Why am I so obsessed with my ex-girlfriend sexually?

loxagos_snake
I know the title might sound heavy, but I couldn't find any better word. I assure you this has nothing to do with the 'bad' kind of obsession that includes stalking and other extreme things. So let me explain. I was with my ex for two years. I love her deeply and I know she does the same, but we had to breakup because of our fights and lack of trust. The thing is, while I was good the first couple of months after breaking up (it's been almost five) now I'm very depressed. What special we shared is that we met in high school -something that makes everything sweeter-, we were each others' first true love, and we were each others' first sexual partner.

In that sector, we had a great chemistry. She knew exactly how to please me and was very open to trying things. I also loved her body and I still find her as attractive as I did back then, if not more. What made it greater for me is that I was a person with low self-esteem, and our sexual adventures and her dedication to me and how she was trying to make me feel like I was the best lover in the world gave me a huge esteem boost. When we broke up, about a month later, we arranged to meet in a small motel and had sex, maybe the best we ever did. And she was very much into it, even doing some things she didn't do when we were together. But when we talked recently, she said she didn't feel comfortable doing this again because it's like 'doing it with a friend.'

This broke my heart. I feel depressed and I don't want to have sex with any other girl than her. Of course I won't tell her that, and we have no contact, besides, I have some dignity. But still, it's eating my heart out, this rejection, and it made my self-esteem plunge down again being turned down by the girl that loved me so much. Plus, the thought of her doing things we did together, now with other guys makes me cry every day. What can I do to get over this?
Why am I so obsessed with my ex-girlfriend sexually?
1
1
Add Opinion