I feel REALLY insecure about being circumcised...

[Anonymous]

I'm seriously considering being celibate because I feel so bad about it. I hear all these anti-curc arguments and I agree with them..but they make me feel like crap...going on about how bad it is..i agree that it is...but I feel so incomplete and awful about my penis that I don't know if I could ever have a sexual relationship...if I with a girl wouldn't she pity me and think "o, so sad he doesn't feel all the pleasure he should because of his missing nerve endings and insensitivity ...an uncut guy would be able to appreciate sex with me so much more"...i can't get that thought out of my head. and I also feel inferior because every single girl will have intact genitals and I don't... Do I have legitimate concerns or is there some way I need to look at this? I really agree with the anti-circ people but it just gets me that they're talking about how horrible it is to be circumcised and about how we shouldn't do it to our children and I agree...and what of me? if I'm so broken and defected sexually why would any girl wanna have a son with me in the first place?

[brinxster]

I agree that it's a horrible thing to do to someone who is non-consensual to it. However the best thing to do is to direct that energy and be pro-active, fight for human rights of boys to keep their whole body intact so they can have a choice if they want to be intact or cut.

Feeling sad over the realization of what was done to you is a important step in the healing process, just like with an alcoholic, you can't get better if you're in denial, which many cut men are, they stay in denial to protect their mental well being. But realizing it is wrong is a sign of intelligence. But eventually you'll accept what was done and be more pro-active, you can look into foreskin restoration exercises which don't give you back a fully natural foreskin, but will help you feel whole again and increase sexual pleasure, which is a nice incentive for going through this difficult process. I partially restored and the sexual pleasure is already at least 2x better. Granted I know I'll never recover the full 75% that was lost from circumcision, but being able to restore up to 50% definitely helps the healing process, physically and mentally.

[Asker]

fighting for someone else doesn't help me..and there is no "healing" process for me...ill neve rbe whole and all that lef tis for me to find an FGM biitm to date (ive been looking) so that I cna feel equal to her. Also, restoraiton doesn't do sh*t because I'm cocnernd about being equal to women..i feel plenty of pelasure..its feeling inferior that I hate...also...ive tlaked to guys hwo restored and didn't get much out of and turned on the anti-circ movement and felt lied to.

[brinxster]

Well, I don't see why you would turn on the anti-circumcision movement. While agree the term, "foreskin restoration" isn't factual, it's just a phrase to help people understand what it is doing, which is restoring skin over the glans. However, most information I've ever read on it usually always states that it will not restore all the natural pleasure a foreskin provides as it's not a real foreskin. It just helps cut men cope with what was done to them.

[brinxster]

I get where you're coming from though, most guys in the anti-circ movement can certainly relate. It often is very depressing and painful to think about what happened to you and does make you feel like a animal, branded like a cow with a religious mark you can never wash off. I know it may seem pointless, trying to fight for change when it won't give you back what you lost... but if no one ever does fight to change things this will only keep happening and never end.

[brinxster]

But you certainly don't have to be involved in the anti-circ movement if you don't want to be. I think it's good to at least talk with others that understand your situation though a lot more than random people on a website like this. Helps to know you're not alone.

[Asker]

Well it doesn't help me cope//;i tired restoring for month until I found out that women don't view it as the same and would still think of me as sexually less. I was only doing it because I thought id be accepted as an 3equal but I founds I wont. and heosnty I dotn care about what happens to toehr boys I'm already f***ed I don't care about neone else when my life was ruined. there no future happiness for me..i wish I would die young.

[beinghelpful]

All the sh*t you hear about circumcision is stupid. It's a really dumb argument. I've been circumcised since birth, and my sex life is amazing. I have *incredible* sensitivity and it has NEVER been painful. There is NOTHING traumatic about being circumcised. People have been doing it for 1000s of years, and there is NO documentation of "loss of sensitivity" from any of them. That argument comes form people who are opposed to circumcision because they think it is barbaric to snip the bit of skin off an infant's penis. Generally, these are the same people who also think that murdering the entire infant in the womb is NOT barbaric. I don't listen to those idiots. Neither should you.

When adult men choose to get circumcised, it's another story. It can be painful and the scarring can be significant. If you are circumcised already, you're fine. If you aren't, you're still fine. Be happy with the d*** you have. You aren't missing a thing.

