I want my girlfriend to flirt with other men - it turns me on

[kevo409]

How do I get my girlfriend interested in flirting with other men, without feeling devalued, objectified? It turns me on and I see a totally different woman when men look at her, than I usually see on a daily basis. I love her and would not want her to cheat on me, but seeing other men flirting with her and she flirting with them is a huge turn-on and adrenalin rush for me and makes the sex wonderful. She says it makes her feel objectified. I don't want her to feel like this, but I would sure like to see her wear a short skirt and go out and watch other men's heads turn. Am I a nut?

[Anonymous]

In a way, you're trying to turn her into an object of desire. It's sort of like driving around in a fancy car. In your mind, other people's stares increase the value of the car, and it becomes like a trophy you can parade around.

Some women like this, some don't mind, and some dislike it. It sounds like your girlfriend is in the latter category, and if this is the case, it's probably not a good idea to force the issue. She might regret having done it, and if she does do it, it will only be for your sake.

[kevo409]

Very much appreciated! You've got a lot of wisdom so thank you!

[lovebird01]

Yes! Most guys don't want their girls ogled at, and hit on by other guys. Most would be very jealous! (me, included-big time! ) I really don't know where you are coming from on this one?

how would you feel if she carried out the fantasy? Any different?

[kevo409]

You're sure right. I'd be terribly hurt if she ever carried out the fantasy. This fantasy better just stay in my head! Thank you!

[Brokenheart]

I know a couple of girls I can hook you up with! LOL, Seriously I have heard of this fantasy before. But if she loves you she is not gonna feel comfortable flirting with other men in front of you. We are different creatures. But I have an idea!

Would it turn you on the same to have her chat. With a guy & flirt with him. This will make it fun for her it would be anonymous so she would not feel cheap and chatting could get really intense.

[kevo409]

I think you're right on. I think she DOES love me and I love her and it would make me crazy if she actually acted anything out, so the anonymous flirting might just work, or I'll just have to keep in in my mind how I would REALLY like it if I saw her . .

[johnsmith2116]

You're not a nut. But it's not healthy for the relationship if she doesn't want to do it.