Sexual Health
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Why should I save myself for marriage when most girls and most women won't/never?

wait till marriage if not some of girls and some of women won't/never wait till marriage? This question fellow GAG members sometimes I ask myself so please bear with me and be honest and this question is not bashing women and girls and this question is out of curiosity and this question is not meant to offend anyone thanks. I'm sorry asking this but why should I save myself for marriage when most girls and most women won't/never if not some of girls and some of women won't/never wait till marriage? I mean what's the point if you wait women and girls throw away their virginity to those bastards who never care about her and he never respects her she loves that and she thinks she is so in love with the bastard and she thinks she can change him into the guy she wants him to be. It's making me so sick I want to throw up and they always want guys with experience so I don't know yet but I'm considering in hiring a escort I know it's sad but sometimes I feel like I'm too ugly,I'm too nice of a guy for women to date and I'm too skinny because of my high metabolism yep I'm super skinny very thin because of my metabolism. I'm not buffed aka no strong muscles since they love being protected by their man and no I don't have a six pac abs and yes I will admit it sometimes I feel sad or feel like a loser I sometimes I wish I wasn't a nice guy and be a jerk so they love me and want me but I'm not and I admit I use to be a bad kid not anymore. If I have to be bad again like when I was a kid then I don't know sorry for the rant I was just asking myself at times why should I save myself for marriage when most girls and most women won't/never wait till marriage if not some of girls and some of women won't/never wait till marriage? If you won't then please tell me why should I and why should I don't hire escorts when you girls and you women and if not some of you girls and some of you women have sex with bad boys and never save your virginity for the nice guys like me and have babies by the arrogant jerks,a**holes aka the douchebags. And yes one of my options is just use escorts and no I'm not saying I will I'm saying it's a maybe and I'm might consider it and so far it's true us nice guys,geeks,nerds and good guys like me finish last it's so true. No I'm not complaining I'm asking out curiosity why should I when you ladies never and if not some of you ladies never wait anyway feel free to answer it and sorry for asking I was curios and I ask myself this question :).
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Most Helpful Girls

  • If saving yourself for mariage is important to you, do it. If it's not important to you, don't do it. Simple as that :) You don't have to base your actions on what you think everyone else is supposedly doing.

    I do think you're making some sweeping generalizations that probably aren't true though. not every guy that has sex is a jerk, not all women on this site have had sex, and not all "nice guys" are virgins. I personally am really awkward, shy, nerdy and pretty average as far as physical appearance goes, and I lost my virginity to my crazy tuba playing computer science major boyfriend. I never really said to myself "i'm going to have sex before I'm married" or "I'm going to wait til marriage"... I it just sort of happened and I don't regret it. Everyone gets wrapped up on what they should or shouldn't be doing and making all these plans about when they're going to have sex without even having a boyfriend or girlfriend that they could potentially be sleeping with. sex shouldn't be the end goal of a relationship... if it is, you might as well just hire that escort because that kind of attitude is not going to attract any girl, whether you have sex with her or not.

  • First, I want to point out that not all girls "throw away their virginity to those bastards who never care about her and never respect her, blah blah blah". Many women put a lot of thought behind losing their virginity/who they lose their virginity to. Many lose their virginity to good guys, who genuinely care about them and treat them with love and respect.

    The "woe is me, I'm a nice guy and girls only like jerks" attitude and the need to demonize guys who have had relationships and/or sex before is annoying. The fact is that many nice/good guys DO get girlfriends and sex, and there are lots of girls who aren't interested in jerks/will only date nice/good guys.

    When it comes to whether or not you want to save virginity for marriage, it's completely up to you. If you want your partner to be a virgin too, then sure, it might be harder to find since a lot of people do have sex before marriage. That said, there still are girls who wait until marriage and girls who would prefer a guy who is doing the same.

  • There are plenty of women that save themselves for marriage. Most of the time, it's people with a deep religious background/preference. If you're waiting for a reason as such for yourself, you need to look at the women you're chasing after. A lot of the women who date the jerks will not have the same values as you, or a grounded religious lifestyle, which might not even be compatible with you.

