How to get over boobie insecurity?

[peace-love-couture]

*sorry for not allowing anon If you're just going to say "get over it" don't bother answering, cause I don't see that attitude with girls who come on here with their saggy, uggo/non-existent boob problems. I have been with my boyfriend for a while now and we've been sexually active since the beginning...at first, I'd take my bra off during sex, but eventually I couldn't stand to even look at them let alone have him look at them. Ever since I was younger I knew that my breasts were *abnormal* and that my areolas are too large...I mean, the terms pepperoni/salami/pancake nipples exist for a reason and it's not cause girls came up with them. And I've heard guys talk bad about bigger areolas irl(I have a lot of guy friends) and even online guys tend to talk bad about them. This is something I've hated about myself for a few years now. I want to get over it, but I can't. I know the surgery is simple and you're out after a few hours which is great, but my mom won't pay and thinks it's stupid and my boyfriend thinks it's stupid. He's told me numerous times that he thinks I'm irrationally insecure. I want to be OK with it but I can't. I know he's slightly annoyed because he knows I can orgasm from having my breasts played with, but I keep my bra on during sex. every time I get on top, he tries to take off my bra but I tell him no. He's also not a boob guy, so I could have two green boobs with yellow nipples and areolas and he'd probably not care. He won't dump me over it but, I'd like to get over this... advice?

[ketfoen]

I think you have asked this before if I'm not mistaken. I don't remember my answer then, so I'm gonna come up with a new one here.

Imagine how you'd react and respond if your guy had a mental body problem just like yours with his penis and he really didn't like and didn't wan't you to touch it or see it, I bet you would have the same annoyed feelings he might be having now.

I wish there was a pill for your condition, but there just isn't, you will have to come up with the realization that there is nothing wrong with them and just to start accepting and start to love the fact they are there for him to enjoy and cuddle. If they are big and voluptuous he will want to fondle them to his heart content.

Even if you are so sure that he won't leave you for it, I bet that in the future if you keep telling him no, your gonna get into an unneeded argument about such a minor thing.

Don't see big areolas as a turn off, but as 2 big luscious bulls eyes which turn you and your partner on, which will be the factor of the best sex of your life.

[TheDigitalSaint]

I'm no expert on body insecurities. I would think that girls in your same boat with similar breasts would be the best ones to talk to on the matter, if they're willing to speak up. By making this question non-anonymous, they may not want to post. Perhaps there's a body insecurity forum or discussion group online for other girls that have general body issues, or issues with breast insecurity? I can't imagine you're the only one out there that thinks about it as much as you do. If you could just "get over it" I believe you would have by now. Besides surgery, there might be other ways to get around it, but I'd first try to find out those same girls that are in the same boat as you are first. Have you done a lot of googling around on the body insecurity forums/discussion boards or joined a few?

[peace-love-couture]

I know, I'd apologize for that but there's users on here who abuse that privilege, so I couldn't.

[peace-love-couture]

And no, I haven't...I know there's forums for girls who are in the process of getting plastic surgery lol but all they'd do is try to convince someone why they should get surgery instead of 'getting over it'

[TheDigitalSaint]

My advice would be to find another site that deals specifically like with body issues. GAG, while it has its purposes, is more a general dating information site. I think your time would be better spent elsewhere for that specific issue.

[MissConfused93]

I know you don't want people to say "get over it", but honestly that's what you have to do. I have inverted nipples and used to be a 32A. I wasn't sure if I hated them or liked them. But when I was serious with my boyfriend, I just bit the bullet and whipped them out haha. He didn't hesitate or have any issues with them. Boobs are boobs and you just gotta live with what you got. Guys love them no matter what. I've gone up 2 cup sizes, and am now a 32C, and I miss my small boobs. My boyfriend loves them now, but to be honest I'm a tad insecure. Doesn't stop me from embracing them though!

I think you just have to find a way to accept them, and know that your boyfriend won't have an issue with them. Nor will any other guy. Some guys live big nipples! But no guy is going to kick you out of bed because of it.

