Sexual Health
+1 y

My boyfriend doesn't want to masturbate when I tell him why ?

Me and my boyfriend are both virgins and planning to wait until marriage, however we occasionally make out.. he always gets hard from the second he touches me and sometimes it's hard for me to access his penis (public place for ex.) , and I cannot give him neither bj nor hj... and I feel bad for him , so I tell him to go to the bathroom, jack off and then come back again .. you know , just for him to relax! , but he doesn't want to .. I asked him why and he said that it doesn't feel good of course being tense and having a boner and not able to take everything out .. but this tension feels better than masturbating.. and he said that he wants to cuddle and show me love , he doesn't just wanna jerk off and that's it .. is it a good thing that he thinks like that ? or should I be mad ?
Updates:
+1 y
You guys .. I didn't mean that I am telling him what to do! or that I am forcing him in any way! .. IGosh , I was just trying to make him feel comfortable.. I guess it's' a big mistake to do someone a favor nowadays! you are all so judgy and mean.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I understand your question, and your intentions behind it. It comes down to this: he'd rather save it for you (and spend the time with you, rather than in the bathroom) even if it causes some tension and discomfort, than to just go jack off. He wants to share his sexuality with you, even if that means he is just going to sit next to you with an erection; it's better than being alone.

    Having said that, it's very cool that you're understanding of this and open-minded about him going and 'taking care of business" and thinking about his comfort. I'm sure he appreciates that; most girls don't really think about the guy that way, or might be weirded out by that thought, so that's awesome. Just knowing you'd be cool with it is going to make him feel better.

    But it should also make you feel better that he'd rather save it for you, than take care if it himself. Just because he isn't taking you up on your "offer" doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate it; it's just more important for him to spend his moments with you instead.

  • Yeah, nobody just walks off to the bathroom for 10min to rub one out while his Girlfriend waits in the lobby. Just because he gets a quick boner doesn't exactly mean he feels like he is going to burst. What is more important is what you guys are doing to cause that boner. Male masturbation is also less socially acceptable. It's looked at as being disgusting, where as with females its the opposite. He would inevitably be self conscious. Honestly if you really want to help him, just wait until you get home and help him out if you know what I mean. Either that or just go all the way. I don't really see the point in being OK with a BJ but not intercourse. They're both technically sex.

Most Helpful Girls

  • well it's really not your business how he chooses to handle his sexual frustrations. I mean I know you are his girlfriend but you don't get to decide how he handles his bodily functions. if you told him it was OK with you for him to take care of it if that makes him feel better and he chooses not to then that's his decision and you should respect it and move on. I don't get why this is such a big deal for you...is this just something you think he should do so you will continue to pester him until he handles it the way you think he should or are you embarrassed by his boner in public and you want it to go away?

    otherwise I think this is a control issue you have and you need to let him deal with his own body and you deal with yours the way you want to and not make it a big deal. Guys kinda hate that and I wouldn't want you to screw up a good thing over something that's not really important.

    • You understood everything in the wrong way. I don't force him to do anything, I just know that guys would be embarrassed to leave the girl and go masturbate in the bathroom , so I just made it clear that I was fine with it if its gonna make him feel better. This is not a huge deal at all, I was just wondering if this is a sign of love or what! that's all

    • I'm not sure what you're asking then...are you asking if the fact that he doesn't want to go take care of it is a sign of love? it just means staying with you is more important than taking care of it. it's like what the other guyssaid...he won't explode and most guys don't get blue balls so it's nothing to be concerned about if he wants to stay instead then his physical needs aren't as high as his emotional need to be with you in that moment.

  • Okay, so... guys get boners in public sometimes---whether they're virgins, non-virgins, with a girl, or single. But they don't typically rush off to the bathroom to jerk off every time they get an erection. That's, well, kind of weird. Generally, they let it subside and then "relieve" themselves at a more appropriate time (i.e. when they go home, or when they have alone time with their girl, etc.).

    And, while I'm not a guy, I would find it especially awkward if I were making out with a guy and I got turned on... to go to the bathroom and masturbate. I'd much rather stay with the guy and continue to make out, cuddle, or whatever, even if I was really horny.

    So, no, I don't think you should be mad. I can't even figure out why you would be mad.

  • to your update I understand what you're asking now because of your reply below, but it really wasn't clear in your original post wtf you were trying to ask. lol

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 10

  • Let's put it this way. He is probably jerking off a storm, he's just not doing it when you're around. This doesn't mean he's not attracted to you. It's no different than if you got horny, your not going to tell your Boyfriend to give you 10 min, while you go into the other room and relieve yourself. Masturbation is usually considered a private act, unless its part of foreplay, but you guys aren't having sex so that wouldn't be an issue. If you offered to fool around with WITH him, I guarantee he would have his junk in his hand faster than you can blink.

  • If he's excited touching and kissing you, going off to jerk off on his own will be a let down.

    try sitting on his lap while kissing, you can grind a little bit without it being noticeable.

    • He doesn't want to 'feel better'. He wants to enjoy feeling sexual with you.

  • He is trying to be a good boyfriend. A good boyfriend will not leave his girlfriend in the lobby or wherever, and go jerk off in the bathroom. If I was in the same situation, I would not go either. Plus, it's his business. You can make suggestions, but you should not tell him to go jerk off while you wait. That's not how relationships work.

    • I didn't tell him to do anything . .I just told him that it is okay with me if this would make him feel better.

  • Is this the problems Virgins really go thru? Just let him put the head in.lol your still a virgin if the Hyman doesn't break right? Because bj is sex also(ooh my head is sex?YES) so you broke the waiting til marriage fairy tale.

    Virgins won't have vaginal sex, but oral & anal sex is fair game?

    Act like getting grown for once...

  • Just let this go. His penis... His business.

    I'm curious. Are you more annoyed by the fact that he doesn't masturbate? Or by the fact that he won't do what you tell him to do?

  • Should you be mad? Your nuts

    • Could you elaborate ?

    • First of all dudes don't have to jerkoff every time we get a b

    • Sorry I hit comment on accident anyway we don't NEED to jerkoff whenever we get a boner so just because you suggested it or told him you wouldn't mind doesn't mean he wants to do it I wouldn't jerkoff in a public br and the reason I said your nuts is because you asked if you should be mad? How are you gonna let other people decide for you if your mad at your boyfriend or not... That's crazy

  • I think it is good that he thinks like this. He doesn't want to just go beat off when you guys are messing around, that isn't fun. He wants to be with you, so I would say that is a good thing.

  • You should be mad

    • why ?

    • I think it's self explanatory. If not, message me

    • No it isn't really .. please be more clear and hit the anonymous button . I appreciate it

    • Show All

  • There's not much you can do, except comfort him. If he doesn't want to go and masturbate, then that is his decision. He takes a chance of getting blue balls though. Just sit back and enjoy his erection of love.

  • He wants you to do it ha ha :p masturbating in public by yourself or while your girlfriend is waiting for you just seems weird.

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