    Unfortunately without more info on your lifestyle, beliefs, where you've tried finding women etc. It's hard to give a good insight on where your problem lies. As much as I try not to, I'm assuming a lot of things from the virginity until marriage preference you gave, but I'll admit that there's a good chance I'm wrong.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, waiting until marriage isn't really expected anymore. We live in a society that accepts and embraces premarital sex (largely because there isn't really anything wrong with it!). The general attitude towards sex has evolved.

    Most people who are waiting now are doing it for personal reasons. So it's not a matter of "Why should you". No one's telling you you should.

    And nice guys don't finish last! Women don't just look at a jerk and say "That guys a jerk, I want to f*ck him!" Usually the assholish tendencies kick in after the relationship has started.

    • but they always lust after jerks when he leaves she crys to the nice guy who she rejected guess what happen next yep they go back for more like a little puppy or go after another guy treat her bad cry and cry go back for more then she wants nice guy when she hits 35 years old and older by then she wants nice guys for her child not for love for money

    • That seems like a very specialized situation. It isn't really applicable in all (or even most) cases. Women don't just look at whether a guy is nice or not. They want someone confident, interesting, and not physically unappealing to them. Someone that they click with. Being nice IS a good thing, it's just not enough to get you quite there. I'd say that you should take "TheDigitalSaint's" advice. You say that you're really thin. That's something that can be changed.

    • If you've been rejected by a girl, it's definitely wasn't because you were nice. You probably didn't fit any of the other criteria. You should focus on self improvement to increase your chances with the ladies. Best of luck to you in your quest to find love!

  • You should be focusing on improving yourself instead seeking validation from women. As a fellow guy that was born skinny, trust me when I say you get an amazing feeling when you put on some muscle when it comes to boosting your confidence. You need to EAT A LOT more than you currently are and start working out. Work on YOU, not finding/sleeping with girls. That is an empty path to think the girl will fulfill an emptiness in your life. You make yourself a better person and the girls will come to you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

11 5

  • Why should you wait when girls don't? Because it's what you feel is right. Waiting shouldn't be about the other person or about being fair. It's what's right for you and if you feel that it's a gift you want to save for your future wife.

    Follow your own moral lines, don't do something because women are terrible 'hos blah blah. Same goes with the escort thing, if you think you can live with it and have absolutely no problems with it - go for it. But don't do it out of spite, because you're mad girls aren't waiting.

  • I may be back later to give a full comment, but am unable to right now.

    To summarize: Honor your own beliefs, and do not let society pressure you. Be aware of the type of girl who is marriage material, and pursue her. The flirty blond rubbing up against men at a club is not who you should go after.

    "nice guys,geeks,nerds and good guys like me finish last it's so true."

    That stood at at the bottom... geek or not, girls are attracted to self-confident men. The display that "bad boy" types show is appealing to many women because of his attitude, and not necessarily anything else.

    I know many "geeky" guys with fantastic girlfriends - ones with confidence, and even ones who are quiet and a bit less outgoing.

    By the way... I, a female in every sense, am waiting.

    Take a peak at: link

  • It's a personal choice one makes to wait until marriage to have sex and it should have anything to do with what everyone seems to be doing. My decision to wait was personal and is deeper than the religious convictions that I have.

  • I think waiting til marriage is rather dumb. There are still people who do it, though, and part of making that choice should be realizing the rarity of finding someone else with the same values.

  • I think it is really great that you are saving yourself for marriage and I feel like you should keep trying to! I know I would appreciate that myself because I am saving myself for marriage as well.

  • I see... you are suffering of a case of being a little bitch, my professional recommendation is a dose of man the f*** up

    If you want to wait, wait, but don't push your expectations on the entirety of the other gender that was your choice and what they choose to do individually is none of your f***ing business

    furthermore yes there are still girl that wait they just are rare you know like its rare for guys to wait

    finally if that dude with no arms and legs that was a motivational speaker could find a beautiful wife to love him shut the hell up about your problems your pessimism is probably what pushes girls away not your looks

  • Your right. There is no reason what so ever you need to wait until marriage!

  • Do whatever you want since "we never" wait.