[brinxster]

There is documentation by the British Journal of Urology International that it does cause a reduction of feeling up to 75%, not only from the loss of the foreskin itself but that causes the glans to thicken, dry and lose sensitivity as well. If you're never been an intact adult and had sex then you simply don't know and shouldn't say with such certainty that you didn't lose sexual pleasure. If you want one it should be your decision, period.

[selfishstars]

Your feelings are irrational and if they're causing this much of a problem for you, you should seek therapy.

There are millions of men who are circumcised and it doesn't cause any problems with them. They have pleasurable and satisfying sex lives. I don't any girl who "pities" circumcised guys. In fact, because circumcision is so prevalent (at least in North America), they're used to circumcised guys and don't think anything of it; many even prefer guys who are circumcised.

[Asker]

yea but I think if those women knew the alternative they would...

[selfishstars]

Well, I know the alternative, and I don't feel that way. It doesn't matter to me if a guy is circumcised or not. And why does it matter what some women might potentially feel if things were different? Things are the way they are.

[Asker]

well I just don't wanna be pitied or looked down upon or have her think less of me..

[selfishstars]

Your fear about this is completely irrational and disjointed from reality.

[Asker]

so girls don't care about it?

[selfishstars]

No.

[Asker]

why not? I would think it was weord I new a girl wasn't having enough pleasure if I was having sex with her.

[selfishstars]

Personally, I can't even tell the difference.

[Asker]

u mean you don't know if theyre cut or you don't knwo if they feel less pelasure..cuz science says they feel less pleasure that's a fact.

[selfishstars]

Obviously I know that if they're circumcised or not. :P I thought you were saying that the girl would experience less pleasure from it, which isn't the case. As far as the amount of pleasure the guy feels, obviously I can't say that circumcised guys feel less or equal pleasure to uncircumcised guys, all the circumcised guys I know find sex very pleasurable and fun and have lots of orgasms. At least from my point of view, uncircumcised don't react any differently from circumcised guys

[selfishstars]

to sex. They all have a good time, find it really pleasurable, orgasm, etc.

[Asker]

but some of them are incomplete doesn't that make you want ot pity them..be honest.

[selfishstars]

How are they "incomplete"? And no, it doesn't make me pity them.

[Asker]

they don't have the foreksin which contians more nerve endings than any othe rolace on the male body...and if they were cut a birth like most are...their head has bee exposed for eyars and has dried and and overt time looses half of its sensitivity

[selfishstars]

My partner had surgery on his hip and no longer has any feeling in that area. When I touch him there (which I do often), he doesn't feel any pleasure from my touch. I don't see him as incomplete because he's missing nerve endings from that part of his body. He's still very much a complete person. Even if he lost an entire leg, I'd still see him as a complete person. All you're talking about is missing a little piece of a skin and some nerve endings. He's still complete. Arguably, he might

[selfishstars]

experience more pleasure if hadn't been circumcised, but he still feels a GREAT amount of pleasure (and wouldn't know the difference unless he was circumcised later in life). My partner is circumcised and sex can still leave him in a quivering mess because it felt SO AMAZING to him. There are times when he becomes too sensitive and I have to back off a bit from direct stimulation. Trust me, there are still enough nerve endings there for sex to be extremely pleasurable.

[Asker]

can you hoenstly tell me you don't pity him or think of yourself as better in anyway though?

[selfishstars]

YES. I honestly don't pity him or think of myself as better in anyway. I see absolutely no reason to pity him. The idea that there's some reason to pity him about this has never even crossed my mind.

[Asker]

okay...thanks..hopefully I cna find someone who won't pity me.

[freewill10]

R you nuts?, you feel more because your circumcised. Because you can have more friction. And women...I liked it more when my man has had the procedure. it looks better, it's cleaner and it feels better. I had both.

[Asker]

no I feel LESS because I'm circ

[brinxster]

That's absolutely false. Without a foreskin the glans dry, thicken and desensitize. According to the British Journal of Urology International, circumcision reduces sexual pleasure in males up to 75% and increases their risk of erectile dysfunction fourfold. I know you were trying to make him feel better but you don't do it with lies.

[helpha]

You shouldn't feel insecure about your penis.

You should be able to look down at it and say "You make girls feel good." >:)

[Asker]

i know that its incomplete though and an important part of it is missing :(

[ak1981]

'this key open any wet padlock.

[jeremy20]

What you're saying doesn't make sense. I think you have a psychological problem about being insecure with yourself.

I can't comprehend what the big deal is...millions of other guys are just like you, only theyre not insecure about it.

