I'm officially done with girls. What should I do next?

I'm soon to be 25 and I haven't even kissed a girl yet, forget having sex. I haven't met one girl that was attracted to me. I've been rejected by every single girl I've approached. Even on the internet, when I look for girls to talk to like on video cam sites like omegle or chatroulette then not one girl even gives me a chance to even talk to. They disconnect me before I even get a chance to type out "hey". In real life it's just bad. I've never had a girl really interested in me or flirted with me. Whenever I tried to show interest in a girl she made me feel uncomfortable due to the fact of not being attracted to me. So now what. Yeah I'm ugly and these are the things you have to pay for when it comes to being an ugly guy. But I can't be patient any longer. I wanna stop worrying about things like getting a girlfriend and focus just on living my life and making money to feed myself till the day I die. Now how do I do that? Because every now and then I'll find a girl attractive and have feelings for her but in the end I'll be disappointed and upset as usual so I just wanna stop going through that once and for all. Please don't say "turn gay". I have childhood memories of being molested by my neighbor at age 7 who made me suck him and what not many times before I finally moved. So yeah, the thought of even being in any sexual activity with another man traumatizes me. But seriously, what can I do to stop thinking about that. My mind tells me to be done with girls but it's really hard.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, I don't know what to say, man.

    My best friend was literally a virgin until he was 30. Sort of an ugly dude, I guess, but I see a lot of hot chicks with ugly dudes. He wasn't very outgoing, spent a lot of time gaming and sh*t, didn't hit the gym. I think he tried to get with a couple of different girls (just a few) and got shot down, but that's it. I think his biggest problem was his personality. He's one of those guys who seems like a boring, overeducated a**hole until you get to know him and he opens up, then he's a f***ing cool guy to hang out with, great sense of humor and all, just never shows it to anyone he's not comfortable with.

    You say you're educated and athletic. I don't know how many girls you've actually tried to get with, but I'm guessing it's not very many. There's hundreds of thousands of people out there, probably in your general vicinity, and a lot of finding a relationship is a basic numbers game. If you're not out there playing that game though, your chances are pretty damned low, because the women aren't going to come talk to you, even if they're interested.

    Anyway, back to my pathetic, 30-year old virgin friend. He wound up dating a pretty damn gorgeous girl that he met through some mutual friends, and they've been together for several years now. If he could find someone who could get over all his sh*t and somehow find him attractive, I'm pretty damn sure you can too. Don't give up.

  • Focus on getting your career going in the right direction, ans at the right pace. Get a good education, get a good job that will make you happy. Basically, focus on everything you would focus on even if you had a girl, but exclude the things you would do/need if you had a girl.

    • I'm doing all the things you've just mentioned.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Why don't you simply wait until you meet someone you click with? You don't have to go looking for people. I've had two long term relationships which started even though I have never looked for someone. They began as friendships and then we clicked and fell in love.

    Maybe you're just trying too hard. It isn't always about flirting. Sometimes you just have to wait and you will be taken by suprise.

    If you think that life is about having a girlfriend and making money, then you need to find another reason to live. Wouldn't you feel a great satisfaction from working for a cause? The people who are happiest are people who help others. In fact, the happiest careers are supposed to be the ones where a service (such as teaching or care) is provided.

    • I've waited for over 15 years ever since I started liking girls at age 10. How much longer should I wait out?

    • I am my current boyfriend's first ever girlfriend and we started going out at age 21. He's good looking and really selfless, but he just haven't been trying to get a girlfriend. We started as really good friends, and with my first relationship lasting 6 years, I think it's best for things to happen that way. Some people don't find the right one until they're in their late 30s. I think you need to think about what you truly want in life and work towards that.

  • *sigh*

    stop being negative about yourself that's not helping anything.

    also you claim to want to be over girls but clearly your not which isn't a big deal you just need to overall lower your standards. so what if a girl likes you for you money, maybe that's how it starts and then maybe she comes to realize what a great person you are later. or maybe she is a moneywhore, w/e but at least you get some companionship out of it. you're a good person and other people see that! and if shallow girls don't, then fck em. maybe you could join an eharmoy or something. there are lots of people who are traditionally attractive on there that find love all the time.

    • Your advice is total sh*t. "Lower your standards"? "E-harmony"? Quit giving advice, please.

