Boyfriend masturbates to pictures of our friends?

[Anonymous]

I didn't catch him in the act, but I did decide to snoop around on his tablet for the first time today. It's not good I know but I have a good reason. Last year he betrayed my trust and cheated by kissing one of my best friends. Since then my trust in him has gone from zero to about 70% at the moment. So I'm not there yet with fully trusting him but I am trying. Today, we pretty much spent the whole day together at his house. He had to leave to run errands with his mom two times though. When he left the first time, I turned on his tablet and decided to look at his photo albums. I wasn't surprised to see p*rn videos and pictures of naked girls because that's perfectly natural of course. What did bother me was the couple of albums he had which included Facebook pictures of my friends (that he knows personally as well) in their bikinis from their recent beach trip. honestly it really didn't bother me. I guess it just weirded me out because I didn't have that bad gut feeling I usually get when I don't trust him. is it normal for a boyfriend to save pictures of his gf's friends on his computer? anyways, the second time he left, I tried looking up the photo albums again but turns out he deleted them. the p*rn videos and pics of naked girls were still there though. idk I guess I'm kinda relieved that he deleted them without me confronting him about it but at the same time I'm sure he will probably save Facebook pics of girls we know again. any advice on this? thank you.

[jeremy20]

First off, you're already in an unhealthy relationship because he's already cheated on you. A relationship can't be successful on just 70% trust...there has to be 100%...and you know as well as I do that you will never trust him 100% again...

I've learned the hard way that the cliche "once a cheater, always a cheater" is absolutely true. You should've never took this dude back to begin with, but aside from that, I'll focus on the current situtation.

First off, its not "perfectly natural" for a guy to have p*rnography and pictures of naked females. Granted, a lot of men possess those things, but if he's in a healthy relationship and he's fully satisfied, he shouldn't need pictures of naked women and p*rnographic videos on his tablet. I've always seen that type of thing as unclassy, so maybe that's just my opinion. As far as pictures of your friends, that's just wierd. It should bother you because he is lusting over your friends. Wake up! He's with you! He should be attracted to you, not your friends!

If I was you, you need to confront him about this. First, this type of behavior suggests he's not over his cheating ways. Ask yourself, if one of those girls on his tablet would come on to him, would he reject her? Even though he's with you? He probably wouldn't. Cheating isn't a moment of weakness that one gets over...its an act by a weak person. He's just as weak now as he was the day he cheated on you.

I dated a girl for 8 years. Four years into our relationship, she cheated. After her begging, pleading, and crying, I took her back with doubts. When I took her back, I had her on an extrememly short leash until I had 100% trust with her again. Four years after that, she cheated again. They don't change.

If however, you think they do, you need to have a serious talk with this guy about when he plans on growing up and focusing more on you. If this stuff doesn't bother you, such as you might suggest, I guess you can just bury it until he cheats on you again.

If however you want to fix the situation now, talk to him about it and give him an ultimatum.

[Asker]

Thanks for your input. I really appreciate it.

[why-makoto-kun]

"First off, its not "perfectly natural" for a guy to have p*rnography and pictures of naked females. Granted, a lot of men possess those things, but if he's in a healthy relationship and he's fully satisfied, he shouldn't need pictures of naked women and p*rnographic videos on his tablet. I've always seen that type of thing as unclassy, so maybe that's just my opinion. As far as pictures of your friends, that's just wierd. It should bother you because he is lusting over your friends. Wake up!"

[why-makoto-kun]

Thank you SO MUCH for posting that. I thought I was weird for not needing p*rnography or whatever if I'm satisfied with my relationship.

[jeremy20]

I've never I thought I was weird for not needing it/viewing it whatever. My friends always did, and most didn't believe me...but I just saw it as some sort of self control lol

[Anonymous]

haha all these guys bashing him for looking at p*rn when he has a girl friend... they clearly haven't had much experiance with girl firneds... looking at p*rn is perfectly fine in a relationship its fantasy based not reality.. however I have a rule about yanking it to pictures of people I know... its a no no

[Opalivian]

Why is he be looking at p*rn and you friends in the first place?

He should be looking at you.

[Asker]

hahaha I honestly am OK with the p*rn. its the fb pictures that creeped me out a bit

[Opalivian]

We love all females (friends or someone you don't know). Can't help it. >.<

[Asker]

Sad, but true. Wish I could understand the male brain at times.

[Anonymous]

Ewwww. Gross. Seriously?

[Anonymous]

don't think about it too much, that's my tip.