Why are most people against losing your virginity to a hooker, escort? some guys are just unable to get a gf

[frustratedchump06]

Or get laid, getting a one night stand, friends with benefits, etc., getting a girlfriend is not an option for me because I don't know how to get one, I suck at approaching and talking to them, and we all know most girls choose to play the passive role in anything that involves heterosexual relations, and since I'm too desperate to lose my v-card, girls can easily sense and detect desperation from guys and that extremely turns them off obviously, I'm still a virgin at age 24, beside free sex is not free sex, I feel that nothing is free in life, because guys still have to do work in order to earn "free sex", as in they have to have all of these attractive qualities that girls like and for some guys that can take some time to develop them, I strongly disagree on how people say that virginity is supposed to be special because most people do not stay with that person for the rest of their life in who they lost their v-card to, and I hate it when people say it is never too late to lose your virginity or that you are too old to lose it, because honestly your youth, which is your teens to late 20's mostly, are the prime years, and who gives a rats ass about STD's? a lot of people have them and they are still living healthy lives

[samhradh_leannan]

You have the right to do what you want to do. But personally I believe that if a guy hires a prostitute, that choice says negative things about his personality, and I will be less attracted to him. To me, the idea of exchanging sex for money is gross in itself. I don't feel that sex should be treated that way, and I don't want to be with a guy who would do that. Plus, it seems to me that someone who is in a position to need to hire a prostitute in order to lose their virginity is really not socially stable and healthy. It's just something I feel completely uncomfortable with. It's not about STDs at all, and it's not purely about the sleaze factor of prostitution. A big part of it is just the fact that a, the guy is so focused on sex and losing his virginity that he would pay for it, and b, he is THAT unable to get sex without paying. Yes, dating is rough, and it can be scary, but it's not impossible for people who are normal and healthy socially. And I'm not going to get involved with someone who has what I see as a serious social problem. I'm not trying to be judgmental, but everyone has their standards, and this is one of mine.

I am against the idea of someone losing their virginity with a prostitute because I feel that it will only hurt them in the long run. I see it as giving in to your situation and dooming yourself to continued dating problems, when instead you could really buckle down, tackle the challenges in your life, and improve your ability to interact with women. Hiring a prostitute will only make you less attractive to women AND it could make you feel even more socially isolated and unable to feel confident interacting with women. And that's the last thing you need.

Plus, is having sex once really going to improve your life? Sure, you won't be a virgin anymore, but that actually means very little. Before you have sex, losing your virginity can seem like a huge deal. But I prefer to think of it like the first page of a book. Okay, starting a new book is fun, and often the first page is enjoyable to read, but what happens later is usually much more important. I think it's a mistake to put too much value in losing your virginity. It is more important to work on your social skills so that you can eventually obtain what you truly want.

If you want some really promising advice on how to gain more confidence with women, check out MrOracle's answer to this question link .

[samhradh_leannan]

Also, STDs are not necessarily the most important consideration here, but I would give MUCH MORE than a rat's ass about them. Many people probably wouldn't date or sleep with someone who has certain STDs. And many can make your life significantly less pleasant even if they don't threaten it. You do need to be careful.

[frustratedchump06]

I don't see why I should believe that I can improve my ability with interacting with women, even if I can I'm sure it will take a very long time as in years and by the time I do get my first girlfriend I will be old already like probably in my 30's and I won't like that

[frustratedchump06]

and plus I do not want my first girlfriend to become my wife, I do not want to settle down with my first if that ever happens

[samhradh_leannan]

I never meant to imply that you should settle down with the first girl you date. I just meant to imply that you should date, period. Look, you don't have to believe that you can if you don't want to. But it is your loss and yours only. You might as well put out the effort to improve the only life you have. It seems to me that trying is definitely worth it. But hey, it is your choice. Just don't refuse to try and then come around complaining that you're single- that happens way too much.

[frustratedchump06]

Well I've been rejected and friend-zoned too many times it seems hopeless and since I haven't experienced it at the time most people do, I feel it is not worth it Anymore often times

[samhradh_leannan]

I understand. But you CAN change. You just have to be willing to make the effort.

[frustratedchump06]

Well it will take too long I bet

[samhradh_leannan]

Longer than you will live for? I don't think so. But hey, if you don't think it's worth prioritizing, I guess you don't want it THAT much anyway. You don't HAVE to fight for it.

