I can't get turned on....ever. :/

[Anonymous]

I'll try to keep this to the point. I can't seem to get turned on...is this usual? My boyfriend is extremely attractive and there's no one I would rather be with, so it's not that I'm physically not attracted to him. But no mater what he does, it doesn't do anything. The most turned on I get is when we're making out and it's more just the fact that we're kissing. It's not enough though. His turn on is when you suck or lick his ear. It drives him crazy; I honestly think I could get him to come just by doing that, but he has no such luck with me. Sexy pictures, sexting...doesn't work. He kisses my neck and nothing happens. He spends time doing all sorts of things with my breasts (sucking, nibbling, rubbing etc,) nothing happens. He spends time down there, fingering, oral...nothing. Don't get me wrong, it feels good, just not GOOD. Ya know what I mean? Masturbation doesn't work, I can't even make myself react... Is there any place that you've found works, girls? I'd really like to find somewhere that works cause it's frustrating and I think my boyfriend is figuring out that I'm not as into it as I could potentially be. It's probably an uncommon thing so feel free to tell me I'm weird. -_-

[journeyman1126]

Had a girlfriend like that, which hurts to say because we all want to think we're the World's Greatest Lover...

However, for whatever reason, she only marginally got into sex, despite trying the gamut of sexy clothes, p*rn, etc.

The thing that saved the sex situation with us was one enormous vibrator. The kind you plug into the wall, that has interchangeable heads - not the sex shop kind, the back massager wand kind. Here's one on Amazon: link

It helps a lot to have a 120 watt helper sometimes.

I didn't feel bad about it. Wasn't insecure - I've had dozens of women give me top marks in whatever way they felt comfy with - you don't want to tell many guys that they're your best ever, because they'll get a big ego.

It would be equally difficult to tell them you just don't get into it, I'm sure. So suggest the massager, or tell him someone gave you one as one of those girlie pamper-yourself-time things. It just accidentally fell down your pants, and what a coincidence - it turned you on. Hmmm. Darndest thing.

The bottom line is you need to feel at ease, and have enough stimulation. If you don't like any foreplay activities, and any of the kama sutra positions, then try this. You can use it in the doggy position with him inside you, and while it gets you off, it transforms your vagina into his own personal vibrating love toy. It's a win-win situation.

[Red_Arrow]

Sometimes the problem is just letting go. You may not even realize that you are your own barrier. You responded to one Anon girl with "I just shut down as soon as we get intimate." That sounds like you have some interest starting that disappears when you start to get intimate. And that is you throwing up walls, even unconsciously.

I would suggest trying intimacy without aiming for sexual pleasure, and allowing yourself to adjust to that. Holding, kissing, cuddling - without trying anything sexual. Work up to allowing him to give you neck and shoulder massages. As you get comfortable with that, move on to more intimate massages. Get out the candles and massage oil, and take off your clothes to allow him to gently massage you. You have already allowed him to see and touch all, now try it without sex as a goal. You may soon find that you are beginning to warm up to wanting more. Just take it slowly so you don't end up throwing up more walls.

[Anonymous]

You could be going through a period when you just have a low libido. Its also possible he's hot but that a certain chemistry is lacking. Maybe you aren't as attracted to him as you thought... do you have any interest in women? If you're libido has been like this forever its possible you are asexual also.

[Asker]

I have no interest in women. At all. When I think about he and I together it turns me on, but when we're actually together, I feel like what we're doing is wrong and we should stop. So we do. It's frustrating.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok now that gives us some good insight. "Wrong"...hmm. it sounds like your religious values are getting in the way

[KingsOfleon88]

I think if you figure out what turns you on, then it will make things a lot easier for him and more pleasurable for you. You have to know your own body and try different kinds of stimuli to see how you respond.

[Anonymous]

Are you nervous? Stressed? How's your body image?

[Asker]

My body image is fine. I'm not the sexiest thing out there, but I don't look half bad. I'm thin, toned, and have a clean complexion. I just shut down as soon as we get intimate.

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm. Do you feel pressure to come? I had a boyfriend who took it as an insult/lack of entertainment for him if I didn't have a big enough orgasm. And they say only men have performance anxiety!