Circumcision originally started out as a religious practice but has become a practice of Western society, mostly because of Christianity and Judaism...its gone from religious to secular. Point being, its normal. Accept it because most girls will prefer circumcised anyway.

[freewill10]

you have bad ocd. that's the problem, not your penis. Stop with your craziness

[Asker]

i try and hav ebeen to therapy and its gotten better but I still have issue swith it..but circ still doe sdamage no matter what.

[kheserthorpe]

Most north American women prefer it. Not sure where you live.

I got circumcised last year.

There are advantages and disadvantages either way. I prefer circumcised. Maybe you would have preferred uncut, but as I said, there are definite advantages to both.

[DandelionGirl]

Broken and defected? Are you being for real here? Being circumcised is okay...theres nothing wrong with that, I think you're over thinking this WAYYYY too much.

[Asker]

well acgually it does A LOT of damage...the forskin has the alrget concentration of nerve endings in the male body...and that's right out the window...plus...after its removed the head is expsoed to the air and rubbing agianst your udnerwear for your whole life and over time that desentizies it.

[beinghelpful]

WTF? That is the stupidest sh*t I ever heard. That is absolutely not true. Maybe YOUR d*** is broken because you have a bad d***. Mine is circumcised and I have NEVER had any "underwear problems". Besides, the nerve endings you need to worry about are in the GLANS, not the foreskin. Assuming they did the procedure right, you should still have your glans. Circumcision does NOT do damage at all. You need to listen to people who know what they are talking about.

[Asker]

u don't know wurt your talking about the gland is suppsed to internal..circ makes in external and us underwear problems because your d*** touches your udnerwear...that in itself causes damage because of how sensitive of an organ it is.

[ImperfectDVM]

Why wouldn't she want kids with you?

Circumcision is probably better, and cleaner.

Were you circumcised as a baby, if so, there is nothing you can do about it now.

[Asker]

i kno that...there is forekin restoraiton but it won't get back all the sensitivity...and I don't know if she wuld want me...but like I don't want agirl ptiying me or thinking some guy would enjoy her more because he can feel more...and actually the forsekin does, in some womans opions, make sex a lot better...they say circ is uncomfortable and even hurts.

[ImperfectDVM]

Wow, I didn't know. = (

[Asker]

yea so that's kinda why I think I might end up being celibate my whole life.

[ImperfectDVM]

I don't know what to say. Maybe the only thing that would help you understand that it doesn't matter is proof-hard-love making- proof. LOL

[Asker]

i guess so...but would it be bad to ask most girls what they think beforehand?

[ImperfectDVM]

No, I don't think it's bad.

[Asker]

ok.

[CuriousEddie]

I'd say this is a psychological problem, not a physical one.

[Andrew74]

lol what? uncircumcised d***s look gross. be proud circumcision looks so much better no homo.

[cyrus7]

you won't be having sex anytime soon so it's ok

[Anonymous]

You again, just stop being a p**** about everything and get over it.

[Anonymous]

how many posts are you going to make about this?

[Anonymous]

your probably an uncircumcised guy trying to make yourself feel better by downplaying circumcised penises (which are awesome and just as desirable if not more so) I refuse to believe that any grown man is so neurotic about something like this, unless you have psychological problems.

Oh boo hoo the other boys have extra skin on their penis, lol grow up and get over it, you sound like a whining 13 year old girl whose bitter because she hasn't grown breasts yet.

[Lulu567]

Calm down. You don't need to be so mean.

[Opinion Owner]

his question insults my intelligence, I'm not being mean, sometimes you have to be harsh to get your point across and show people how ridiculous their being

[Asker]

i am not un cut I have no way or proving that but it really hurts me when people just cna understand that I can infact feel this way...infact a lot of celbrity men are upset over their circ too...ben affleck and howard stern have been public about it actually.

[Opinion Owner]

even if that were true I doubt they are so upset they let it effect their lives the way you are

[Asker]

link ---take a look...there other men too and they say some pretty nasty things.

[Opinion Owner]

not gonna bother looking, if they are letting it effect them as much as you then they all have problems that need professional help and perhaps medication

[Asker]

OR...u ever think amybe its a horrible thing that was done to them? would you mocka rape victim for being upset?

[Opinion Owner]

Thats the most insensitive thing I've heard a man say in a while. Rape is the most a brutal violent life changing thing that can happen to someone. Its insulting to compare circumcision to that. Your not currently feeling any pain, nor can you remember having felt any pain from the procedure, your just upset at the fact it was done. I am certain that you don't have any idea what true pain and torment is.