[frustratedchump06]

well I want it to be a priority but unfortunately since I am a guy if I make getting a girlfriend very important and a huge priority it will make me look desperate and unfortunately us guys are not allowed to be desperate

[samhradh_leannan]

There is a difference between BEING desperate and ACTING desperate. Making an effort in itself does not make you seem desperate. You can be desperate without showing it.

[frustratedchump06]

the reason why is because I hear from other sources they say that a guy's purpose, mission, goals, passions, have to be is ultimate and main priorities in life, so that makes it sound like a catch 22

[samhradh_leannan]

Finding a girlfriend does NOT need to be your ultimate priority in life. In fact, it shouldn't be, for the sake of you enjoying your life and for the sake of being successful finding one. But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be A priority. It's not a catch 22. Dating is hard, but it's not a catch 22. If anything I think you just want it to be so you can justify not trying.

[frustratedchump06]

no I actually wish there was a way in which I can make it my ultimate priority how to get a girlfriend and forget about other areas in life

[samhradh_leannan]

Well, we can't always have everything we want. You have to work with reality just like the rest of us do. Sorry.

[frustratedchump06]

its hard for me to believe that getting a girlfriend is a skill that can be learned and games because most guys droid instinctively have the skill from their teenage years its like it never took them practice

[samhradh_leannan]

Everyone is different. When you are shy, it makes everything harder. Trust me, I know, I am a shy person too. Which is why I also know it's definitely something that can be overcome. But you have to want to, and you have to make an effort, and you have to not give up even if it doesn't work the first few times. You need to accept the fact that your life is in your hands, and you can either fight for what you want or not. End of story.

[frustratedchump06]

Well you are a girl, so you are allowed to be shy

[samhradh_leannan]

That doesn't mean it hasn't had an impact on my life. It's not as if every girl necessarily gets asked out much, and certainly not by that one guy she has a crush on. Dating is rough and stressful for girls too, not just in spite of the fact that we aren't usually expected to make the first move, but sometimes even because of it. So don't go feeling TOO sorry for yourself because of your gender.

[min40]

I have made a profile especially for replying to you. I am in a similar to his position (20 year old, never even kissed a girl) and i am curtain i won't find a girl soon (mostly male college, mostly male profession, no female friends) Math and money is the only way some people know how to solve social problems they never experienced before. I think for men that having sex WILL improve their life. Do you know how many times i was trying to be invisible when my friends started talking about their sex stories, hoping i wasn't next? Also, women can sense virgins. 16-20 you are ok. 20-24 you might have had a bad luck, or grew up later as a person, still fuckable 25 and up and still virgin - something is wrong with you I will soon hire a young expensive ESCORT (not a prostitute), not to lose my V, but to experience sex, intimacy. I will make her teach me all about sex, so when i am with a woman i care about i won't fuck thing up by leaving her sexually unpleased and let down and disappointed

[Anonymous]

Well first off religion as the other girl said does not matter in my books, stds however do..Think about it this way if you say you have a hard time getting a girlfriend what are you doing wrong exactly? maybe relax on the idea so the obvious desperation diminishes and if you were persay to hire a hooker/escort and DO happen to contract an STD that ISNT one you can live with, your screwed, and if its one you can live with, you may just find the girlfriend you always wanted and have that shot down too because SHE doesn't want an STD. Also you're discussing attractive qualities and such and implying that you lack them , confidence is key and other than that maybe your putting to high of standards? playing out of your league? ..especially if your saying you lack the looks department..not being rude just honest.

[frustratedchump06]

confidence is not enough ugh I have to know what to say and how to talk to women in order to make them attracted to him he has to say the right words and conversations and I don't know

[Betwyn]

There is a social stigma around prostitutes.

but if you are careful, you won't get a disease.

and the whole "pay for sex" argument makes me laugh.

Sure, some girls give it up quicker and easier then others...

but lets say the avg girl makes you take her on 3 dates min before giving it up...

How much is that going to cost you?

[frustratedchump06]

I just want to end the pain already

[frustratedchump06]

Well I hate approaching and getting rejected

[Betwyn]

so hire a hooker?

[frustratedchump06]

I'm strongly considering it

[Bluemax]

Well, one should consider the hooker's situation. It varies widely, but in the states many of them are destitute and desperate and more than a few have been sexually abused when they were younger. To me it seems that paying for the sexual services of someone who might very well be acting out in an unhealthy way is enabling them. You might be contributing to an already bad situation.

In nations where prostitution is legal but not very well regulated, many prostitutes live lives that I would never like to see anyone have to endure. On the other hand, in nations where prostitution is legal and very well regulated, quite a few prostitutes claim to live very happy lives. In nations or states or counties where prostitution is illegal, many prostitutes are where they are because of desperation.

