Sexual Health
+1 y

Gay Urges? What do I do

I'm straight as far as I know, I'm attracted to women, I never think about men, maybe once a month, maybe, if that? But every once in a while I have these urges. I had an experience when I was young. I was at a friend's house for a sleepover when I was in grade 7. He was with 3 other guys I knew from school. They were all talking about their d***s and masturbating. Anyways, there was a dare, to show everyone their d***s. So we all did. I was sort of resistant because I thought it was, well.. gay. But they convinced me that it's normal to talk about this sort of thing and some of them told me they masturbated in front of each other before. So, I pulled my pants down and showed them and they pulled their pants down at the same time. I was surprised to see that I was the biggest. Because I'd never seen another persons penis before. Anyways, then it got sort of weird. We were all only about 12 -13 years old. They were all shocked at how big I was, at that point I was about 7.5 inches long. some of them hadn't hit puberty yet. Then we masturbated in front of each other. Which I was extremely uncomfortable with.. at first. Then one of my friends grabbed me, and I asked him what he was doing. and they were all like, we all give each other a helping hand once in a while. I wasn't comfortable with touching someone else, but I let him because I had never been jerked off before by someone else. So a few minutes later I came on his hand and we went to bed. (we never spoke of this after that) .. although, one of my friends, my best friend at the time was the one who had jerked me off. We had sleepovers like 2 times a week. He asked me the next time, if he could give me a blowjob. I told him yes.. he would do this every time we hungout for the next 3 months. I became addicted to it. We would be watching TV and if his parents weren't home I'd unzip my pants and tell him to suck me. I wasn't attracted to him, I was attracted to getting sucked off. I liked the control, I liked seeing a guy swallow my cum. After 3 months, I felt terrible. I felt like I was doing something wrong, not because I was gay, but because I felt like I wasn't gay and I was only doing this because I didn't have a girlfriend, and girls that age weren't willing to do things like that. So we stopped. We never talked about it again and it's not weird between us. We're not best friends anymore, but still friends. I've had multiple girlfriends since then, I'm attracted to girls through and through. but every once in a while, I want the control again. When I'm with a guy, it feels so empowering. I don't know what it is. What exactly is wrong with me? Why does this happen, is it because of my past? Has it scarred me?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • What happened to you is normal among young kids, particularly at that age. Like you and your friends, few people talk about it. I have encountered books and a lot of writing on this as well as people who have experienced this. In addition, kids as young as kindergarten act out in all kinds of sexual ways with same or opposite genders.

    What happened to you is what falls under the category of sitational gay/sexuality. This is when your sexual preferance is not available but you have opportunity to have sex and you take it. This is what happens in prisons, camps and the like. This happens with all sexualities as well.

    It sounds that you have made an association with the act. Although not scarred for life, sexual acts particularly at a young age can leave an imprint. The feeling of control particularly that someone will do something sexual for you without you having to participate or reciprocate sounds plausible and human enough.

    What to remember: You know who you are attracted to. Give yourself time to reconcile the urges with what you already know. There is a need behind every desire. Psychological associations are not solved by acting on urges. Acting on urges can lead to further confusion and further behaviors that will dictate an unhealthy lifestyle for you. What I mean is if you aren't gay ( I believe you're straight), then indulging in deeper discovery that in a sense wounds others and confuses you further or compensating behaviors with women that won't leave to resolving this urge.

    Mostly just give yourself time and start talking to people you can trust with this and trust to give good advice. Be careful of anyone who says to explore this sexually with women or men. It sounds good but it's a rabbit hole. Even be careful with professionals as humans just love to label others.

  • There's nothing wrong with you & that doesn't make you gay or bisexual. You like the feeling of control that's all. Just like any other guy they like their D*** to be sucked on, it's normal. Like when your friend was doing that to you, you had the power - if you get what I'm saying...It's like how a girl loves to have the guy in control. It hasn't really scarred you. Just try getting a girl partner & see what happens when you two have oral. If it feels different, think about it & try to find out why. That's all I can say now so...hope that helps!