[Asker]

id rather be raped than tcircumcized if my rape didn't result in permannent phsyical damage...i could get through that...being circumcised means that ull never have your sexual capability back..ever...its impossible to regrow foreskin...and look your just flat out being sexist...u think womens problems are lawyas worse thatn mens and you live ins coiety we no onw would dare touch your gneitals at a young age and you get to kick back and tell any men that hve bene mutialte dthat theyre cry babies.

[Asker]

u don't think in insulted me that I'm orribly depressed over loosing my sexuality for life...and you and several other girls on here get to tell me how its no big deal and I'm apthetic for it...but o man I bring up rape and your horribly offended...im glad I offended you because I don't reapsect you because you don't respect me...i hope I insulted you.

[Opinion Owner]

nope you didn't insult me, I pity you. I really hope you get help.

[Asker]

wut do you meant by help? and see...u just proved my point...now I've got pity because of it.

[Opinion Owner]

I pity your disorder whatever it may be and I pity your simple minded nature. I hope you seek professional help because that's the only thing that can help you. I'm not continuing this conversation because its useless and as easy as it is to laugh at you I feel bad because your a little crazy and I'm wasting words on you. Good luck with your penis.

[Asker]

u pity me for feeling bad because of something that's a real problem...if you had part of your genitals missing and culdnt hav e normal sex life ud be angry at me if I said you were being delusional.

[Anonymous]

Date Jewish girls. Their used to circumcised guys and prefer it. Lol

[Asker]

why..so the jew girl can mutilate my son? no thanks.

[Opinion Owner]

Actually. Do you ever wonder why Jewish men don't have the same insacuritties as u? Well it's because they grew up with their friends, family, neighbors, and everyone around them being circumcised. They grew up where it's normal to be circumcised and the woman are used to it also. So instead of your son being insacure, he'l be confidant. So, sucks for you.

[Asker]

well I'm also not jewish and they don't intermarry...and yea jewish boy sprolly don't care because they don't realzie what was taken from them and what they are missing.

[Opinion Owner]

Actually, a lot do intermarry. Most Jews have assimilated are are just like everyone else. And nothing is taken away when your circumcised! You feel the same during sex. most guys commented that it does feel the same. So stop feeling bad for yourself and if you need more proof, as your girl friends on their take on this. So ya :p P.SJews are awesome :P

[DandelionGirl]

excuse me! I'm jewish and we don't mutilate boys, you should be proud that you are circumcised you idiot. How much more proof do you need?

[Asker]

it is mutilaiton..it removes part of oan orgna that is extremely mportant..theres more nerve ending sthere than any palc ein the male body..and it protects the head..when it gone the head dries out and I don't care if judaism is okay with it... some religious cuwstoms circucise girls...is that not mutulation? religion doesn't justify...it does do harm...a circ penis feels much less pleasure. that's a fact you can't take away all those nerves and proteciton and have it fucntion correctly.

[Asker]

and its easy for jewish GIRLS to be oaky ith its not your gentials being cut...i mean let me put it thsi way is there ANY part of your genitals you wouldn't mind having cut off? Any part? if no, then why would you expect all boys to do it? btw...would you demand a guy get cut ina dulthood before sleeping with him.

[Opinion Owner]

But ironically YOUR the one complaining and being insecure about it. Not those Jewish guys. They are proud to be circumcised, which is something YOUR lacking in. It's sad how your so conflicted and paranoid. Now truly be honest with yourself, would you rather have grown up in an invironment where your proud to be circumcised or in a place where your not confident with your penis? By the way, girl's in general, find it attracted when a guy is confident and not insecure.

[Asker]

theyre brainwashed by their religion...some christians castrated themselves...and wer efine with..they were in a cult mindset. and nayways why the hell would you be proud of missing a large protion of your penis only being able to experience 1/3 the pleasure of uncut men? why would you be proud of that? and that's fne..girls are slefish SOBS they get so sob and feel as insecure as they want end expect a guy to comofrot them but when a guy has his penis mutialted he suppsoed to pretend its not big

[Asker]

deal. great.

[Opinion Owner]

Look, it's really annoying to argue with you. So I don't care. Believe what you want. And it's people like you that make me sad. Bc you don't know Judaism and just assume all this B.S that really aren't true. Judaism is a great religion where you can voice your opinion and choose what you wish to believe in and not to believe in. We don't even force it on other people to convert! Nothing is forced and we got each others back. And it's a good feeling. But w/e. conversation is over.