I saw an interesting yet sad interview with a prostitute in Japan (technically it's illegal there, but the legal definition of prostitution is so narrow that there are easy ways around that). When asked what she wanted most in life, she wept and said a husband and children, but she didn't think it would happen because of her circumstances. I felt very sad for her and wondered if her clients weren't contributing to her misery. Still, in the same documentary a series of Australian prostitutes were interviewed (it's legal and heavily regulated there) and they all claimed to be quite happy. I believed them.

[Anonymous]

I'm 25 and still a virgin and I'm strongly considering that

[l3arefoot]

I'd be interested to know how many posters to this have spent time outside the US. The stigma of paying for sex only really exists in the US. Once you're in other countries it's very common and few people care. It used to be common in the US. In Asia you can call down to the lobby of the a lot of hotels, they have girls that work for the hotel only. In Latin America they're all over. In Australia just google whore house and a cab will take you. It's your life, do what you want.

[ArtDent]

Just be like a woman and lie about your past. What's the problem?

[hannibal214]

where do you get your evidence for the statement "most people are against losing your virginity to an escort"? it's your life, if that's what you want to do, who's stopping you?

at 24 girls will think you're strange if you're still a virgin

[frustratedchump06]

And girls refuse to admit that unfortunately, they won't admit the truth

[WickedEyedLeo]

We might question but honestly most girls don't care, especially if he's just saving himself

[worthless-virgin]

Iv thought about it long and hard before.

[Kass1964]

Because it's pathetic to have to pay for sex.

[frustratedchump06]

Why?

[Kass1964]

Because it's one of the few good things in life you can get for free.

[TokusatsuComicLover]

Initiating conversation and approaching and asking out, always having to take the lead that is work that goes to show you that nothing is free in life just because something is not free does not mean it does not require money

[Kass1964]

It's free. If you want to pay for sex go for it. I'm just saying it's stupid and a waste of money.

[frustratedchump06]

It's not free when you have to do a lot of approaching and talking, initiating

[frustratedchump06]

guys have to work to earn free sex you know

[Kass1964]

Soooo they're just being lazy then, right? For good looking guys and girls it's easy to have sex, but for ugly girls and guys they have to work harder. It's not just a gender thing.

[frustratedchump06]

not really guys are less picky

[Kass1964]

Some guys are picky and not all girls are picky.

[adamfk1]

well if women gave guys who aren't good looking chances , then prostitutes will be out of business

[Kass1964]

If a guy rejects me cause I'm not good looking I'm not gonna go out and get a prostitute. It's pathetic and I may be pathetic but not to that extent.

[ArtDent]

Every woman can get sex for free, not every man can.

[TokusatsuComicLover]

I've considered too and you are right that free sex is not free sex because guys have to do that work in order to get

[ajones35]

Lost my virginity to what would be considered a prostitute, she was a stripper who did "private shows" on the side. I was 26 in a seedy hotel in Hollywood. In hindsight it was not the wisest decision.

[WickedEyedLeo]

You have to be unbelievably desperate to get with a hooker. Hookers traditionally aren't clean people.

[frustratedchump06]

so are people that have one night stands at bars and clubs

[WickedEyedLeo]

True but who's worse dude? A hooker or somebody trying to get quick d*** of their d*** wet?

[WickedEyedLeo]

True but who's worse dude? A hooker or somebody trying to get quick d*** or their d*** wet

[worthless-virgin]

You don't understand how much it hurts.

[frustratedchump06]

yeah well I just want to get the monkey off my back already

[Chadeo4744]

Hi buddy would you like to Meet up secretly 1 nite stand for a front com to cook and big beautiful exploding with ur tastey. yummy jizz?

[Anonymous]

I hate people like you.

[Anonymous]

I'm 36 I've never been in a serious relationship at all. I was bullied a lot growing up from adolescence to high school. I have low self-esteem, I dislike my appearance and I don't think I deserve happiness in a relationship. At 36 I can honestly say that when it comes to relationships, marriage or kids my life is over concerning that. Furthermore I wouldn't want to have kids because they'd be like me and I could not deal with that.

I lost my virginity to a hooker/escort at 20 and have done so over 50 or 60 times since. I was even arrested once for being a John. I don't regret it at all. I mean I regret getting caught and I stay away from the county I was arrested in. I accept reality. If you have to do it because you're not one of the attractive people in the world then do what you have to do.

