Domination fantasy from male POV?

[leximarie]

So I have been wanting to ask this question on here for a while now but truth be told I am VERY lazy and so I never got around to doing it. I have a domination fantasy (force/rough/ intense dirty talk/ submission/ choking/restraint) and I know that this fantasy is particularly common among females. From reading answers on this site, some psychology books and talking to friends it seems this is one of the more common female fantasies, and as a female I understand the appeal. Sometimes people call it a rape fantasy but really it is more of reluctance/ non-consent...anyway from the female perspective someone is forcing you to feel pleasure, the goal is not control (as is the case with real rape) and the person has your interest at heart. SO... My question is how do males experience this fantasy? I'm always thrilled by the idea I would be intimate with a man who has a dominant sexual personality, but frightened for his reasoning behind it, I worry it won't be for the selfless reasons (as in my fantasies) and more for selfish purposes of his own. Guys who have this fantasy can you explain it at all? Im sorry if this question makes no sense, hahah it's difficult to articulate myself for some reason.

[MrOracle]

I've dated several girls who were really into this (more than I am by default), but I'm fairly dominant by nature, so it wasn't difficult for me to step it up and take it to the next level. Realize that many men simply don't have that dominance in them, and they'd never be good, or comfortable, in trying to be that way.

Anyway, it was fun for me because I had to think more, and plan ahead a little bit, but in particular, the girl was SO aroused and excited by everything that I couldn't help but to be aroused and excited too. What gets me going more than anything is when my girl desires me and is aroused by me and what I'm doing, especially when she gets to the point where she can barely handle it. And domination definitely uses a lot of that. It wouldn't work for me at all if it was "real", meaning if she didn't WANT to be dominated and controlled and "forced" and so on; it's the fact that those things turn her on so much, even as she fights or cries or squeals, that makes it enjoyable.

[leximarie]

hahah reading the first oart of your question made me sad hahahah I hope I end up with a guy who is into seeing as it is such a strong fantasy for me.

[TheAnswerer]

We feel like we have power and control over the amount of pleasure you receive, and we feel like we are the "providers" of your sexual satisfaction. That alone is a turn-on.

Sorry if it still is vague. I just don't know how much more to elaborate on it. If I give more detail, it will start making less sense.

[leximarie]

hahah no no its OK you can go into more detail I would appreciate that! even if you don't think it makes sense lol! you can message me if you want. (I didn't think this question would make sense lol)

[TheAnswerer]

Nah, there's no need for private messaging. I'm not "ashamed" of saying more. It's just that, I am searching for words that fit what I'm trying to say. Hold on.

[TheAnswerer]

Like, how can I explain why being in the role of the "giver" is such a huge turn-on? (Somebody help!) May be I can just say that it is in our nature?

[leximarie]

hahahah OK that makes sense ..kind of

[nothingtosee]

It's a really hot fantasy and there's nothing wrong with trying to fulfill it. In order to have it done right, you need to tell your boyfriend (or husband) ALL the details about it. I would suggest sending him an email detailing it. For example, would you want more than one guy present? If you want more than one person there, would you want one of them to be a woman? Perhaps she's one of the people who's going to rape you? Or perhaps she's there to be raped too, and you are forced to watch or be watched? By putting every detail about it in an email if he decides to fuifill it for you, it will be EXACTLY the way you fantasize about it. Plus, if he's going to do it, it needs to be done when you are least expecting it.

Also, here's a suggestion, if he goes through it (for you) suggest that it gets video taped. That way he can blackmail you into doing it again. Or so you two can watch it together while you're having sex wtih him. Or perhaps you can watch it alone as you're masturbating.

[wordsOFwisdom]

My girlfriend loves that stuff. I went as far as holding a knife to her head/kneck (switch blade) demanding certain positions and said certain things. She loves me chocking her while f***ing the **** out of her. Sorry if this sounds crazy but we both enjoy it!

[throdd]

I love it! I guess my part of it would be slamming it to you for hours. Not to hurt you but to make you come so many times you can't count. Your question is such a turn on to read. I don't have that good control to stay at the peak of hardness. I explode after a short time so I have to slow it down, which might keep you from getting the kind of pounding your seeking. hope this helps. Thanks for friending me

[Fronk]

Yes I love dominating a girl but it’s always cause I want her to have the craziest and best fuck of her life!!! If you’ve never done it before you need to try it with someone like me 😏😏