliefs about American society ( I am Arabian)and such beliefs that you embrace are our beliefs in other words they are Islamic beliefs.

i am 25 and still virgin but I found my girl because it is very easy to find this kind of gals in our society...

believe me you are in the right path pal , just keep moving and don't give up those beliefs ...you will find her ...ALLAH will not leave you ...ALLAH BLESS YOU...

I Will be happy if you confirm my friendship...

samhradh_ean · Answer

I don't mean to sound lazy, but your question is TOO long.

Virgins over 21 aren't that common, but they're out there. However, since people don't walk around with signs announcing whether or not they're a virgin, it's virtually impossible to pick out virgins from non virgins without getting to know them well first. If you're absolutely not interested in anyone who isn't a virgin, you might consider online dating or checking out web forums and communities, since in those situations it's easier to state right off the bat that you're looking for another virgin.

CatholicVirginia · Answer

Dude, why do you have to date a virgin? YOU'RE strong enough to save yourself, but if you love her so much (even before you meet her), who the hell are you to judge her and what she's done in her past? Shouldn't it be enough that she is willing to wait for you, and never cheats on you after marriage? That she loves you? Or do you have to demand virginity as well?

AshlynGrace · Answer

Wow you are a rare breed indeed. Not many guys think like that and a lot of girls are looking for a guy like you. I lost my virginity when I was 19 and it was not great but I'm not going to get in to it. I don't regret it but I wish it was a little more special or with someone special. Don't go looking for a girl, you will find one that has the same beliefs as you. Think of it like this, you being a virgin(not a bad thing), where would you want to meet people?

soflavio · Answer

Virgin over 21 here. I also have been to bars and clubs (although not often) and know some virgin girls who hang out at these places often. I understand your pledge to your future wife, I have a similar (albeit Christ centered) approach causing my lack of sexual experience

I do not know how you could find a virgin to marry, but have you thought about possibly finding a women with a similar mindset that might have a sexual past? It is an honorable thing that you are doing, but the way the question is seems like you are so focused on virginity you would marry a marginally compatible virgin woman over a really great compatible partner with a small sexual past.

misstgrl · Answer

Holey crap! this hits a sore spot for me. My boyfriend is a virgin (and also 26 lol) and he has explained it to me just the way that you did.

want2helpout84 · Answer

Wow you were JUST like me in that area last year and or a couple months back. I finally gave in after I broke up with my tumultuous ex boyfriend, being emotionally ridden, if I could say that.

It was with a guy of my same race. A skater, though he was nice and a fun but geeky or Dorothy side to him a little bit. He turned me on physically and I wanted to join the non virgins club and was really curious if I could "fit " a lenient in there healthily and normally If you know what I mean. I was just in a vulnerable time and he wad a good kissed and I thought he had genuine feelings for me and that itself turned me on super badly! Taught me how to skateboard so he helped me

He gave me hope that things will be better and fun and good with him. I was thinking he was clean and free of stds / stow though I'm still not sure if he is or not, but in positive thinking, I would think he wouldn't want any and would be careful in that area especially. Since its conserning himself. I certainly hope so. Though I could really care less of what he does from this point on. Since I learner that he wad just after my p****

TadCurious · Answer

You're hopelessly trapped inside the mythology of virginity.

swimmerchik · Answer

I can't really help answer your question since I'm only 16 but I just wanted to say that I am so happy to hear that you are saving your virginity for you are future wife. I am doing the same for my future husband. There are far too few people out there with this mindset and I makes me very happy to hear about people like you making the right decision. All I can say is if you wait long enough you will find your soul mate but until then don't compromise your beliefs for the pressure of society.

reneewg · Answer

ofcourse they are..u need to look area that is more religious :-)

frustratedchump06 · Answer

if I were you I would not care if a girl is a virgin or not

GamerGirl71618 · Answer

Date younger girls. :D I'm twenty and still a virgin. XP

MuseTay · Answer

22 & a virgin, I feel the exact same... as if virgin guys are dwindling by the second. Most guys I've dated or talked to for months weren't virgins & they insisted on them being my first & those are the exact people I'm trying to avoid, I want to wait until marriage but just thinking about how hard it may be to come in contact with a guy that's a virgin & wants to wait also seems like it may be unrealistic sometimes. I'm Catholic also but most guys at my church are much younger or older. I guess it all comes to just having patience in the end.

emzy-89 · Answer

im 23 and a virgin. I'm a Christian (Catholic) so it's easy for me to find other virgins around my age because I attend church with them and then we become friends.

ihmb24 · Answer

I'm a virgin, and I'm 27! And that means I haven't done anything sexual, not even kiss. I'm not doing it for religious reasons either...it's more that I don't want to have sex with random people, only the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Just haven't found him yet. Sex = emotional attachment...and I don't want that attachment to someone I'm not in love with.

To be honest...the only virgin women I know are strictly religious...most are Muslim.

Places I go...Coffee shops, libraries, art galleries, poetry readings, walking around big cities...etc. I don't think that you'll know if a girl is a virgin unless you ask...so if you find a girl that you're interested in...bring that up early on so you won't waste time.

No...you're not chasing a pipe dream.

How do you find them? Right here...I'm one, message me if you want.

Anonymous · Answer

I've been told that girls have all lost their virginity by the age of 18. Sorry, friend. At least that is the case where I live.

Anonymous · Answer

I have to say you have hit the nail on the head with this one. This is EXACTLY the mindset I have. I worry about the same thing on a daily basis. I am 19 and a virgin guy.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you should move to a different state or city to search for that virgin future wife of yours. Females vary in different areas, Dallas, Austin and Houston are cities you should explore.  You've gotta go looking for her, she is not going to just fall out of the sky for you.

Anonymous · Answer

she's looking for you as much as you are looking for her... hang in there =) good luck!

Anonymous · Answer

goodness well when you figure out where to find all the virgin men in LA let me know,  don't worry you will find her.  I am not sure if I can help you find her though, I am a virgin but I do not know where to find other virgins, luck I guess for lack of a better answer, all my past relationships have been with non virgins so far

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