  • I don't think you are gay, I think you just like having control when you are engaging in sexual activities. But there are many girls who like it when the man has control , it is a turn on, so just try spicing up your sex life with your girlfriends, maybe that will take care of the urge.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well first off, that's hot. And also not fair. Ummmm as far as a sorta nerdy guy, I'm gonna have to say that once your d is in the guys mouth, your brain sorta puts all power on the feeling, and you've got no neurons left to think about whether its a guy or gal. So there's a chance you might be bi, but I don't think its unusual to be curious. I mean, the other day, I tasted my own cum. Sounds really wierd, but it was kinda sweet, and I can see how your friend might like the taste of it. So my guesses are

    20% You are gay.

    40% You just like having your d somewhere other than your pants, and your straight.

    50% You are bi.

    Hmmmm I don't think that added up to 100%... But I don't care. You get what I mean. And being gay, bi, pan, or whatever is not something to be ashamed of.

    • has a guy ever sucked yours?

  • I had some similar experiences. I could easily imagine myself in your friend's place, and even if I knew the situation I wouldn't have wanted to stop. In fact, I would still think about it and want to resume even today.

    I wonder if he thinks about it, too.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 7

  • You could be having some bisexual tendencies

  • I don't think it makes you gay or bisexual. When I was in college, for a while neither my buddy or I had a girlfriend. We started giving each other handjobs not because we liked each other but because we both knew what we were missing out on and could help each other out. I even gave him a few blowjobs.

    Today I am not gay, I am married, and don't want to mess around with dudes. Did I enjoy the experience? Absolutely, but I won't repeat it.

    • Wow! I never thought guys who say they're straight do this stuff at all. Was it more enjoyable than being with a woman?

    • lolol

    • @CrissyBlue if you pm me ill tell you my expereicne with this

  • Sounds like you are bisexual to me.

  • Suck his d***.You will soon get over guilt

  • Give in to it!

  • I don't know Because am a Girl... But To Be Honest I Love... I Mean Love Watching Gay SEX Like seriously it feels so good watching 2 Men KISSING and doing NAUGHTY STUFF~✨

  • You’ll be glad to know you’re not the only one who’s done this and turned out to be completely straight. In high school, I used to mess around like that with my guy friends except, in my case, I was the one being used. I didn’t like giving blowjobs or swallowing cum but I did like receiving and bottoming for several of my guy friends. Looking back on it, it was crazy how different things were. Neither of us thought what we were doing was gay and we all knew we liked girls. I think the most intense time was when, in our group, I was bottoming for one guy then another guy filled in after the first guy was done using me. We didn’t use protection or anything when we could’ve easily caught something. I was being taken while on my back in front of the whole group of 4 or 5 of us and didn’t think much about being used. I got cummed inside several times then asked if anyone else wanted a turn and got myself off in front of them.

    Once college started, though, we kind of went our separate ways and stopped hanging out so much. We never brought up those times in our room. I would be mortified now if they told anyone I had done anal with them. Now, all of us are married to women. We see each other only occasionally.

    You can move past this if you want. You don’t have to disclose your past to your partner.

  • Clearly situational gay/sexuality.

    I did the same thing when I was a teen. It was convenient and I liked the orgasms (who doesn't?)
    In the few cases where I returned the favor it was because I thought I had to, fair is fair...

    But I don't think I could do it today. I just don't find any of my friends to be attractive.

    • did your friends enjoy sucking you? how did it even get started?

  • It's perfectly normal. Boys that age are always experimenting like that.

    • I'm not! Am I'm gay! No fair!

  • Treat it just like any other temptation to drugs.

    People were supporting drug addiction for a time too! (Freud cocain )

    read "negative effects of homosexuality "

    at frc dot org

  • You could be attracted to the sexual act, but I have a question. Don't you think you are bi and you just won't admit to it? I mean do you even think you could stop doing this is you were ever married?

  • Try having a submissive partner or one who doubles as both submissive and dominating. If you are able to dominate a girl who may dominate you in other aspects or is just a dominating character I think you'll feel like you have power.

  • How can you claim you're straight with a straight face?

    You're obviously bisexual at the very least. You're just in denial about it.

    Ask someone who is actually straight, and they'll tell you that they don't have the urge to have a guy suck them off every month or so.

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