Sexual Health
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My boyfriend told his mom were having sex?

so my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. His mom gets condoms for free and she told him to ask her if he ever needs them. Well he had some but now he's out and he asked her. I feel incredibly embarrassed simply because that is OUR responsibility, not hers. Condoms are not very expensive and it bothers me that he didn't just go out and get them himself. I know she said to ask him but still, no parent wants to have their kid verify that they are having sex, am I wrong? I'm on the pill (but using a condom is important to me and I refuse to do it without one) and I got on it by myself. My mom, although she asked if I needed it, did not help me get on it. As college students it just seems immature (and frankly embarrassing) asking for forms of birth control from our parents. Maybe this is immature of me to be embarrassed by that but I feel like if a parent doesn't have to know, then why make them feel uncomfortable and disappointed and openly admit to having sex? I feel like I disrespected his parents and that their perspective of me has now changed. I don't think I can look them in the eye again knowing that they know. I was brought up differently and sex was not a very comfortable topic in my family (neither with my parents nor my siblings) I don't know what to do, or how to feel about this...
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Most Helpful Girls

  • She already knows.

    Parents aren't stupid - they were young once too - they got up to this stuff. And she's probably ridiculously happy that he felt comfortable enough to go to her, and that he's being responsible.

    There's nothing to be embarrassed about - she probably already assumed you two were having sex seen as she asked in the first place. There's no reason for his mum to feel uncomfortable or disappointed. There's nothing uncomfortable or disappointing about this situation really.

    • Thank you for your response! I think because I was pretty much raised to not discuss it that its just weird for me to adjust to how comfortable he is telling his parents. I know they probably knew before he said that, and my parents probably know but I think my embarrassment is just coming from how I was raised differently, you know?

    • No, I can definitely understand why you think it's ... awkward or something. But I think it's something you should be angry/disappointed in your boyfriend for doing, and I definitely don't think you should feel the need to act any differently around them. As long as he's not going and telling YOUR parents (who I assume know too anyway) then I don't see it as a problem at all - just something you need to adjust to.

  • I think it would be harder for my mom to hear that I'm having sex, although I'm pretty sure she knows and its just not spoken about.

    But guys are different, and its easier for them to accept that their son is a 'man' than a girl's parents who are finding out that their little princess lost their innocence.

    • Thank you, I'm glad someone actually sees why I am struggling with this! Accusing me of not being mature enough to have sex because I don't want to talk to his parents about it (like some of the other answers said/implied) does not reflect my maturity it reflects how I was raised. My sister is 25 and engaged and she wouldn't even dream about talking to family about this which is how I am too. I definitely feel that pressure as a female to be perceived as innocent. Thank you for your response!

  • everyone will have sex at some point in their life. you are an adult women so there's no need to be embarrased about it. I told my mom when I started having sex. id rather her find out from me than others. hiding stuff never solves anything

    • Great answer

Most Helpful Guys

  • My parents never gave a sh*t if I was having sex. We talked about it as a matter of fact.

    I do think it's just immaturity and a little prudishness on your part.

    I doubt his parents have any embarassment or shame about the subject. You seem to be projecting a lot.

  • Dunno what you're talking about - condoms ARE expensive... $5 for 3? Wait till you have to start paying bills, and then see how un-expensive they really are

    • at planned parenthood they are practically free..

    • Oh I wouldn't know I never really use them :P I know at drugstores and gas stations they're outrageously expensive

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If you're mature enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to admit it. I think you're being a bit rediculous to be honest. Free condoms are free condoms.

  • If condoms are the responsibility of you and your boyfriend, then why have you not been buying them to be sure you have them available?

    If you feel you can't look his parents in the eye, then maybe you should consider whether you should have been having sex or not. Doesn't sound like you are really ready.

    • She has been paying for "the pill". The condoms should be his responsibility. If she were talking about sex with someone she just started with, then she should have a condom or two then, but in an established relationship where she is paying for the pill? Get real.

    • Thank you "Red Arrow" for actually reading and understanding my question. I do have condoms incase of emergency but only four, assuming he would go get more on his own considering I cover the payments on the pill. I don't think you (anon.) have a right to judge whether or not I'm "ready" for sex based on me wanting to keep his parents out of our sex life.

    • I you keep four around for emergencies, that's pretty responsible. I have to assume he figured why pay for them if you can get them for free. Apparently he isn't embarassed if his mom knows. You shouldn't be either. Eventually couples know that everyone they know is going to assume they are having sex. That's the case with his parents too. So I'm not sure why you would be embarassed. At some point parents will think it is weird if they think you aren't having sex!

  • dont worries, she already knows... don't be surprise if she wants to give you some advice about pleasing his son... lol... enjoy =)

  • Let me start by saying everyone has sex. If you think you're mature enough to have it, you should be mature enough to admit it [not flaunt it about, just admit it]. If his mom is so open about it with him there's no way it'd make her uncomfortable. And chances are, she already knows anyway.

    You've been dating for 5 months, not 2 days, so I don't see how she'd think you're 'easy' or something. And besides, free condoms are awesome!

    • Not "everyone" is having sex! And one does not have to tell anyone else about it to be mature. And all this talk of open admitting from an "Anonymous User"! Yeah, right!

    • Wow you didn't understand a damn thing out of what I said, and I'm not sure I'm able to pick my words any better than that so I'm just hoping this reply is satisfying: "Yep."

    • Free condoms are just as "awesome" when they come from planned parenthood. Me wanting to keep his parents out of our sex life is does not mean I'm not mature enough to have sex, it means that I was raised a little more conservatively then you when it comes to sex. My parents could sure as hell do without any visuals of me having sex, so naturally I feel uncomfortable putting his parents in the position of knowing anything about our sex life.

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