One of the posters here is right, it does say something like me--someone who would do something like this. But I accept who I am and that I will never be in a relationship with a woman because there is something wrong with me. So i'll continue to spend as much money as I need to to take the edge off my reality.

[Anonymous]

I don't there's anything seriously wrong with it. I'm a 23 year old virgin and I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind. I just remind myself that I'll be happier if I lose it to a woman who actually wants to have sex with me because she likes me. Hiring an escort may do well to clear up any sexual anxiety I might have, but that's it. I won't feel like I earned it. I'd no longer be a virgin but I'd still be an antisocial shut-in. It's quick, easy, painless, but will I have improved on myself as a man? Probably not. But that's just me.

Getting an escort could be just the thing someone else needs. Taking 15-30 minutes with a pro to get a quick intro into the world of sexual relations so you don't go into the dating game with so much sexual anxiety mucking up your thought processes. Again, I don't think it's a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Everyone wants to be with someone. Hiring a hooker is copping out. And when you finally do get a girlfriend... that's just one more skeleton in the closet. Virginity isn't that big of a deal.

As for sex not being free... let's see, if guys stopped expecting sex just because they took a girl out the movies... we might not make a guy jump through as many hoops.

Grow up, get some confidence, self-respect and trust me, the girls will come. My boyfriend is as broke as they come. I make a lot more money than he does.

[frustratedchump06]

honestly most girls will be turned off if I guy is still a virgin by a later than average age because they will think that if no other girl wanted to have sex with him then why should I? that's why girls tend to be very attracted to the guys that are taken as in have girlfriends more than the single ones, because the fact that a guy has a girlfriend in the girls eyes and perspective it makes him look pre approved

[frustratedchump06]

the right girl will come I hate it when people say that there is someone out there for everyone why should I believe that to be 100 percent accurate and true? any logic behind that as to how there is someone out there for literally everyone?

[Opinion Owner]

You might believe that girls are turned off by older virgin guys... well it depends on why they are a virgin. I knew a 26 year old male virgin. He's my best friend's boyfriend and I've never heard her complain or say it was bad. There is someone out there for everyone. You just have to keep looking... there's over 7 billion people on this plant. I don't believe in soulmates but there IS someone for everyone. But she's definitely not a supermodel.

[frustratedchump06]

well I don't know how to approach and talk to girls the right way so it's hopeless

[Opinion Owner]

Well, its a skill. And it takes time. Nobody gets it right on the first try.

[frustratedchump06]

Well most guys have had this skill since puberty

[Opinion Owner]

No, they definitely don't. Unless you've been around a bunch of players. I can guarantee you aren't the only one. Other guys just grow up and learn.

[frustratedchump06]

well these guys learn how to do it right away as in it does not take that long to gain "game" in order to get a girlfriend

[frustratedchump06]

How these guys learn how to get a girlfriend at an early age? Like teenage years?

[Opinion Owner]

That I don't know... never dated as a teen.

[frustratedchump06]

yeah but you probably did in early college

[Anonymous]

When you consider that about 90% of women will make sure their boyfriends/husbands are guys who are more successful, earn more money than them...

How is it any different from a girl selling it by the hour? Pretty much every woman wants a man who will provide for her.

[frustratedchump06]

and free sex is not free sex because the guy had to earn it

[Anonymous]

it's pretty gross for one...

[Anonymous]

I agree totally it's just societies view on the matter. Honestly no one anymore loses it to someone they love just someone at a party or someone they think is hot and figure why not. That's how I lost it, and my father before him and his before him. Heck I even got do it with a p*rn star who was way nicer then she needed to be, and taught me a lot about pleasing a woman. If you do decide to take that route just remember to get tested and use protection and you won't have to worry about VD.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read anything but the question, because I'm lazy:) But in my opinion, sex, especially a first time, is meant for two people that love each other. And most people, religious or not, agree with that. Therefore, by giving your virginty to a hooker, you're violating that.

[adamfk1]

the problem is women don't like guys who aren't good looking makes them (and me ) depressed and somewhat suicidal

[StopLookingAtMe]

Adamfk1, that's your problem right there: you base your entire self-worth on whether you've ever gotten laid. Nobody on the planet knows that you're a virgin, nor do they need to. And if you're afraid that you have to live with that fact, then you need re-assess that model of self-worth, because even if you do hire a prostitute, you might still find that you're lacking something. Take it from me, one virgin dude to another: you're being hard on yourself. If you feel depressed as a result, then you need to seek professional help. And there's nothing wrong with seeking help.