Bachelor party. Women how do you feel about this?

[Anonymous]

I'm getting married and when it comes down to bachelor and bachelorette parties I told my wife to be that I wasn't gonna have a stripper due to not only that fact of respecting my women but respecting my relationship. I told her "i ain't gonna have a stripper because I don't want another women's t*ts and crotch in my face and I'm sure you wouldn't like it either" she said no "i wouldn't like that" then I asked her if she's gonna have one and she said "i can't control what my friends do for me" I told her " yeah you can just like I did tell your maid of honor you don't want a stripper." I said I'm going to a bar then the casino then get some grub and head home. I trust her I just think it's f***ed up, one of my friends who is a women told me a story of a bachelorette party where the stripper was putting whip cream on his junk and having the women lick it off, she said even the bride to be did it. I think that's so f***in dirty, I'm trying to respect her by not having a stripper and she's acting like she can't or don't want to tell her friends no to have one. so it's like what the f*** do I do. I don't want some dude sticking his junk in my women's face and god knows what the hell yall do when you get drunk and start cheering each other on. I guess I just need some advice on what to do here

[Anonymous]

I am surprised how nasty parties have gotten for women. I heard that male strippers are putting their stuff out there too. They never used to be that way.

So, what your fiance is telling you is that she does not feel comfortable dictating what her party will be like and it appears it is easier to push back on you than on her friends. Who knows, maybe some of her friends cannot wait for something crazy to go down.

I would sit down with her and make sure you stay calm. Just tell her that you love her and you are really uncomfortable with the idea that she is not telling her maid of honor to make sure not to have a stripper. Tell her you know that once a stripper shows up, the rest will really be out of her control and you don't want to risk your relationship for something that could have been stopped. Maybe ask her how she will feel if on the day of your wedding someone from the party decides to say something about the party to hurt one of you. It happens. Why go there.

I made double, triple sure to tell my maid of honor that I did not want a bachelorette party with a stripper. I wanted a bridal shower and that is what I got. As it is, my husband's sister kept trying to get me to go to a party for someone I did not even know and I did not. His sister is great, but yes they had a stripper and supposedly he had his junk out. I am so glad I missed that.

[peace-love-couture]

More bad is likely to occur at a bachelor party than a bachelorette party

I'd be OK with my guy going to the strip club with his boys, but I think bachelor/bachelorette parties are excuses to cheat and disrespect your relationship, especially with guys. Guys can be a bad influence around one another; add alcohol and strippers to the mix and it's just asking to be cheated on.

I'd not have a bachelor party and I wouldn't want my partner to either...but then again, I don't believe in marriage lol So I'm fine with just settling down and never feeling as though I'd have to break free for one night

[justincider]

Have you seen girls bachelorettes in Vegas? Horribly scandalous. Tons of cheating and bad influence going on there. Girls go to clubs, and hook up with real guys. Guys go to strip clubs were there is little to no danger of leaving the club with her. Bachelorette parties are way more dangerous...

[peace-love-couture]

I'll bet I forgot--only girls can do bad

[Asker]

we ain't playing battle of the f***ing sexes here OK I just want some god dame advice on how to handle this sh*t. I'm getting married and it seems like my soon to be wife don't care if a stripper shows up for her...i want her to feel like I do...she always plays this I love you more bullsh*t but I feel like I love her more in fact because the only f***in women I wanna see naked is her...and she seems like she could give 2 f***s left of how I feel about it.

[peace-love-couture]

Yeah, judging by your response she sounds like a lucky gal insert sarcasm

[peace-love-couture]

*overreaction alert*

[Asker]

i got to much sh*t going on for this high school crap if you can help with my problem cool glad to have your advice, if you're just gonna be a prick plase leave I need serious advice, because the way I really see it is if I ain't gonna go out and get a stripper and do all that sh*t out of respect for her and she turns around and does the sh*t anyway I shouldn't be marrying this women. so I'm sorry for being a a**hole but this is very important to me do you understand

[peace-love-couture]

My opinion is to let her know how you feel about it and let her know why. To me though, it sounds like insecurity and as though you just expect her to follow every "rule" you say.

[Asker]

i don't expect her to follow my rules it's the rules of a relationship. the way I see it if a dude is putting whip cream on his d*** and smacking my women in the face with it I see that as cheating. same as if a female stripper where to put whip on her boobs and wanted me to lick it off that is cheating I have a female friend that told me stories about what chicks do at these things I don't want to marry a women who f***s around with a male stripper the night before.

[peace-love-couture]

You're trying to justify it to me when I clearly don't care. It's obvious ignorance and insecurity. I personally wouldn't want a stripper because it's weird, but if they wanted a stripper for themselves, then by all means do what's necessary. I just rather spend the night having fun than watching friends have fun. But uh, like I said, talk to her. Justifying yourself to us won't change anything

[Prettygurl12]

Not sure you can do anything. I know I wouldn't be comfortable with having a stripper at my party and I sure wouldn't like my husband to. But it's true, you really can't control your friends. You can tell them you don't want one and they may choose to ignore you.

[Asker]

then leave that what I would do, I'm just saying do on to others what you would want done to you. so when I say no strippers that means I ain't gonna have a stripper my boys get me one I'm leaving that's that's

[Prettygurl12]

I applaud you. I certainly agree with you.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you. This is not a nice way to start a relationship, with some commercialised guy/woman being paid to spread such values and attitudes!

Also, I like your stand of equality and same standards for both.

The only time I paid to watch a stripper (in my student days once), it was a low-light situation, and in those times things were mostly considerably tamer. The woman hurriedly knocked off her clothes, didn't touch any of the viewers, and was gone. At the end of it all, rather than feeling aroused, I actually felt manipulated. And stupid that I had allowed my humanly instincts to be used in this manner. Not very nice a feeling.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she could care less what you want, by telling you I can't stop my friends from getting one. Yeah she can, all she has to say is no strippers guys, he isn't getting one, and I don't want one. If she can't respect that I honestly if I was in your shoes I would reconsider marrying her.

[Izzy2102]

It's awesome that you don't want a stripper and she shouldn't either. I wouldn't want a stripper at my party either, it's just awkward.

Anyways, she should tell her friends she doesn't want a stripper and be clear about it. Sometimes friends don't listen though and will get one anyways. I'm also sure what your friend told you is an exeption.

You can't really do anything, just talk to her, tell her exactly what you told us. How it makes you feel and what you are afraid of

[why-makoto-kun]

Ok that's some double-standard crap right there. If I ever got married, and my future hubby was wonderful enough to not even WANT a stripper at his party, there is no way I would have a male stripper NEAR me at my party.

Ugh. -_-

[Asker]

i hear you I just know some dirty sh*t happens with male strippers and I don't want some dude's **** in my womens face. just as she wouldn't want some chick sh*t in mine. I feel it's a respect thing and I trust her to do the right thing but if I found out she had a stripper I'm just gonna be wonder what the hell did she do? how far did this stripper take the entertainment ya know.

[why-makoto-kun]

I think it's cheating to see a stripper, personally. It's not cool.

[Anonymous]

Ive learned...

Get the strippers. Have a wild time. Seriously wild. Because those chicks are gonna. Might as well make sure you had more fun then them. And bachelor parties are off the hook fun.

I heard what the girls did. But we didn't say sh*t about what we did... :-)

[Anonymous]

all you can really do is warn her that you will see it as a sign of disrespect of your relationship and of you if she participates in it. she has free will to leave if her friends disrespect her by doing something she makes very clear she does NOT want to happen and why. If I asked my friends not to do that and they did I'd be pissed at them. there's plenty to do to celebrate with your girls that doesn't involve half naked men.