My boyfriend is 29 and he has slept with almost 50 women-Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

He doesn't seem like a pervert or anything he is actually a gentleman not forceful, nothing perverse. He did not want to tell me how many cause he thought that I would lose interest, when he told me I was shocked. I would have never guessed that many because he is no way like that towards me, he is more interested in our connection, he even said that he did not want to engage in such talk or act with me too soon and ruin the connect that we have. anyway does this mean he was or is an addict? does this mean he will cheat on me?

[Anonymous]

Outside of online forums, it's not abnormal...though not the norm, either.

I have a few friends who have slept with that many girls or more...generally they are average looking with good social skills or good looking with good social skills. Some of them are dogs, some are normal guys who partied a lot when they were younger. You can judge if someone will cheat by how many partners they've been with -- some people are serial monogamists, but don't commit long-term. In my experience, the serial dater often cheats more than people who are comfortable being single and sleep around a lot. Because they don't want to be alone, they don't end relationships before starting another, leading to an overlap for several weeks or even months!

[Anonymous]

I'm 26 and I've been sexual with 42 people in my life. But I can still maintain a relationship and not cheat, there was just a period in my life where I wasn't interested in being in a serious committed relationship. I don't think it's fair to judge him based on that because you asked so you should've been prepared for the answer. Just because someone has had many sex partners doesn't mean they are incapable of love or being faithful. In fact I have a boyfriend right now and am very committed to him. It sounds like your boyfriend really cares about you so don't let this worry about how many people he's been with ruin what could be a good relationship.

[Anonymous]

I don't think he's an addict or that he would cheat, for guys is not rare to have a one night stand and he might have had many of those, but it come to a time in where they want to settle and that maybe where he stands right now with you

[taster]

Not sure what to tell you...I was at or near 25 by the time I was 32..got married a few years later and have now been married for 17 years...haven't had any extramarital partners yet! Think you are just going to have to follow your heart or trust your instincts. I have a couple of friends who have done over 100...and happily married...and I think one does not fool around, while the other one is a total dog...but his wife knows he is and evidently tolerates it.i just wonder if she has had to visit the clinic one or more times?...o.O

[taster]

@Update...that's smart...Good Job!...(:(:(:

[Anonymous]

Is he really attractive or a great talker? Guys that are really hot have lots of female options and aren't usually the types to settle down into long-term relationships. Men like sexual variety. Most aren't capable of reaching such numbers, but that's a high-risk guy based upon past experiences. Don't underestimate the quest for new vaginae that some guys really lust after.

[Pedantic]

I like how it starts "He doesn't seem like a pervert or anything." As if a guy who went through 50 would be scaring them all away looking like a pervert. Indeed, like this answerer brings up, he is probably very charismatic. Nice people don't have an "N" on their forehead for "Nice" for all to see and know, and Ted Bundy didn't have horns. People never look the way you expect them to look. Who knows what his intent is? He could be settling. Or not.

[Asker]

Ye he is attractive, great talker, plays instrument , plays sport, knows poetry psychology etc

[Opinion Owner]

There you go. He's attractive to lots of girls, which makes it hard for him to settle down. I'd be suspicious IMHO. A man that high likes variety and it is curious to think that just one woman can satisfy him.

[Asker]

i wonder too. He claimed that he has lived it and have it and can't be bothered with that life anymore but his past worries me. He is dated models and beauty queens and stuff. I am just as beautiful as those girls but I am nothing like them, I am more into art and culture and charities and stuff so he may get bored. He has even admitted that he has cheated on most of his exes in the past so I can't help but wonder if I should really get too close to him or if I should pull away from him

[Opinion Owner]

Look, lets be honest. You're dying to be with this guy because you've got the hots for him BIG TIME. Most likely, you'll get with him, sleep with him and at some point he'll get bored or cheat or both. You'll fight, and eventually break up. He'll move on to the next girl. If you're smart, you'll run away now. If you're like the other 49 girls who thought they had the magic golden vagina that will keep him loyal, lol, ask his ex's how that worked out! I know how this story ends, do you?

