Can people tell your sexual orientation just by looking at you?

[Anonymous]

One of my good friends is gay and people never seem to know. They are always incredibly shocked when they found out. He says he can usually tell straight from gay just by looking at them. He talks about "obvious gays" and "obvious straights". Can people correctly guess your sexual orientation just by looking at you, do you think? If they can, what is it that "gives you away"? If they can't, what makes you a "mystery"? Have people ever guessed wrong about you before? If so, did it bother you? What made them think you were something that you aren't?

[JanJan]

I think some people can be "read" quite easily, because they are trying so hard to fit into a stereotype. Some men who are insecure about themselves try so hard to be big tough men, and you can see them from a mile away. There are also the guys who are trying to act "gay" by doing what they beleive "gay" men do, by dressing and talking a certain way. These guys are also quite obvious. But I think most guys fall somewhere in the middle. As a woman, I am usually aware if a guy I interact with is at least somewhat attracted to me, but not all. And of course, not every man is attracted to every woman. Some woman beleive that every straight man in the room is checking them out, and every gay man is just repulsed. But frankly, you can have a conversation with a man without necessarily knowing his sexual preferences. And that's okay. He should be able to reveal what he wants to reveal.

And as far as women go, it's the same. There are the girls who try and act butch, but that's just a stereotype. Many gay women are very femine. And there are varying shades of grey. I can't tell very well when a woman is gay. I am not sure either. I have had friends in high school who were bisexual, but I haven't really had many moments where I just knew a woman was a lesbian without her telling me. Unless someone made a move on me or told me, I probably wouldn't be able to tell. And again, that's fine.

[Claireluvskaren]

It's called "gaydar" mostly a guess but some people are outwardly gay and you just know, I am Bi and no one has ever asked me if I am a lesbian, I know many gay guys and you would never know, most times if we are out in a group women try picking them up in bars, and if any woman is going to take away the straight virginity it will be me not some drunk hottie in a bar ;).

[crraawww]

im, straight, no one has wrongly guessed my sexual orientation (that I know of )

i think most people assume you're straight unless you give them reason to think they might be gay ( the majority of peopl0 being straight) so I think it's more common to wrongly assume someone is straight than to wrongly think someone is gay,

[foxsquirrel]

Many people have doubts about my sexual orientation and it does bother me, a lot even. Even I have doubts about my sexual orientation and people continue to enforce these doubts. Regarding my look, I certainly do not look like the typical man some might even find me good looking but the looks are kind of cute I think especially the expression of my eyes big, innocent, feminine. Not like those barely open male eyes that you can't trust. My lips are kind of narrow and have some volume to them, again more feminine like, I guess. This all makes me think that I never had a full dose of testosterone in my system. Damn it. I hate myself.I think I feel different.

[Alessus]

Well I never assume anything of a persons sexuality, unless the person tells me they are for example straight or gay. As for what others think of my sexuality based on looks, I can't say, as nobody has ever told me that or been visibly shocked when they have found out my sexual orientation.

[Racez]

It's really hard to say those things just from a quick look.

Jumping to conclusions will just open the road to falling hard into your own face.

[Dantemustdie]

It depends on how outwardly people display it, sometimes I can tell right off 'that guy is gay', nobody has ever assumed I was gay so I guess I come off as straight... Which I am lol

[G-Daz]

No one has ever assumed I was gay. I think it is pretty obvious when someone isn't straight

[Dylan1989]

Not sure tbh, but yes, people have guessed wrong about me before. I've been asked out by 2 guys before and it caught me by surprise. I am completely straight so I don't know what made them think I was gay. I didn't bother finding out what made them think I was gay. I just got the hell out of there. They were just dudes who started a conversation with me randomly in public. Do you think I look gay?

[HotTwink]

Yes. People can usually tell I'm Gay. By my voice. And mannerisms.

[holly916]

no they can't

[zagor]

Seems gay men would have to be particularly good at it to avoid being punched.

I have been hit on by guys probably 8 or 10 times ever, but it never happened in San Francisco even though I spent a lot of time there; I suspect it is harder for people who are not around a large gay population to tell the difference.

But with some people it is hard to tell; there are a couple guys I've known who I thought for sure were gay but turned out not to be...

[tiredofwaiting]

No and if it they ask I tell them none of your goddamn business.

[Anonymous]

If this was true then nobody would need to come out of the closet.

[Asker]

If what was true? I just asked if someone could tell if YOU were gay/straight just by looking at you.