Should I fulfill my girlfriend's fantasy?

[Anonymous]

Bottom Line there are parts of my girlfriends fantasy that make me a little uneasy. We have been dating for about 9 months and recently my girlfriend brought up the topic of fantasies. She was a little nervous about explaining what her's was so I told her to just write it out, sort of like a story and give it to me. After reading it, I was surprised by the level of detail and the role she wanted me to play. There are three main things that make me a little uneasy. The first two are not a huge deal to me but the third freaks me out. 1) Unprotected sex (we've both been tested and she is on BC) 2) She wants me to surprise her and be very rough/aggressive (Not a big stretch because I am the dominant one already) 3) She wants me to come insider her, several times in the story. (WTF, I'm not looking to have kids. This part totally has me freaked out) I'm not sure what to tell her, I really lover her so I'd like to be able to fulfill her fantasies. That is sort of my responsibility as her lover but this just is not something I feel comfortable with. Any advice would be great, men and women.

[goflipaburger]

If she's taking birth control properly, there should be no problem.

If you are still uncomfortable, maybe talk to her about her getting an IUD. It is proven to prevent pregnancies a million times better than birth control and can have the hormones she might be using birth control for. BUT it is mad expensive.

With my [sh*tty] health insurance, its $800 for the installation and I think $200 for the consultation and something else.. and then a booking fee of sorts. But it lasts for 3 years, largely without any issues... so its a lot cheaper than the type of birth control pills that work the best ($75-90 a month and opposed to about $1000 per 3 years).

My sisters health insurance (she lives in Boston) it basically pays for everything, there is just a $200 installation fee and a doctor fee of like $80.

I would talk to her about it, tell her you've heard great things about it (because IUD's are the best for everything right now). With fear of unexpected pregnancy out of the way, you should be in the clear to do as you please :)

[CrystalMinds]

The first and second one are kinda in the same line here. When you both are safe, she is on BC and if she takes her pill the correct time, chances are slim she'll get pregnant. If she's not on other medication or isn't ill, the pill works fine.

I think a lot of girls have this fantasy to get dominated and to be treated roughly during sex, you can ask her what she means with that or how she sees that.

If you don't wanna do something, tell her. You can talk about it, she can tell you her reasons and you can tell her yours. She can't force you and she has to respect your opinion and boundaries.

Maybe you can take it step by step? Just see what's nice for you too and what doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Tell her very nicely that you love her and want to make her happy, but that you didn't want to do anything you weren't entirely comfortable with. Be honest but respectful and loving. If she gets mad or dumps you or something (over sex) then she isn't the one for you.

[Quantumus]

My girlfriend surprised me by asking for a bit of 'ravishment' play with her (wanting it to seem like rape, or very, very rough sex with a struggle), and I found a lot of support online by doing a quick search. It's not something that gets me off, particularly, but once you practice a bit, you realize how fun it is to have a bit of a wrestle to finally be a bit more dominant than you usually are, and the payoff is how much she'll enjoy how rough you're being with her. If you put yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit, at least this portion of her fantasy will become fun for you too.

As for the internal ejaculation, your girlfriend is already on BC, so the chances of her getting pregnant from your ejaculation inside of her is incredibly low. I'd say that it's low enough to warrant at least trying this a couple of times, but if you want more security, then you'll need to add other forms of non-barrier contraception, which will be a bit costly (IUD).

[Asker]

What's a IUD, I'm not too concerned with the cost. It's not going to be like more than 3 grand or so right?

[Courtsrad09]

an iud is a birth control that gets put up inside of you, like mirena, I think its 350? and on the website it says its more than 99% effective so you wouldn't have to worry about having a baby if you come in her if she has this.

[Quantumus]

An IUD is essentially a form of contraception that is placed at the entrance of the uterus, directly behind the cervix. One form is made of copper and its chemical properties (of which I'm not exactly sure how it works) prevent the egg from accepting a sperm cell. With my girlfriend and I, it's worked in our 7 months of non-condom or BC sex. Another form of the IUD delivers a constant stream of hormones and acts the same way as oral contraception.