  • It's a personal decision, you shouldn't let society or other people influence you. This is a personal choice that you make for your self, I personally don't tell a lot of people that I am because I don't really care what people think, if they want to know ill tell them, I'm proud of my choice and I know it's going to be worth the wait!

  • part of your problem is in thinking virginity is something special and sacred. it's not. virginity is a disease and you should look for a cure asap.

    Trust me dude once you get laid you won't think about all this nonsense anymore.

    Read about virginity on wikipedia. its origins are in bs religions and douche bag men wanting to marry a "pure" girl.

  • "I'm too nice of a guy for women to date" That phrase is an automatic red flag to me. Your post reeks of entitlement. If you don't want to wait until marriage, don't, but if you can't find someone willing to have sex with you that isn't anybody else's fault. Women don't owe you sex or their virginity. Maybe try dialing it back a little and getting to know some women as people instead of a means to an end.

  • I also think that you should start working out and trying to improve your confidence. I used to be really skinny as well, but, I drastically changed my appearance because my brother motivated me to work out and now i see more positive responses from girls. Also, are you honestly a nice guy? Or only to hot girls?

  • I hope this helps your decision making process. I am NOT making any judgement, just laying out facts from studies.

    The reason why you shouldn't sleep with a bunch of guy before your marriage is simple. It's called the "Pair Bond" ability. this is a mental ability that affects both men and women, but affects women on a stronger level that effects how their future relationships will work out.

    The basic principle is this: when you enter into a sexual relationship with someone, you emotionally and mentally bond yourself to that person. Once that relationship is over, that part of you that you bonded with that person can no longer be bonded to anyone else.

    Thus, you are left with less of your emotional and mental self to bond with the next person. For women, this is involuntary, whereas for men, it's voluntary. This is because women cannot ignore their emotional self, but men can. So every time a woman has a sexual relationship and it ends, she has lost a large portion of her emotional self that she can't put into the next relationship. (we'll just say 50% as an example). So her next relationship has less of her self committed to the relationship and thus is now less important to her than the previous one. AND this happens to each relationship she gets into and out of.

    (when I say relationship it is implied a sexual relationship, whether or not a romantic one is included.)

    So for example: her 1st relationship has 100%, the 2nd one only has 50%, the 3rd will now only have 25%, 4th one will only get 12%, 5th one gets 6%, 6th one is 3%, etc...

    This then makes it easier in each progressive relationship (sexual and romantic) for her to a. walk away from the relationship without trying to work on any issues that arise, b. cheat, c. blame others wholly for any problems and refuse even partial responsibility, d. justify any negative actions for their behavior, (and you can see where this is going). This lack of commitment to the relationship and their partner becomes more extreme with each failed relationship.

    With this downward spiral of dooming relationships (sexual and romantic) there are also many other negative effects:

    The more sexual partners you have, the higher risk there is for negative & long term consequences According to studies, there is a correlation between the amount of sexual partners and the following:

    1. Women Who Have More Non-Marital Sexual Partners Are Less Likely to Have Stable Marriages
    2. More likely to have abortions
    3. More likely to end up as single-mothers
    4. Less overall happiness
    5. More likely to have sever, long-term depressed
    All this is especially the case when someone has started being sexual under the age of 18.

    These are not all of the consequences, just some of the prominent ones.

    Source: http:// s3. amazonaws. com/thf_media/2003/pdf/Bookofcharts. pdf
    (remove the space after "http://")

    Good luck with your decisions, and I hope the best for you.

  • I am saving myself for marriage.

    Those girls you're talking about don't realize what they're doing because they're mistaking sex for love. And, let's not forget guys push them into doing things.

    • If I do have someone I would never ever push her into something she don't want to do and those guys give us true good men like myself bad names because of them pushing her into sex when some of us never do that I know I won't do that :)

    • Good for you. A decent guy on GaG.

  • i don't believe you should, only because I don't agree with it. but if you make your decisions about your own morality solely based on whether or not others are doing the same or something else, then you're a weak person to begin with.

  • good foyou. I respect a man who saves himself for marriage rather than some slut. any girl would marry you. best of luck to you.

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