[MissConfused93]

I meant love, not live.

[jpinka]

i have large areolas ans I wonder why they were large compared to others. and I have small nipples .

so HUGE t*ts small nipples ha ha but I like my boobs and no1 says or asked anything. my boyfriend and a girl asked why I have small nipples and I say my boyfriend bites em so they scared to come out lol.

idk how to help you get over it, but we are all made different and be lucky your not super flat chested I would say. least you have boobs

[nermalinda]

What about if you let him play with them in the total dark? That way neither of you can see them, but apparently, he likes them regardless, so he shouldn't care.

[nermalinda]

Also, I can kinda relate because I used to hate my boobs off and on for many years, but then I guess I just got used to them and realized no one really cares. If anything, they like them, so maybe self acceptance can also come with age to a certain point.

[peace-love-couture]

That's a good start. Thanks :P

[LoveLust]

It's fine, I have boob issues, too. I have really perky, big boobs, with thick tissue, very sensitive, but people sometimes call them fake. Honestly, I HATE MY BOOBS. Just because I got perky, D cups, does NOT mean they're fake. It drives me insane.

[Yellowsmurf]

I think a lot of girls wish they had a pair of "issues" like yours. Not meant in an offensive way.

[LoveLust]

Yeah I know, it's a blessing and a curse.

[Bvroon]

The only thing I would caution you against having a procedure done is that it might affect your nerve sensation afterward. I am a breast man, but I would never ask my wife to go through with a procedure which might negatively affect her pleasure. I'm not trying to be weird about this issue, with you but have you considered seeing a counselor who deals with body image issues? It might be worth looking into, in that they can examine the issue with you and help you find a way to cope. I can very much appreciate your insecurities, as I have always felt insecure about my "size", however I have come to terms with it, in that I'm not willing to have surgery and my wife seems happy with it, so it has become apparent to me that the biggest issue I have is really in my head, so I have to find a way to accept the way I am. I hope this makes sense, and that it helps even a little.

[TheGoodTheBadTheHOT]

Advice? If you stop avoiding something and make it a routine then in time it becomes much easier.

The first step will be the hardest but after that it gets easier and easier. Basically what I'm trying to say is take your bra off during sex but only temporarily to begin with and slowly increase the duration without it. Maybe even just start off during foreplay. Maybe a few minutes to begin with and longer the next time etc.

Baby steps make anything possible.

[justme20]

There really is no way to get just get it. Everyone suffers from some type of insecurity on their body. If it was so easy than lots of people would be more secure and wouldn't deal with it their entire life. Only way to have an OK day verses others is to not pay attention to the flaws. Don't look at them, don't even glace. Only thing that works for me

[Shyscot]

Look, I'm not a "boob guy" as you put it, but that doesn't mean I don't like them very much - it's just not my FAVOURITE part of a woman. Other guys will feel the same and touching your breasts is part of love making. It also means that you CAN take your boyfriends reassurance seriously. I promise you, he likes breasts just fine.

I doubt the problem is yours breasts, the problem is how you feel about them. For that I can only suggest counciling I'm afraid. Better to change your feelings about them than try surgery on what, I'm sure, are very normal and beautiful breasts.

[onlyaguy]

I don't have a great answer because I know body insecurities are complicated. But I think you would feel a lot better about your boobs if you could see them through your boyfriends eyes.

[rubyjeanculyer]

so POV sex tape?

[onlyaguy]

Exactly, but different.

[maiez]

Even after pregnancy areolas stay large. So there is something out there, but your boyfriend should help you get through this because he has seen them and he appreciates you

[Yellowsmurf]

Like your boyfriend, I'm not a boob guy. I've had a girl with breasts that probably looked exactly like yours, I've also had what you would call "normal". It quite literally made no difference to me, I enjoyed them as much and therefore I also agree that surgery is stupid.

If he wants to take your bra off that means he likes them. Shouldn't that give you enough confidence? Don't think anyone can help you more than he can.