He dumped me after bad sex and I still want him back?

YuriYuri
We are classmates come from 2 countries and join the same department in university in a third country. He is American and I'm an Asian girl

We had been dating for 2 months and we were official with our relationship. All our classmates and friends knew that we were together. He did care a lot about my life, my day, my family and even some stuff of my close friends. We enjoyed spending time together, sometimes we could not hang out, we would talk on Skype until the 3 or 4AM, shared all things. I used to think that we were not only a couple but also good friends. He made me trust him totally. I came over his house sometimes to play game, drank something and talked but we did not have sex.

Some weeks ago, we spent a Saturday night together with having dinner with classmates, went to a lounge with cocktail, played game and ended up having sex that night. We were a little drunk at that time. That was the first time I had sex, even I'm a 24 year old girl. I was crying...I was so nervous at that time and so on, maybe because I'm an Asian girl. In the next day, he still seemed happy with me; we spent time to go out having lunch, and watched a movie on a couch. Then, he wanted to have sex again, but I was not confident to have sex in light of day, I was so shy, I acted like a kid, and seemed very uncomfortable. He stopped, and also felt so uncomfortable with my reaction. He took me back home, and said that we would talk on Skype tonight, and still hugged me

However, since that time, he was reluctant to talk to me, I was so worried, and I asked him. He said that he felt guilty like he forced me or pressured me to do something I did not want to. And I acted like a very little young girl, so shy and awkward for a long time. He said that maybe we should take time to have sex again.

After that, I felt he didn't want to spend time with me..I kept asking, I felt everything changed after I took a big step with him. He said that he could not control his feelings; maybe we should wait and see for a while.

I did a very big mistake after that. I lost my virginity for him, and I'm an Asian, I was so depressed. I drank a lot, got drunk, and I called him (so stupid :(( ), he worried at that time, called me many times but I didn't answer. He called me until 6AM, when I got home, he was very upset and he wanted to end our relationship afterward

I think I did some stupid things which made him far away from me. Some first days, he said that he just felt uncomfortable because I looked very uncomfortable. Maybe we should not have done of that big step. And I kept asking, kept saying that I felt he was changing right after our first sex

Now, we broke up, and I still to see him because we go to the same school. It seems he tried to avoid my eyes...I don't think he is a bad guy, I don't want to think I was used. I really want to get him back, what should I do after I did a lot of mistakes like that? He said that he doesn't want to make me become a more mature person right now

He dumped me after bad sex and I still want him back?
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