    • whatever

    • stupid question gets stupid advice. fck off turd

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  • despite looks, being desperate is just as worse. you sound like you hit on anything and everything, and girls can definitely sense that. if you feel that unattractive, try working out at the gym and raise your confidence. ask some girls out there maybe, a place you have never tried. be happy with yourself b4 you try and be happy with someone else.

    • OMG. I actually do go to the gym. I have a decent body and I'm quite athletic too. But I'm really ugly though. And no, I don't hit on everything I see. Not the guy who would "f*** anything that moves" but I'm not shallow. I know my limits so I wouldn't go for a girl who I find really attractive due to my ugliness.

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 14
  • Well in reading this I see a lot of self loathing and non confidence. If you want to find someone you must first like yourself and be confident in who you are.

    • Umm. I do like myself.

    • Not based on what you said. In fact with that attitude you could be Brad Pitt and scare the ladies away. Truth be told most girls like a personality more than looks.

    • I've mentioned everything that's true though which are facts that have occurred in my life. I'm not trying to impress anyone in here. I'm looking for answers and advice. I obviously don't go around talking to people with this type of an attitude.

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  • link

    There ya go mate!

  • You have the worst attitude towards life it seems to me. Looks aren't everything and if you would actually have a good attitude I can guarantee you some girls would be interested in you. Have you ever seen a ugly guy with a really gorgeous woman? yes, it happens a lot. If a guy has confidence and a fun personality that is very appealing to girls. So change your attitude and see what happens...

    • Yeah, there are tons of ugly guys with gorgeous women. But hey, that's because they are filthy rich! Am I? No. If I was then I wouldn't be in the situation that I'm in right now.

    • That's Bullsh*t is not money. It's called charisma. I wouldn't like to be around someone that negative. Change your attitude.

    • Comes with a lot of money of course. Come on now. Ugly guys don't stand a chance with gorgeous women unless he has something valuable to give her in return like wealth and what not. Not even decent average looking girls would give non-rich ugly guys a chance. Confidence is just a word that is thrown around by girls to cover up their pickiness in men. When a good looking or rich guy is confident, he is seen as charming or charismatic but when an ugly guy is cofident then he's seen as a creeper.

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    • Lmao

    • Thank you captain obvious. Of course all women love money and power. I want to be liked for who I am, not for superficial reasons like money and power. Even though girls are wired to be attracted to money.

    • I was mainly joking, but to be perfectly honest, power is no more 'superficial' then being hot is for a woman. Most girls are not attracted to money, though they like it, but many are attracted to rich (i.e. powerful, successful) men. If you want someone whose panties get wet because of 'who you are', it just doesn't work like that. A girl will (hopefully) be attracted to you as a MAN. She will then want to STAY because of who you are.

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  • Did you know that the hottest girls actually end up with ugly guys? Haha cheer up bro! You will find someone!

    • For their money. And I wouldn't want that.

    • I know... That would suck! However I still think you shouldn't loose faith!

  • hire a prostitute

    • I'm mentally frustrated. Not sexually frustrated. Now leave.

  • you are off to a good start. Resign yourself to masturbation for the rest of your life - you need to become a jerk, which requires the attitude that women are a low priority. Use your jerk-powers (once you obtain them) to make bundles of cash, and then a sufficient quantity of women will flock to you - granted they will all be the superficial gold-digging-whore types, but at least they'll be attractive. You can get sex from them, if you want, but never go back for seconds with any of them. Remember: they only want your cash. The moment they get it, there will be no more sex (with you, anyway). It doesn't matter what they tell you about love or how wonderful they think you are - they only want your money. Do not marry them. do not allow them to think for one second that you are in a relationship with them, or the game is over, you lose. Although, when you're in your 60's, I suppose it would be alright to take a trophy wife or something...

    • So seeing women as less of a priority to anything else makes you a jerk? That's what you're saying right? SOOO let's say im going to prioritise doing my homework over thinking about women. Which I think is a sensible move. That makes me a jerk in your eyes? Im just glad I get to open your comment up. Hopefully people will be able to see hoe everything else you wrote came from the same mug.

    • @CDJB18 i was mocking the asker...

    • Im on side with the OP

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  • If your smart focus on making money, many women love that right. This sucks though, I'm sorry to hear it.

    • I'd rather be single than go out with a girl who would want me just because of money.

    • Money is part of it but if your a nice guy with money I'm sure there are many women that would be attracted to you, especially as women get older.

