Sexual Health
+1 y

Even though I know my boyfriend is a sadist, I can't make myself leave the relationship?

So I met my boyfriend at a party and we hit it off really quickly. He's one of those people who are really charming and funny, and I couldn't resist his humor/charm. We started dating a month after we first met. At first, everything was fine. The only thing that seemed a bit off was that although he wanted to talk to me about his family frustrations (he's not on good terms with his parents), whenever I tried to talk to him about the frustrations in my life, he would seem to not really care and give responses like "sucks for you" which don't really show any empathy. But I ignored that, and the relationship progressed. A month into it, he told me that he was a schizophrenic (hears voices in his head) but that he refuses to see a shrink for that. I was wary but accepted that as part of him. Then, a few weeks after that, he told me he's a sadist and he imagines hurting people a lot, although he hasn't imagined hurting me before. But I have noticed that his sexual fantasies involve degrading me in various ways (ex: cumming on my face, calling me a slut, etc). So basically, I know that I probably *should* leave him, but I can't bring myself to do it. Can anyone offer advice/support? Thank you so much,
Updates:
+1 y
Oh and the scariest thing he's ever said is that he can see Hitler's point of view. We argued about that for a loooong time but I couldn't change his stance that, if he were in Hitler's situation, he might do the same/similar. But then, on the other hand, he's the sweetest and most romantic person ever. He gives me flowers all the times and always thinks of romantic places to go and such.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • There is a witch in his family. His thoughts are not his own. He is not strong enough to fight it. So you pray to Jesus Christ. Because Jesus Christ helps get rid of demons. And it is just demons that bothers him in his thoughs and minds and help him away far from his family who you suspect could be a witch and there could be more then one ofcourse or his whole family is a witch. pray. that is the only answer and ask others to pray with you if that is possible. Get rid of demons. if they give you presents they say it is not nice if you do not want it. then it is a sign they curse objects and you see demons. cause they curse objects and give as presents and letters too. so no marry Christmas cards. that is better and savier. no birthday cards. pray to god to get rid of all demons. then bless all things in gods name. go with your heart and soul in deep prayer to Jesus Christ and ask him sinserely for help. This really works.

  • Your boyfriend has a lot of mental problems. Are you going to wait for them to progress? and watch him rapidly deteriate over time?

    If Schizophrenia if left untreated can cause an increase in self harm and or/inflicting pain on others.

    You need to give him an ultimatum. Either he seeks help or you leave him.

    If you continue to stay with him in hopes of things getting better, trust me they will only get worst and your relationship will be over even without you saying it is.

  • You have someone here with problems that he knows he has and refuses to get help for himself and although he hasn't done anything to harm you yet, you just never know when he will loose it and hurt you.

    DUMP HIM as he will not change for the better until he helps himself.

    • He argues that his schizophrenia makes his smarter. He's really smart, top of his class, and says that having all those voices in his head help him out with school and stuff and that's why he refused to get help. Idk. I don't know what to think of it.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I don't see how ejaculating on your face is degrading you.

    Actually, having sex in any other position then missionary could be construed as degrading your sexual partner.

    If you're thinking about leaving him because of all of those reasons. Then do it, don't think about it.

    "Hey, I"m just not comfortable with where this relationship is heading and I think it would be better if we just stopped dating."

    It's not that you can't, it's that you're not even trying.

    • I can't bring myself mentally to do it. And I only mentioned the mild stuff. But he likes choking me and slapping me too.

    • Yep. So does one of my exs. And that would happen to be because she's dated some muscular, power hungry marines that like treating their women like that. It's just personal preference. Call him and say you're over. That's about it.

  • Some people just like it rough. If it isn't what you are into then you should tell him so. Sexual kinkiness isn't a sign of anything bad really. Now if he is choking you and slapping you in a non sexual situation then you would have something to worry about. But if he is unwilling/unable to tone it down for you then you have only two options. Either learn to like it rough or leave him.

    • Nah I like the sex. That's the best part of it. But it's the mental aspect that worries me. If he's sadistic, he might try to hurt me emotionally or something? idk.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 2

  • If you're dumb enough to stay with someone that potentially dangerous to you (both physically, emotionally and psychologically, then you're probably perfect for him. I mean unless he's hella hot, he probably won't find anyone else willing to put up with his insanity. I don't mean to be mean, but frankly there's no better way to put it without writing some long ethical essay and trying to assume that you're worth more than he deserves.

  • Honestly if I were you. His sexual 'fantacies' sound interesting so id test drive before leaving the car :-p

    • But other than that, Yup you should definitly leave him. And it almost sounds like your actually scared, I hope I'm mistakin :/

    • Yeah he's sexually really interesting... and appealing. But yeah, I don't know :/

  • A schizophrenic sadist? Sounds like the next serial killer.

    • Lol Exactly what I was thinking. creepy boyfriend she have found herself.geez :-/

    • I'm not being a smartass either. Tons of serial killers have been schizophrenic like Son of Sam, and sadism plus hearing voices? Jesus get out while you're still alive. Break up over text or something but don't be near him when it happens. Just leave!

    • That's the thing. Half of me is worried about that. Especially since some of the worst serial killers appear normal on the outside (H. H. Holmes is a prime example, and he seduced many women). But another half of me thinks I'm just exaggerating his bad side. I don't know :/

    • Show All

  • Hear my words I am a sadistic man and as u have described ur man i could understand him very well. U shouldn't be thinkin about leavin him. Take this from me sadistic people won't give a shit about people they don actually care for. In ur case u said he's bringin u flowers n takin u to romantic places.. If this has been going for a while u should stick by his side trust me not all would do. He might have called u slut while fuckin u n ejaculated on ur face but if u tell him not to do that anymore he won't tho his pleasure comes from those actions. However his interest in u is way more than the pleasure itself.

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