[Asker]

im sorry I didn't mean to offend your religion...i just believe circing me was wrong and I hoenstly WISH I could be proud of it or at least just happy with it...but I just can't find reasons to...I'm not jewish...so its not part of myculture to be proud of it...thats wer eim coming from...and I don't think I could become jewish...and I'm guessing you would agree that convdrrting just so I could be happy with sex life would be a bad reason

[Anonymous]

I love circumcised penises! Many girls also do! Infanct, I'd probebly never date a guy who is un circumcised.

[Asker]

do you realize a circ guy doesn't feel as much pleasure tho? or do you think that's not treally true?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't believe that. I just really don't like uncircumcised. It's a big turn off. Circumsized looks better.

[Asker]

dont you care about anything other than looks?

[Anonymous]

"an uncut guy would be able to appreaciate sex with me so much more" most women don't think in those terms, either way it will feel good and you will enjoy it, that's what's important. I wouldn't desire to be with an un cut guy, the majority of women are used to and satisfied with cut penises. This is the least important aspect of the penis when it comes to sexuality, even size is a priority over this

[Asker]

even size...isnt size like the biggest issue?

[Opinion Owner]

yes for most people it is, or the curve of it. I said 'even size' because your making it seem like being cut or uncut is the biggest deal

[Asker]

yea I'm also small though...so loosing my foreskin really stands to hurt me...atleast thered be some more skin there

[Opinion Owner]

sorry but if it makes you feel any better a bit of skin won't make your penis much bigger. Your probably more worried about being able to pleasure a woman because of your size not your missing skin, in which case practice the amazing art of oral sex and learn to thrust it the way she likes.

[Asker]

well I don't know I'm jsut idnsecure all around...im about 4.5 inches...which I heard isn't that below average but girls seem like anythign under 6 is terrible.

[Opinion Owner]

I would hope any guy I'm with would be no less than 6 and no more than 7 1/2, even 5 1/2 might be OK. I've never been with anyone smaller than 6in but I've only dated black men so if your white its probably OK, the woman won't expect that standard from you and is probably used to seeing guys that size.

[Asker]

are you black?

[Opinion Owner]

why does it matter

[Asker]

because...ur arguemnt will be kind moot because ig girls wnat big penises theyll just date black guys and then ims cerwed you think white girls don't care about big penises because they can't? whasts your logic.

[Opinion Owner]

im mixed. I think white girls or any girls really, aren't expecting a big penis when their with a white guy and if theyve always dated white guys they will know its likely not going to be huge. Most girls won't usually seek out a black guy just for his penis, that's not our top priority, if we fall for a guy we will accept whatever he has

[Asker]

well then why do you date all black guys?

[Opinion Owner]

I grew up surrounded mostly by black people so it just happened that way, id be open to dating any race

[Anonymous]

If you are actually circumcised (I have my suspicions), you are one of the very few that has this problem. If this is that big of a problem to you, I would love to trade lives with you because it has to be pretty good.

[Asker]

no I seriously am...i wish I wasnt

[Anonymous]

Look, you have every right to be upset if you dislike that your body was altered without your permission. But that doesn't mean you have to punish yourself. There is no reason why you should be so insecure or looking so deeply into this. You can't change it, but I guarantee you'll have loads of fun and orgasms all the same. Maybe you should stop talking to anti-circ people if they make you feel this way about your body.

[Anonymous]

You do realize most guys in this country are circumcised. About 79%. I think you are making something out of nothing.

[Asker]

i think most guys are ignorant of it...and also I have more problems that make circ evne worse for me...im kinda small in that deparment and I had issues with OCD and would overwash myself and its hell on your skin inclduign your sex organs...it gets really dried out

[Opinion Owner]

Perhaps you should speak to a professional about how you feel.

[Asker]

i know but that sounds embarrasina dn I mean what can s/he do? I feel like some shrin isn't enough...i just to know girls aren't gonna look down on me, pity me, think less of me, wish they had an intact guy...etc...etc...etc...

[Opinion Owner]

I have no idea what you are talking about. I have been with one guy that was uncircumcised. The rest where circumcised. No big deal. You realize a lot of circumcised guys have girlfriends and wives. Right?

[Asker]

yea I guess...i just think for me its gonan be super bad because I used to hav bad ocd and would wash myself obsseively...the soap and wayer relaly dried out my skin including on you know where...add to that that I'm circumcized and I worry if I'm so desentized my love life willl suck...im virign and I can jduge it but I'm terrified of it.