Sexual Health
+1 y

I'm so sick of guys expecting sex for everything!

Why is it that all the guys I go out with expect sex within 6 hours of me knowing them? I'm not a prude by any means. I'm not saving myself for marriage, not that there's anything wrong with that. I like sex...when it's with someone that I am dating. I'm not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kind of girl. But it seems like (reasonably, not every guy) but a great deal of guys I go on dates with expect sex within the first few dates. I mean, I understand that guys view sex differently, but if you want a hook up than you should pick up a girl from a bar, not try to get with the girl you are taking out on actual dates. If a guy flirts with me at a bar, I assume it's sexually related outright. But if a guy is taking me on dates and stuff, I assume that he's a little more serious about getting in a relationship. I guess It seems like guys view sex as like "payment": -I bought you dinner, you owe me sex -I bought you a drink, you owe me sex -I drove, you owe me sex -I've taken you out on 2 dates, you owe me sex. I mean, they don't say it outright, but actions speak louder than words. This is probably really dumb, but I get sick of feeling like I have to put out to keep a guy interested. Why can't guys understand that women view sex differently? Any girls know what I mean?
Updates:
+1 y
I guess I'm just old fashioned and idealistic.
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • It's because more guys need to learn self-control and respect for women. It seems as though you have just met immature guys who don't know how to use their brain instead of their "head". And I feel the same as you I'm also a little old fashion but that's not a bad thing. People today take sex as being a natural thing the wrong way. You should have sex because you like someone and you want to show that passion you both feel for each other. Not just because you can't control the urge. I mean sex is a way to bring new life in this world, and you shouldn't do that with someone you really don't know or like. That's how people become orphans and without a parent. And from what you've said it's actualy made me more attracted to you and find you to be a good person. Instead of being a slut. Just keep looking for a good guy and tell the one like you explained that if they need to get off then to go f*** themselves. And being able to wait till you both feel ready to have sex makes for a better relationship and more respect for each other. I for one would never go for a one night stand or sex on the first few dates, makes me feel like I'm using the woman and shows disrespect for them and myself. On first few dates I prefer is a kiss to show I've impressed the girl and that she appreciates my company. But only if it's going to lead to another date and it's genuine.

    • Wow, you SOUNDED like a nice guy up until you used the word 'slut'. Really nice. Guess YOU have a lot of "self control" and "respect for women", huh? I would never in a million years get involved with any man who used a word like that to describe a woman enjoying her sexuality. Jerk-off.

  • Stop dating boys, date men

    • Thnx for BA

    • And split the bill so he can't use it as an excuse, it does take two to tango :P

Most Helpful Girls

  • Make them wait. The good ones know you're something worth waiting for. I know what they say about me, I know what they think but I definitely make a guy wait. The ones that don't want to, they leave early on. If he's not willing to wait, he's not worth my time. And no, he doesn't have to wait a year, I just want to know the guy before taking it to the next level.

  • Not your fault you have a vagina.

    No guy should think for a second that a girl "owes" him sex for anything.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 15

  • Well I personally hate when I am dating a girl who is sexually open and she keeps me waiting. If you have one night stands with strangers when you are lonely, then you should be ready to sleep with me by the third date. What is the point of giving it up to complete strangers you have known for 2 hours but getting mad when guys you have known for a week want sex? Double standards everywhere!

    • In response to the downvotes. I'm not saying I think you owe me anything. I'm just saying I would leave you because you don't respect me. That's all.

    • I didn't say that I give it up to the guys I meet a bars, I said that I know the intentions of guys that hit on me at bars. I know that if a guy hits on me downtown, he's trying to hook up but I don't do that. Sorry for the confusion.

    • Well in that case if I knew you didn't put out for strangers then I would be more comfortable waiting. As a general rule no guy likes waiting longer than any other guy. My last girlfriend made me wait months when I knew that she only made other guys wait a week. I couldn't take her seriously after that.

    • Show All

  • Probably can thank a large percentage of women go give out access to their vaginas like handing out business cards. This has set the mindset of many men these days to expect easy sex from all women. And actually, I am unsure what, at least western women anyway, really view sex. I hear so much of the time "sex is gross" "sex is disgusting" and any references to men wanting or liking sex are slammed by lots of women, it's almost like the male sex drive is on trial with a stacked jury. And then, I hear lots of women putting out then complain that they did.

    Makes me glad I don't have to deal with this grief. Married an eastern woman who sees sex as her source of personal pleasure and gratification and not as a reward for an obedient man nor something a means to control him.

    • Your username fits you perfectly, asshole.

  • typically, the third date, is the sex date. that's just how it is...thats not to say everyone does it but that's just the way it happens

    • That's NOT "hot it is" and your username says plenty about your own intentions with women.

  • from know on become independent. pay for your own stuff and also make clear your intentions in a relationship.

  • You should leave America.

  • It's human nature. Guys d***s literally have a mind of their own. You'll see the difference in a guy after he jacks off compared to a full load.

  • Such a society. Years ago it was called, making love. Now is sex. Sex is separated from love, has become a sport. The Internet is full of p*rnography, and unfortunately p*rn looking guys and girls. It has changed the perception of love and sexuality. There are guys who like sex and romance. Not many, but there are.

    • I agree. I will even admit that I'm so much better in bed when it's with a guy I care about and who I know cares about me. I feel more confident and more comfortable and am willing to do more things. I think a lot of ladies would agree with me.

    • Sex without love and romance is a little better than masturbation. I love it when I see love and desire in her eyes and lips. After that, all things are possible.

  • We don't really expect it we just want it because we don't get it offered to us as much as you Girls do.

  • I answered your question know what i expect...

  • Pay your half and they probably won't expect it

  • if he's that horny you should give him a blowjob and maybe a strip tease instead. Save sex for a really special time. He will love it. I know I would.

  • No girl owes a dude anything

  • True. The Western world has come round to treating all women as sex workers!

    I too think it's appalling.

    Sex is something very intimate, something you'd do with only a few persons (not even everyone you like!) and someone you might want to be committed to -- or at least share and continue to have special feelings for.

    You shouldn't oblige. Guys who get it from other women tend to be very spoilt into believing that it's their "right".

  • Yeah, I know what you mean. I've seen that attitude a lot. A guy who is relationship material will show you that he's interested in all of you, not just the sexual part.

  • There's nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex right away. The problem is, the most handsome men don't have to wait long for a girl to put out, otherwise they rush on to the next girl. Hot guys don't have to date long to get sex. The more average/unattractive guys would love to wait if they could actually get sexual access. You're probably not physically attracted to them though, which is why you end up on dates with pushy hot guys.

  • The reverse would be like saying that you shouldn't expect dates or emotional commitment from men if they don't want to give it to you, just like you don't want to hand out sexual access left and right. Men and women have different goals, it doesn't mean that we are any less right or wrong for wanting something that the other person doesn't always share. A lot of guys assume that if a girl doesn't put out quickly, she thinks we're ugly and just using us for dates and favors. A lot of guys, myself included, have been burnt like this. Men also hate the friend zone. If we don't push for sex, we are scared you are going to put us there after running up a few huge tabs. It happens all the time to guys. That's why we push hard for sex.

    • This is awesome!

    • Why thank you, I know you probably speak from experience.

    • If you don't want to be in "the friend zone" don't accept being there. You just walk away altogether. And I would personally never put a man there because men are not capable of being "friends" with a woman to begin with.

  • Can I get sex for answering this question lol Jk. I'm sure it would get really annoying for you

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