21 & never had sex, kissed a girl, been on a date, or even held hands with a girl

Question

I'm 21 years old, and am wrapping up my third year of college studying abroad in the UK, (I'm from the USA). I've never had sex, kissed a girl, been on a date, or even held hands with a girl. There's just never been a girl that was interested in me that way.Its incredibly depressing. I liked girls from a very early age. It was never a matter of not being interested. I'm considered very intelligent and intellectual. The lowest I've ever tested in any part of a standardized test is the 95th percentile. I am an excellent speaker, and am very comfortable in front of large groups. I have been slightly overweight my whole life. People tell me they think I'm a really nice guy, incredibly funny, and as a rule they enjoy being around me.The first time I asked a girl to dance, I was 13. We were at a week long sleep-away summer camp. I figured since nobody there knew me very well, it wouldn't be a big deal to get rejected. She said no, and when I walked away I heard her laughing at me with her friends. I waited two years after that before trying again, this time when my class was on a 2 day trip to DC at a dance my school held for us. She said yes! Which would've been great, if she didn't say that she was just going to take a break for a while, first. She never meant to come back. I brought it up a while later and jokingly told her she "owed me a dance"; she laughed and agreed. The next dance, I saw her across the room (keep in mind that I don't dance, I've never felt comfortable, so I'm one of the losers who stays outside the dancehall or stands on the outskirts). When a slow song came on I went over to where she was, but before I got there she started dancing with someone else, so I went back. The next slow song I went over. Before I got there, she moved again. Then my best friend Alex came over and whispered in my ear that one of her friends told him to ask me to stop "following" the girl around the dance. I was equal parts mortified, upset, and enraged, and I left immediately. I cried myself to sleep that night, and I never went to another dance or party until college.When I got to college, I hoped that things would change, but alas, they did not. I did join a fraternity; I felt it would be a good way to force me into social situations and parties. Now being a full-fledged brother in what's considered one of the top fraternities on campus, I've never even so much as danced with a girl at one of our parties. My frat brothers, despite not understanding how deep the problem is, have practically begged me to go dance with some girls on the dance floor.At this point I've essentially given up. I don't believe that I will ever have any type of relationship with a girl. I've lived through most of my youth without enjoying a second of it. I'm so behind in terms of life experiences that it seems virtually impossible to catch up or even begin on the path to catching up. I really need some advice...I can't keep doing this.

NoOneListens21 · Accepted Answer

Hello =)

It's kinda late XD SoooOoooOoo, I'll give you the best advice I can at this hour. lol.

I'm sure that you've heard this before but you should carry yourself with confidence. Stand tall but try not to look too stiff. Relax. The way you feel about yourself sometimes translate into the way you carry yourself or the expression that is on your face. Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. Meaning, even if you don't have that much confidence in your ability to get women act like you can get the women you're after. I'm not saying act like a jerk or cocky but a woman likes a man who takes pride in himself in a sense.

I personally don't believe you have to be eloquent or sexy in order to get someone. Yes, it would help but not everyone is the same or has the same ability. Being your self with someone is a million times better than pretending to be someone you're not. Yes, you should know this but some people act like they don't. lol.

Finding someone who is compatible with you would make you a whole lot happier than finding someone to just have sex with. Unless that's your only goal. XD I hope this all comes together...Point is! Relax, don't think too much. Smile, sincerely! and have some fun. Girls aren't really that hard to talk. They will respond to confidence. Your opening line doesn't have to be brilliant. Making a girl laugh is a major plus but hey not everyone is funny. I'm sure if she is into you she'll laugh anyways even if it's not that funny.

Say hey, smile, introduce yourself, and I don't know where you'll be when you're picking her up but just try to pick up a convo with her. It just sounds like you're letting what happened to you before get in the way of your here and now.

Hope it helps...or at the very least...made some sense. XD lol.

<3

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well honestly I think you are pretty attractive. And I don't know for myself I was sort ofthe same way but I just lut mywelf out there and actively searched people out. Online helped. But it will come!just don't e afraid to e confident in yourself!

eveline · Accepted Answer

View it like this an experience is an experience  that's all

froggyboy51 · Accepted Answer

I think being afraid of rejection is what holds people back. It's the law of averages. Just approach a lot. See what works and what doesn't. You'll also grasp what type of girls positively respond and those who don't. Eventually I hope you find a great girlfriend. who'll like you for you.