Girls, would you consider it cheating?

My boyfriend ( we were together for 4 years ) get blowjob from other girl, he didn't even tell me, I became to know accidentally .

I left him because I consider it to be cheating.

But he calls me, send me flowers,.. he says that he's unhappy without me ..

He says that he didn't want to hurt me, he can't explain why he did this .

1.Girls , do you consider it cheating?

2. I'm sure I don't want be with him again , how to tell him to stop calling me and that it's definitely end? it's annoying that he calls even I say no.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not a girl, but yes he cheated. Clearly. I consider that cheating, and I don't need to be a girl for that.. He clearly betrayed you. Entirely, so you were right to leave him.

    As for how you get him to stop, I would suggest telling him to piss off, and if he doesn't meet him in person, maybe with backup, and make a loud and particularly embarrasing scene for him and tell him just how over it is. Make it damned clear that you want him the hell out of your life, kick him in the nuts as hard as you can, and leave.

    Once you've left, block all phone numbers, even the ones loosely related to him. Block all emails. Block all instant messengers. Block all private messages. Block voice mail. Block fax. Block text. Block absolutely fucking everything, and return any mail, gifts and whatever still gets through, and if he ever comes to your home, keep the door shut and call the cops. If he comes to you at work, call security. If he comes to you in public, scream bloody murder and ask for help to get this creep away from you. Make it 100% clear in every possible way that you never ever want to see him ever again.

    Extreme? Whatever works man

    But yeah he betrayed you, and he needs to be gone and forever.

    Good luck.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Hey there

    Well firstly even from a male's perspective yes its cheating.

    Secondly its hard to try to get a man to stop proclaiming his love, how eternally sorry he is, the gifts etc etc etc

    Though the reasons aren't the same I have been on the dumped end and I made all the mistakes that this guy is doing now in the desperate hope that she would come around. In essence all it did was push her further away from me, and made me feel even lousier.

    But anyways, back to your issue.

    I agree with the below answerer. Meet in a public place and set him straight. As being in a public place the last thing anyone wants to do is make a spectacle of themselves. Really explain in the best way you can that what he did in your mind was unacceptable and in this instance, unforgivable. And add to it that by his constant contacting you, he is in effect pushing you further away.

    Might I also add that even though this guy has made a tremendous mistake, remember that you did or may even still love him. Even though you may be furious with him right now, if you act out in anger it shows him that you still have a strong emotion toward him.

    Stop and think about it, there are two finite feelings on opposite ends of the spectrum. Love and hate. You can't have one without the other as they are so closely related. More often than not, you need to have loved something before you can hate it. Its another reason why we can be so hurt and angry about something that a loved one has done to us. Yet if someone with less significance in our lives does the same thing it would not result in the same feeling.

    So to get to my point the very opposite of love or emotion of any kind is indifference. This is where the balancing act in your part comes into play.

    Clearly you do not want this man back in your life romantically or otherwise. So when you meet with him play that delicate game of you at the time hurt me a lot and subsequently that act is unforgivable. I can see that you're hurting and are deeply sorry. But I'm afraid its too late for that.

    But something you need to realize is, the more you contact me; the further you're pushing me away.

    The above is an example of the words you're saying to him at the time of the meeting. However the indifference needs to be conveyed in your tones, mannerisms and diction as you talk. You then need to back this up with body language. In a sense you need to be somewhat detached. Look at your watch on occasion or seem distracted and set in your mind a time limit in which the interaction between he two of you is to be ended.

    The goal here is to let him know that yes, you did at one stage care for him deeply. But things are not like that anymore. You value what you had and its time that you both moved on.

    Try not to be overly cruel, but make sure that your wants and needs at the moment are not including him.

    I wish you all the best

    Mick

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  • Yes, it's cheating. And it's good that you are making him learn that his actions have consequences, and some lines simply can't be crossed without a big price.

    You need to tell him "YOU violated the trust in this relationship by choice. I can never trust you again, so I can never be with you again. You are wasting both our time by continuing to contact me, because I'm never going to change my mind. Hopefully you aren't that selfish and stupid with the next girl you date."

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  • It was cheating from the part where you wrote "blowjob". Everything after that doesn't even matter. There is no question as to whether getting a blowjob is cheating. The reasons do not matter.

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  • Yes its a cheating. But if you still love him wait until the hurts is gone.

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What Girls Said 4

  • 1. Yes, I would consider it cheating. Another woman's mouth been on his cock. What the hell?

    2. See him in person, a semi public place.. Make it short. "It's truly over, I want you out of my life. What you did was unacceptable, it hurts me" - Get up and leave.

    - He probably thinks he still has a chance with you.

    If all fails - Tase him.

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    • yes I will try, thanks;) I said him many times similar words, that he has no chance , I won't never back to him.. but he stil does it, and it's getting really annoying. He even doesn't understand that he hurt me ,he doesn't think that it was really cheating.

    • Cut off all contact with him, change your number if you have too..

      Some guys can be persistent like that. - Some people's definition of cheating differs.

    • Yeah well not here. I think both you and I can agree on this. All three of us.

  • Well we have a former president who would say it isn't cheating, but for me he cheated.

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  • Ofcourse that's cheating! I would call my cell provider and have his number blocked and forget that SOB.

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  • 1.)Yes, that is cheating.

    2.) I'd probably curse him out.

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