Just gave my boyfriend a blow job. For the first time ever. I'm confused ...

[Anonymous]

And I don't know what to think. I was sexually abused as a kid and it takes me a while to be comfortable with anything sexual. But it's his birthday and we've been together for 8 months. I'm sure I only did it for less than a minute but it's so intimidating for me. I don't know why it freaks me out either. I was shaking and just had no idea what I was doing. Anyways, I guess my question is; what do you girls think about giving blow jobs? What do you reckoned I do technique wise? More detail the better? And how was your first time giving head? Guys can answer too.

[Frostie]

I personally wouldn't do it. Regarding your past, you need to come to terms with it before you can move on to that, at least that is what I would personally do. Don't force yourself to do things that bother you. I wouldn't worry about the 'technique'. Unless you plan on doing it for many other guys, I'd say just find the guy who you know will wait to prove he won't leave you. Sex is your choice, not trying to lecture, but I personally don't believe in that, I'm not christian though or near religious, its more just my own belief.

[Asker]

Thanks, and I agree with what you're saying. He is a great guy and doesn't care either way, and I am getting more comfortable but I don't want to be terrified my entire life. It just feels like if I don't push myself, I'll never get there.

[Frostie]

True, I see what you mean by facing your fears. But there are other elements to consider, like how people view you-if you care about that- how you view yourself. Having control of yourself emotionally and physically. That you can survive without having to rely on them.. at least that is just how I am. Well, I hope that is true, as I don't know him well enough to say one way or the other.

[Asker]

I'm far from being an innocent little virgin haha. We have sex all the time and I completely trust him. Oral sex just freaks me out for some reason. I'm not worried about what others will think. I've had four boyfriends in the past and it's assumed I did something with them- I'm happy with the choices I've made because I love him and can see myself being with him or a very long time.

[Frostie]

If only you knew how many people say this: "I can see myself being with him for a very long time.". I said that with all my ex's xD, then I saw their other side and ran away from those sinking ships. Well, not sure why people make a virgin out to be 'innocent'. or a person who isn't as 'impure or dirty'. Too much black and white thinking meh. Best of luck with whatever you do. Just hope you can smile if a guy asks how many guys you slept with. Regret or not, image is effected.

[Asker]

Well I can't regret one haha. Especially if it's great sex. And I guess it's true that everyone thinks that.

[Frostie]

yep. My ex slept with 20 dudes. Lol I'm not the type that accepts that lol. I don't know many guys that do, unless they're just in it for the fun xD. Well I came to my own realization on some things, thanks for this XD.

[laidbackkev01]

Well if you want to do that for him explain your situation and tell him he has to give you time, be understanding and he has to work with you. Ask him to tell you what he likes and doesn't. God luck.

[tinahot22]

My first time was both intimidating and sacry. I had no experience with a guy. I probably wasn't any good at it. It was sloppy for me. If you are uncomfortable with it, tell him. It was a while before I tried it again. I talked about it with one of my best girlfriends. She was very understanding and gave my some tips about ways I could overcome my fears.

[Asker]

Good advice. Thank you.

[Iheartdogs20]

Save it for marriage sista !

[Asker]

I'm a little too late for that. Hahaha I'm far from being a virgin. Just haven't preformed oral sex on him yet.