Older man experiences anyone want to share?

Question

I'm dating an older man, I'm 21 and he's 32. I've always wanted to try it. I'm glad to be with him. do I think he's my life mate? not necessarily, though it is early on. older men have always turned me on. the age gap is large, and if I wasn't with him I probably would not date someone that much older again. but I like him a lot, for now I'm going with it and seeing what happens. I do think he is so sexy. he's handsome in general but he's at that age where he isn't boyish but not old looking either. (IMO men's most attractive years are somewhere late 20s-mid 30s). and he is more understanding, mature, treats me like more of a lady, better conversation, knows how to please a woman.on the negative side...people not accepting us, knowing that if we did grow old together, there would be issues down the road (Sex drive, early widow, aging, etc), his age can also be a bit..intimidating because he treats me nicely but in certain ways we are not equals. it works for me but a lot of people would find it old fashioned and not desirable. your own experiences, thoughts, etc? ever been involved with an older man (by older let's make it 10+ years) for a fling, dating, relationships, etc? tell the stories, pros, cons, experiences? what do you prefer?

SaoirseS · Accepted Answer

I've been "dating" a much older man for the past six months. I'll be 19 next month, and he's 64 - retired, widowed, three grown children. He lives an hour from me, but we manage to see each other every couple weeks or so. I've known him through mutual friends for a few years, and he's always been kind, good company, and has had a lot of life experience. He's in good health, stays in good shape, and lives an active life. He's not the first older man I've dated, but by far the oldest.

It's not really complicated at all. I date others closer to my own age, and so does he. We're both realists. We both know he'll eventually leave me a widow. I probably look forward to taking short trips or spending weekends with him more than he does. He doesn't regale me with stories about his late wife (to whom he'd been married over 35 years), or make a big deal about the age difference. He treats me like an equal, despite the age difference.

It's a very relaxing and uncomplicated relationship we have, but it has nothing to do with an attraction to older guys. It's more an attraction to kind, caring people who are enjoyable to be around.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I've never been that into it, though I've tried it out a few times.

A lot of time the guy has a really shallow interest in women in general and just wants a pretty toy to play with. I haven't found them more mature -- actually, it seems like the bigger the age difference, the LESS mature the guy and the less likely he's going to give you an equal partnership. That being said, for guys who want to buy something sexy to wear on their arm and mainly concerned about the bedroom ... they make a good match for young women who want to trade their looks for money and being lavished with presents.

Occasionally, it will just be two people who hit it off and who are of different ages. You can usually tell the difference if the guy ONLY dates younger and younger women, or if he has a set personality and apperance type that he likes and tends to consider anyone who fits these criteria to be dateable.

cun7n1nja · Accepted Answer

I think I'm much more compatible with older men, both in personality and maturity, for the most part. I'm 22 and my boyfriend is almost 32. I haven't experienced anyone else having a problem with our age difference though. Anyone in my life who knows me well probably doesn't think anything of it. Most of my social circle is in their 20s and 30s, so it's no big deal. Even my dad approves, because he knows my level of maturity probably requires someone older than me, and a guy my boyfriend's age is probably closer to being on the same page I am as far as what I want in life and what I'm looking for in a relationship. But my dad doesn't judge, he just cares that I'm happy and being treated with 'the care and respect that I deserve', lol.

joe_soapus · Accepted Answer

I love your question -- very thoughtful.

Obviously I'm not a girl and can't give you a direct answer. But I have been close friends with a couple -- for many years -- who are eleven years apart, with him being the senior. In that relationship she wears the trousers -- and you saying that "in certain ways we are not equals" caught my eye in that context.

I think where there is a significant age difference, there needs to be characteristics in the personalities which makes each person a full partner in the relationship. If one feels "intimidated" by the other, then I think it more likely that the relationship will suffer dysfunction of some kind over the long-run.

But that may be over-thinking it. Anyway, good luck ...

larry69 · Accepted Answer

It is OK for a woman to want an older man...bot PERVERTED for an older man to want a younger woman!

I like younger women and I get all types of stereotypical pervert comments. UNFAIR!

I like women 23 and up.

Also its OK for women to like younger men too!

5 star question!

Stacyzee · Answer

True love sees no age, gender, or color.

If a older man is who captures your heart then go for it.

No matter what you do in life someone will always have an opinion, Live for your life for you and do not worry what others think. If he is treating you right, and genuinely cares for you then continue seeing him.

heatherlu · Answer

When I was 19 I dated a guy who was 30/31 over the period of our dating.

He was young at heart though. I mean, he had a kid, but she didn't live with him full, and I never met her - we weren't together for all that long in the end. He had a job and a house; but he wasn't all that grown up. He was a cage fighter, and he hung around with a lot of younger people. So in a lot of aspects the age difference wasn't really there.

The only problem came when he was looking for something more serious sooner than perhaps I was ready for. Not that I wouldn't have you know - got into a potentially long term committed relationship with him, but after a couple of months of only really casually seeing each other - I wasn't ready for that yet; and it was definitely what he wanted at the time.

I'm not saying it CAN'T work - just that you both have to want the same things in a similar time frame; which with age gaps can be difficult.

HereForTheDay · Answer

Well, I dated a woman in her 20's when I was in my late 40's. It was great in the beginning but I think the difference in our stage of life made it impossible as time went on.

taster · Answer

I've fallen..and I can't reach my beer...):

Anonymous · Answer

dont do it! I've been there and did that and older guys are in different places in life than you. find a guy your own age. you will still be young and he will get old.

Anonymous · Answer

are you the same one who has posted questions about how great older men are about 10 times? lol

Older man experiences anyone want to share?

Most Helpful Girls

Most Helpful Guys

Related Questions

What Girls & Guys Said

Latest Questions