[Asker]

LOL LOL golden what? well yea I am, we have been dating since July and he could have had me sexually many times but didn't take advantage of the situation, he was like lets stop cause he doesn't want to ruin it and even said he lose interest easily. I don't know if it is because we were friends first and kinda hang like guys, watched football and talk rubbish, so he doesn't really treat me like just his "girlfriend". I could be wrong too :( anyway I am gonna tell him how I feel and just back off

[Opinion Owner]

The Golden Vagina is something that a lot of girls think they possess. That is, if they find a guy who they know is a player, that their vagina is somehow covered in gold and will be able to lock a guy down into a happy, committed relationship. These girls think that the previous 49 girls weren't "special". Of course, the girl who thinks she's really "special" will change a players ways. All guys like sexual variety. The ones that are so good with women aren't happy when that variety is cut off.

[Asker]

hmmm. very interesting. well, I guess I should definitely be concerned about his "high" number. who knows maybe he was just as sweet and protective of the others as he is to me

[Opinion Owner]

That's all part of the game. Even if he is trying to change (which is unlikely, sexual variety rocks if you are a guy!), at some point he'll get bored. Why do you think he cheated on all those ex's? Those girls were exciting for a while, but there's no vagina as exciting to a guy as a new one. This seems crude, but it is true. That's why even guys who are committed like p*rn. We like looking at tons of different naked women. Players have to have new women to be happy.

[Asker]

very insightful

[Opinion Owner]

I'm glad you seem to think so. There's no point in becoming number 51. Some other girl will be 51, and some other will be 52 and so on. Like I said, I know some guys that are nearing 100 and two of them even got married. Big mistake for both the guy and the girl. Both guys are cheating with lots of girls on the side and can't stand their marriages. Simply put, the hottest guys who are also good talkers almost NEVER make boyfriend material. Sucks for girls, but hey, sometimes a small compromise?

[Asker]

well. turns out you were totally off. had a very in depth conversation with him last night, he was even hurt by it

[Opinion Owner]

Give it time. The odds are he'll go back to his old ways before long. A guy with such a high partner count shows a high level of impulsiveness, which doesn't bode well for a long-term relationship. Like I said, give it time and I'll see you back here in six months after he's most likely cheated on you.

[Asker]

well maybe he is trying to change as he said.

[Opinion Owner]

That's like playing the odds in Vegas. The house has rigged the game so it favors them. Guess what? You're not the house. Like I said, you think you know better than 50 other women because you are SO DIFFERENT AND SPECIAL. Newsflash: You aren't so special or different. You are disposable just like the first 50 women.

[Asker]

LOL he is not you, and I don't think I am better than these women. I actually gave this a lot of thought and spoke to him about how it felt about being with so many women and he explained to me that he did not want me to know for reasons such as this, while this could very well be a line there are certain things that doesn't add up, for example I chased him away when we were about to get close. why did he have me meet his family? why did he ask me to marry him?

[HammerofTruth]

He could be lying, but maybe he's not. I don't think it's too high of a number honestly. He's not an addict. And it doesn't mean he'll cheat on you. I, for one, do ot talk about things like that with people I am involved with. I do't want to know those things and I am uncomfortable with telling them the same.

What I'm saying is that what is important is what is going on now. And right now you are with him, so don't give it a second thought.

[Asker]

but 50? OMG

[HammerofTruth]

Let's say that it's the truth. Do you think it changes who he is? Does that make aything different between the two of you?

[Asker]

nope

[HammerofTruth]

Good :) Just forget it and move on.

[bDizzie]

He got it out of his system and now he's ready to settle down. Still, don't ask the question unless you're ready for the answer.

Also… wow I with I had his game!

[papercut2]

Or he might be like every other guy in the world, and he's lying about it

[Asker]

maybe. seems legit, I asked because I constantly hear different names of exes coming up in conversation about our pasts,so I was like how many women are there and he did not want to tell me cause he thought I would lose interest. when he told me I was thinking oh my god but I promised him that I would not judge