Condoms or we will break up?

[Anonymous]

I really need some advice here. My boyfriend and I are both underage. We were falling in love and had go our relationship to the next level .For the first time, I have met a guy who not only complains about lack of sensation but outright refuses to wear a condom. We have had sex mostly with condoms and only one time without a condoms (in 6 months) but every time we are about to have sex we get into an argument about it. He does it but complains about it. My main concern is pregnancy as we already have gone for STD testing. I explained to him that I'm at a great point in my life plus we re too young and I don't want to even take the chance of getting pregnant now. I don't want to get on the pill.he claims he knows how not to get me pregnant but he doesn’t.. I know because when I give him oral I tell him to make me know before he cums but many times he can't tell me. So I really don't know what to do. I feel if he really loved me he could compromise .What other alternatives are there?We even talked about possibly breaking up over this but he say that he truly love me and I don’t want to loose him .what can I do?

[samhradh_leannan]

Your boyfriend is being ridiculously selfish about this- not to mention stupid. If he had his way, he would probably be a dad by now. Good job for standing up to him about this, I know it can't have been easy.

Where to go from here? Well, I'm not a fan of ultimatums. But by throwing a fit about wearing condoms every time, he is proving himself to be immature, self-centered, and reckless. If he truly loves you, he should be willing to do what's best for both of you by having safe sex. I know losing people is hard, but I think if he is unwilling to change about this, you could do a lot better anyway.

I think you should sit him down and explain to him seriously why it's important to wear a condom. Point out that he doesn't want to be a dad, and explain that if you have sex without a condom there is a good chance that you will get pregnant. Try to make sure he really understands the gravity of the issue (although how he's managed to escape understanding it so far is beyond me). Remind him that if he chooses to have sex without a condom, he is basically agreeing to forget his plans for the future and start a family with you right now. It's possible that he just needs a real wake-up call and was in denial about the consequences before.

However, if having one more serious conversation about it isn't enough, I think you should definitely break up with him. I understand how hard it is to let people go when you care about them, but you should not be in a relationship with a guy who is going to behave this way. It's a really bad position for you to be in.

[Anonymous]

break up. you don't want to get pregnant by some chump, he surely is selfish and will not take care of the baby and you are WAY TOO YOUNG. there is no way to "prevent" pregnancy really except abstinence but without both condoms AND the pill youare putting yourself at a risk. please don't be stupid there are too many pregnant teens don't become another statistic

[polkiju]

ALWAYS USE A CONDOM! You could go on the pill but there are certain complication like liver desease !

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Frankly he sounds like a selfish asshole. He just wants sex without sensory deprivation of condoms, and he's completely being a prick about it, completely unwilling to let it go. I don't care what he says, there is no guaranteed way to have sex without a risk of pregnancy. None. Even with condoms there's a chance, so he's lucky he's getting that. Nope, I'm siding with you on this one. Condoms are a must.

You need to tell him outright that you're not going to budge on this. You need to tell him that he needs to stop being such a fucking asshole and just shut up and put on a rubber. You need to tell him that if he doesn't stop complaining about this, and just fucking slip one on, from here on out, it's over. Make damned sure he knows how serious you are about this, and if he still fucking whines, bitches and moans about this, even one more time, you're through.

The hard part though is following through on your ultimatum. Because something tells me he's going to be a fucking prick again, so you need to be prepared to actually break up with him, and mean it. If you let him back in, he's going to just go back to the same ol' bitchfest. So yeah, you're going to have to be tough on this.

Good luck, but I'm fairly certain you can do better.