  • try dudes

  • Im 41 and balding (started going bald at 25), impotent (due to antidepressant use), never kissed a lady, treated like sh*t by my peers when I was young, living at home with mom, and, uh,... I'm not sure how to end this, so have a nice day 8 )

    • Wow. That's really depressing. I think I'll be in your shoes too by the time I'm 40.

  • focus on yourself and the right girl will come along when you least expect it

    • I've been focusing on myself for more than half my life. School, work, and college.

    • u sound like a negative pessimistic debbie downer. no one would want that energy in their life. start tackling your goals like you want to and talk to/meet new people... read the ebook titled "the popular club" you sound very insecure and need some confidence. remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder

    • It's not being pessimistic. I'm being realistic. I have been tackling my goal future wise and what not. My life is almost pretty much set. And I do meet new people. Like I've mentioned already, I try approaching girls I like every now and then but get flat out rejected. You talk about beauty, women actually consider looks to be more important than men. People believe women are more open minded when it comes to looks is because there are a lot of average and even below average guys with gorgeous

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  • Live life, young man. It has so very much to offer besides sex. So very, very much

  • From expierence, I can say that your appearence has little to do with dating. I've dated girls that are gorgeous, and as you can see I'm average, if even that. The key is to be pleasent to be around, be sweet and careing. And most of all, BE CONFIDENT. Everyone has beauty in some way, don't let your self image ruin your life. Just because you don't think your attractive, doesn't mean that the world thinks the same of you. Just do you.

  • I think that it's okay that you haven't kissed a girl. And just because you haven't doesn't make you gay. You don't have to be done with girls, you will find a girl soon it just takes time. There is a person out there for everyone and just have a positive attitude and you'll be fine

  • i hate how girls can be desperate but not guys

  • Go to Sweden, you'll get laid.

  • I suppose get a job that is able to provide you with what your goal is.

    Everyone has a low point some time in their life and sometimes it just helps to talk about it and try to move on.

    • I've had a low point for 18 years straight

    • did you try getting some help?

    • I went to a therapist 6 years ago when I was suicidal. Now I'm good.

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  • I think your childhood abuse has never fully been dealt with, and this has led to the issues you have with girls.

    I'd recommend seeing a therapist, to resolve these issues.

    • i would pick you as BA : )

    • I actually did go to a therapist like 6 and 7 years ago. I was quite suicidal back then but now I'm not.

    • Hahaha really? Sounds so easy! I mean, perhaps you have some expert knowledge instead of just repeating what you've heard! Tell me, in as much detail as possible, how a therapist will deal with these issues. I imagine its some kind of anti anxiety gun they use. You pay the money, they talk to you, you come out completely relieved from the trauma and able to talk to girls in a way that you couldn't going in to it! Sounds like bull to me. But once again a nice easy answer from someone so smart!

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  • Im not being mean but ASSUME that you're ugly and you really want to have love (actually, everyone does), I think you may try for an avarage-looking girl who you also find interesting. I don't say that less pretty people deserve less love but the fact that when girls THINK they're not too attractive, they'll be less demanding and more easy-going/cooperative. Maybe their friendliness will help you more relaxed and natural in conversation/flirtation.

    • You don't get it. Average looking girls don't find me good looking. I'm quite ugly. I've been rejected by numerous average/below average looking girls.

    • Honestly, I don't think your appearance is what's blocking you from girls. From how you replied to these comments, I think you're quite... over-protective of yourself and you don't even contemplate people's words. We are just some strangers wanting to share with your trouble but actually, the way you ask/answer/react is not too pleasant... Of course if you're ugly, girls can't find you good looking. But handsomeness is not the key to happiness, your attitude is.

    • Another one, you don't think looks are a part of it? That it's all because of his attitude or the fact he chooses not to take a single bit of your advice. Bruh, we could prove this by making 2 fake POF accounts. That would shut you and that bish above up. Even once id gone round and shown the whole facking world which one of two POF accounts were successful, give it a week and you'll all be pretending you didn't see it and that it has nothing to do with looks and money!

  • You aren't officially done with them if you ask questions about them, and then go into detail about how unsuccessful you've been with girls.

    Life is not all about girls. The sooner you realize it, the better off and easier time you'll have.

    I'd also recommend seeing a professional about those terrible incidents to help you out...

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