Why does he still keep contact with me?

[janelov]

I have known this guy for about 3 years and a half... we met in college and he tried to date me at the beginning of our friendship but I was not interested. Well, years has passed and even though he has moved back to his hometown which is about 1 hour away, he still keep contact with me. I am the only one he keeps contact with from my school. There was a time when we stopped communicating for about 1 year until we ran into each other again and since that day we have not stopped communicating... he calls me or text msg me and I do the same ... I have asked him if he is dating someone but he avoids my question so I stopped asking ... but he still contacts me... so I don't know if he has someone already or not ... so why me? why does he still calls me to know about my life? Most of the guys that has tried to date me and have failed ... they just move on and disappear ... but this guy has kept me as a friend ... and I know he wants something from me, but not sure... so my question is why would he keep contact with me if maybe he has a Girlfriend already? Is it because he just see me as a friend? or maybe he still interested in me? we flirt / tease a lot on the phone and sometimes we get too sexual on our conversations... we've kissed before... anyways, from what I've heard guys don't usually keep contact with a girl unless they are really like close friends or childhood friends... we are neither I guess, so what are your thoughts on this?

[LilMissSunshine]

He likes you that's for sure..but he might have a girlfriend. Maybe things aren't going that well between them and well you came along and he decided to give you a shot. Some guys like to take things slow when they are in a bad relationship at that moment. Like for instance, he would call and text you to get to know you better..and obviously the longer he pushes this ''flirty'' act, you will sooner or later reveal your true personality to him. So just go along with him if you like him. He most probably wants to think things over..that's why he's been avoiding your question.

[janelov]

Well he is being avoiding that question forever .... all these years that I have known him, he has never mentioned anything about any girl he has been with .....

[music4life]

there are many possibilities to this. all of us here believe that he likes you, in someway or another. He may like you or regard you as someone he can really turn to or for the least, trust you. He may also like you more than a friend, but something is holding him back to telling you about this. if he already has a girlfriend (or maybe a wife), maybe he's scared to lose your friendship. it can be many possible (or even unpredictable reasons behind this), but my gut feeling is that he likes you more than a friend, but I'm not sure about the reason. I guess you know best :)

[janelov]

I do know that he likes me in someway or another otherwise he would have just stopped talking to me long time ago right? and yeah I sense that something is holding him back because all these years he has avoided answering my question and I have never known or heard of any girl he is been dating or had dated..... he must keep her really hidden!!! so maybe a wife? I don't know.... and that's what I am trying to figure out but he won't tell me...... why do you think a guy would lie about his status?

[janelov]

...... all the guy friends that I have have never lie to me about their status..... if they have a GF/wife, they will introduce her..... but he is the only one that has never told me anything about his status.... and that drive me nuts!!! because I like him ........

[music4life]

My dear, are you seriously considering him as a lifelong partner in the future? I'm not sure about his personality and you know him better than any of us here, so that's for you to judge :) about the hiding something part, it can be ANYTHING. (it may not be true, but I'm just listing possibilities) it can be because he already has a girlfriend/wife, it can be because he had some past relationship issues that made him such a way, or maybe some family factors that made him held back?

[music4life]

It can be also because he personally felt that he's not ready to settle down? there are so many possibilities...i can't tell much, because I don't know much about him. However, if you are positively sure that you want to be with him, I think it's alright to talk about it to him. A person who you will be with as a lifelong partner should be open to you, especially in important matters, and most of all, sincerity. I wish you good luck :)

[snowflake123]

I think he still likes you for him to be ringing you all the time he must be thinking about you a lot.

And he must care about you for asking how you are.

Ask him if he would like to meet up one day.

Sometimes as a guy its ok to have a girlfriend and have a girl close by who you also like in case things go wrong you have something to fall back on.

So if you really like him and don't want to be his sub contact him and meet up with the guy go for something to eat,and discuss how you feel,its only an hour away!

[janelov]

So you thin that guys only ring girls they like? and yeah I know he cares about me, not all my guys friends call me randomly to ask me how I am or how am I doing.... so he puzzles me.....

[Anonymous]

He likes you on deeper level, either he wants to be close friends or, more likely, wants a LTR with you.

This kind of thing doesn't happen every day, don't let it slip away.

[janelov]

LTR? I don't want it to slip it away... but I wanna make sure that he is not playing around... you know like a kind of a sexual relationship only .... so that's why I want him to be honest and tell me if he is dating someone ... but all these years that I've known him, I have never known of any girls he is been dating !!!! and I can't get him to tell me.... I have never met a guy that had a Girlfriend and would hide her from me....

[Opinion Owner]

It's not just sex, he wouldn't be this persistent just for sex.