[stubbsy]

If he was any sort of guy, he would not mind wearing one, and his quote on sensitivity is rubbish, a condom does not restrict at all, at most it stops a guy feeling the wetness of you but that's it, the only reason a guy refuses to wear one is because it doesn't fit and might make his d*** look small and embarrass him, other than that there's no reason why he wouldnt, and a guy has something called pre cum, he won't know about it, and this can get you pregnant, so even by pulling him out before he ejaculates, you could already Why would you touch a guy you doubted of being clean, because if I thought a girl was unclean there's no way I could touch her even with a condom one eeww, but no, a condom does not restrict sensitivity, it just stops us feeling the wetness at most.regnant, so stick by your rules and don't give in, because he is just being selfish, if he persists, then it might be a good idea to break up, because a guy would respect you for respecting your body and would never demand he have his own way in this department, its you that has to carry for 9 months not him, so most real men would always accept your rule of no condom, no sex,x

[Ubetiburn]

Hopefully you are able to get something like the morning after pill, because he will be looking for something on the side that does not require the usage of condoms.

If he is willing to break up with you for or over this, what other 'stupid' reasons would he break up with you while you are three months into the baby's development in your womb. Seriously.

Love and relationships are all about compromise. A bartering system. Give and take. Like anything that is precariously balanced, it does not take much to tip the scales.

If he can not respect you enough (or himself) enough to wear a condom with his partners, there is no telling what he is going to get...be it STDs, Pregnanct or nothing. All it takes is one time.

Why should you compromise, I mean, if you get knocked up, it is YOU that has to go through the hormone and body changes to accomodate a developing baby for mime to ten months. It is you that has to puch it out, it is you with the streach marks.

Get what I am saying?

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

tell him you don't have birthcontrol and you don't want a kid.

[temptationfalls]

Like everyone says. Guy is a selfish douchebag. He's putting his pleasure above your safety and concerns. There is no reliable way to have unprotected sex with a no pregnancy guarantee. Pull out method doesn't work, cycle method doesn't work. There's condoms, pill, shot, and plenty of other methods but condoms are by far the easiest to get while you're underage.

If he doesn't respect your concerns about pregnancy, he doesn't respect you.

[justincider]

I think he has issues. I hate condoms too. They reduce way more sensation for men than women, but if she is not on the pill you both deal with it. I think he may be projecting down the road. Lets say you stay together forever and eventually get married. Are you going to use condoms the rest of your life? Most couples start with condoms, and move to the pill, the shot, the ring, or an iud. The nova (sp?) Ring is probably the most convenient and reliable. There is a girl who wants to date me that I broke up with for many reasons. One of the reasons I won't date her is because she wants condoms for the rest of her life. Once I found that out, I was like, forever? Sorry, there are plenty of girls who are on the pill where the sex will be better.

[justagirl42]

if she's under 18 it's very involved to get the pill or the ring or any other type of birth control not to mention it does things to your hormones, all of them do. it's not like walking into a convenient store and getting condom out of the machine in the bathroom for a guy.

[hannibal214]

you say he won't compromise, but you won't either, in your outright refusal to go on birth control. condoms suck to be honest

[Rick912]

At your age, it would be condoms or no sex.

[condomexpert]

If he truly loved you, condom usage would not be an issue. He would want to do whatever it took for you to be comfortable with your relationship and intimacy. Also, don't think because you were tested for STIs once, that you or he might not have one. Some STIs can lay dormant for a year or more! Don't compromise with him, he uses a condom or you don't share one of the most sacred parts of yourself with him!

[xDepressionx]

Tell him if he doasent want to use a condom you won't have sex with him, so easy! Or do you really want to get some diseases? Or leave him, no way that someone cares about his penis more than the life of his partner, what a rat.

[Anonymous]

Dump him if he's like this about condoms he'll be like this about other stuff. # years of experience talking

[Anonymous]

Either get on the pill or break up with him. He's being extremely swlfish, and condoms are absolutely necessary in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

He's a selfish prick and he needs to man up. Clearly he doesn't have respect for the enormous consequences of an accidental pregnancy and he's putting his own pleasures before the responsibilities of an adult relationship.

Tell his ass he needs to quit masturbating so much and his d*** will get more sensation back. The only reason he can't feel anything when he's wearing a condom is because he's rubbed his penis raw with his hands. Ask him to give up masturbating for a month and see how much better sex feels.

[saltwater84]

Really? Interesting..