[Quantumus]

It's not more than $300 dollars, I think, for most IUDs, but it does need to be inserted (which I've heard is unpleasant). After it's inserted, it's unnoticeable. My girlfriend's IUD is copper, and it'll last for around 10 years without having to be removed or replaced. The hormonal ones last for 4 to 5 years, and come along with all the potentially unwanted side effects of regular hormonal birth control. If you use an IUD with oral BC, you will not need to really worry about pregnancy at all.

[7gnat]

Was this fantasy written on a sticky note? And why is she even on birth control if you are using condoms and you are both clean of stds? Please update us all with the fantasy because I feel fooled-just like when I see some amazing title on YouTube and it turns out to be as bad as this question.

[Asker]

Add me as a friend and I'll send you the run down. Its longer than 500 characters.

[MrOracle]

If she's on BC, taking it properly (same time every day), and not on antibiotics or other meds that can interfere, then there's really no issue with unprotected sex. That's what BC is specifically FOR.

[angiemel]

Stuff like that can always fail though. My friend recently found out she was pregnant. She had an intrauterine device and on pills and the idiot wasn't wearing condoms. Voila baby. Best choice: don't risk it.

[MrOracle]

Most IUDs aren't supposed to be mixed with BC pills, so maybe that was the problem. I'm 42 and have yet to father a child (confirmed to be fertile) with girls only taking BC pills or depo. I think you do more harm than good by trying to double-up on BC (other than condoms, of course).

[7gnat]

lol who mixes different birth controls? hahahaha

[7gnat]

Oh and any doctor that would put her on both birth controls could easily be sued for malpractice.

[justsomedude39093]

lol! Doesn't sound like much of a fantasy. Needs to be more imaginative. Sounds like plain old sex to me. No whips, chains, toys, swings, special positions or kinks.

I say you should take the fantasy further.

[c7777]

i was going to say the same thing... she definitely holding other things back then just that.

[Asker]

There's a bit of kink to it, I'm supposed to play the role of a robber that decides to force himself on her. I don't want to say it's like a rape scenario but it seems close.

[justsomedude39093]

Make sure you reeeeeeeally trust her. Women have been known to send men to prison for years after pulling a stunt like that. Some women actually tell men to be rough, come inside them and then call the police just to cause trouble. They don't even do it for a specific purpose. They just do it to f*** sh*t up. So... If you really trust her... Go for it. It sounds like it would be a lot of fun. Does she want you to give her rough oral? I've done it with some women, and it's to die for.

[Asker]

There's no oral in the story, and I do trust her. I seriously doubt she's trying to send me to prison, hell I have a written copy of what she wants me to do. Thanks for the advice though, it's good to be cautious.

[justsomedude39093]

Awesome. It's good to see trust. It makes the world go round.

[kheserthorpe]

Written instructions would probably help if arrested hahaha

[kheserthorpe]

Sounds fun.

Bc is much more reliable than condoms.

If she getting off on that I suspect she'd like it if you talked about getting her pregnant during the scene.

[Gonetowardthewind]

Why are you scared of number 3? You both are tested cleanly and she's on birth control. Take plan B in the morning as well.

[normalice]

this is, like, such a non-fantasy. I clicked on this question expecting something like "she wants to nail me face-down to a cross and sodomize me with a strap-on".

But she wants rough sex with you comming inside her a few times, and she's on birth control? That's not a fantasy - that's the way 80% of sex is done these days. What's the problem?

[taster]

Heh Heh..Totally Agreed^

[Hal2002]

Talk to her about your concerns, make sure she is on birth control. Things are a lot safer on the issue of pregnancy now, can your say morning after pill.

[7gnat]

He already said she is om birth control. Not sure what his issue is.

[lala-193]

if she's on because cumming inside her shouldn't get her pregnant

[lala-193]

for some reason my comp changed because to because, I meant to say if she's on because she shouldn't get pregers

[lala-193]

my comp did it again, I meant birth control

[larry69]

I would fulfill the fantasies

[Anonymous]

For the last one tell her to take a plan B in the morning

[TheLovelyGlitterbug]

a stroke of genius right there

[Opinion Owner]

idk if that's sarcasm or not lol