Is a submissive girl a turn-off or turn-on?

[peace-love-couture]

If she'll do everything and anything you want(within reason of course, nothing illegal) and maybe every once in a while she's dominant, is it a turn-off for you? would you prefer dominant over submissive? Those who've had sex...but I'm guessing virgins will answer I'm more submissive and personally, I think it'd be hot for the guy to basically...dominate me. Not in the sense of degrading me by crossing my boundaries, but being called names during sex, being told what to do... y'all?

[MrOracle]

I prefer my girls to be exactly what you described: 90+% submissive, maybe 5-10% dominant, and that describes all of the girls I've dated in the last decade or so. Previous to that, I mostly dated girls who were mostly neutral with only a milder tenancy towards submissiveness. Of course, I'm much better at being dominant than I would have been in my early 20s, say. Most younger guys don't seem to be able to be dominant, or if they try, they just become a$$holes because they don't realize that there still has to be respect and trust, and they don't know how to find that balance.

Anyway, my current girl likes it rough, likes being dominated, restrained, spanked, told what to do, verbally degraded (name calling) or being used at my pleasure. She especially likes it that she has no idea what I'm going to do or when, and she finds that hugely exciting. Her first two boyfriends were 100% predictable and routine in bed, almost robotically so, and so she thought sex was just boring and dull and didn't know why other people thought it was great. Then she started reading erotica, and started not only to figure out what those guys had done wrong, but that lots of other people enjoyed different and kinky things, and over time, she came to realize that she wanted to be dominated and ravished and have a man who was completely in charge and taking the lead and being spontaneous and unpredictable, the opposite of her first two boyfriends. She said she didn't know how to put her feelings into words until she started reading erotica and found that the male domination stories were a massive turn-on for her.

I definitely know guys who prefer to be submissive and want dominant women though, and I know people who are "plain vanilla" who like things balanced and equal. IMO, as long as there is trust and respect, any of those are fine, and there are tons of people in each of those categories.

[northwestree]

I prefer a girl who is in the middle. The whole sub / dom thing is unappealing to me. I prefer an equal relationship with good communication. If a girl does anything I want just because I say so I feel like I don't really know where I stand with her. I want to hear more about her wishes and desires which includes sometimes saying no.

[leximarie]

Im the exact same way

[ARWINGx1]

That depends... I mean, if my what-if/would-be are submissive willingly/by choice. Then yes, indeed. 'cause then I'd be confident that she'd speak up, if something would go awry.

But if it's more 'cause they feel subconsciously (?) obligated to... (or something like that) then the difference would be that I would (also subconsciously) make the situation worse for her, and I would not realize my mistakes until I've gone way past the limit already.

[kenrs64]

Most certainly a turn-on. I have found most women like to be dominated,within reason like you stated. It took me a while to figure that out.

[irykiryk]

Total turn off is a fake tan.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Sure I don't mind a submissive girl.

[Anonymous]

Big turn on if she's submissive. My current girl likes when I dominate her and have very hot sex. She also has a bit of dominant streak in her and hinted she wanted to switch time to time (tying me up for example). Frankly it's not a big turn on of mine to be sub and that turns me off a bit (just being honest)

[Anonymous]

A female submissive is super hot. Nothing better. Let me guess, you want to be "respectfully dominated"? I love women like you, and I totally know what you want. Guys like me want girls like you, and there are a lot of guys like me, I'd say 10% are hardcore enough to dominate you, pulling hair, slapping face, choking, name calling, pinning, tying you up, etc.

A lot of guys aren't into it, but many are, you need to find a man that is, otherwise you'll never be sexually satisfied. Lots of woman are like you and need to be dominated in bed. good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Yup, I like those types of girls.

[Anonymous]

Huge turn on.