Guys help! girls too!! innocent boyfriend!?

[Anonymous]

For a while I thought my boyfriend of almost 2 years was playin me he has no game what's so ever. I tried everything but I really want a serious relationship ik we lost our virginity to each other I'm 21 and he's 22 ik I'm young but :l I mean I feel he treats me like a friend all the time and ik he's trying but I mean I want to flirt and for my man to match me on a mental level and he's not :l he's not even not he's just like dense. he will not call for 6 days and then hmu worried like are you okay!? I'm like you know if you want a break that's fine but don't disapear for that long and start worrying because you Haven't heard from me fone works both ways =.= he complains I call him too much then wen I stop he has a heart attack and well that's all besides the point. My boyfriend is dense my boyfriend has no game, swag, can't flirt, no nothing. it's like he's having an identity crisis right now idek =.= DUMPING IS not an option. ik he has to grow up I told him if he needs a break that's fine to call me wen he's got himself to gether he was like a break feels like breaking up I'm like it is except I won't date anyone else it's cool I'm about to get my own place anyways and he's like crying ._. he doesn't want me to go he just feels so confused he doesn't know who he is anymore =.= I don't get it he cries for space but doesn't want a break I can't emotionally extend myself to someone who wants space every single day. disapears for a week at a time you can't have your cake and eat it too =.= WHY IS HE SO UNSURE ABOUT EVERYTHING! btw he has no friends no one to talk to but me I tell him get friends man friends to relate too he says he doesn't want to pursue them. he wants friends but sucks at making them I encourage him he's a no go =.=

[jeremy20]

Ok, first off, you should thank the answer below me for translating your question. Your grammar and slang is something that should not have to be read.

You look down on your boyfriend so much. The first thing I noticed after reading your mess of a question is that you didn't mention one positive about your boyfriend. All you did is put him down, so it makes me wonder if you do this in real life.

So first off, if you just want a casual boyfriend, or someone who is a companion but not all too important to you, you need to straight up tell him that so he has an understanding of what you're looking for in a relationship. In other words, that would mean you're looking for someone to go out with, instead of come home to.

On the other hand, if you're looking for something serious, you're looking for the wrong things. If you're looking for a soulmate, or someone you see as a potential spouse, swag, game, flirting is not important. However, someone who loves you for you, who is successful, and who acts like a real man when its important is. "Swag" has nothing to do with it and at the end of the day doesn't pay the bills.

I don't think your boyfriend is having an identity crisis, I think he is having some issues in his life that even you don't know about. He's probably coming to terms with becoming an adult, which happens at about the age of 22-23. Its very well possible that he feels left behind because you're getting your own place. Does he still live with his parents?

Honestly, to get help with this question, you need to add more details in appropriate English, such as how long you've been together, has he ever had friends while together, have there been any changes other than the move, and what you see in him that is positive.

My best advice is to be supportive. Show him you care about him, and give it time for things to get better. If it doesn't, then you know what you have to do.

[Asker]

I don't mean to sound stupid I am texting from my phone anyway also I don't mean to put him down how was i? I think I am just frustrated he is very caring attentive loving reliable nurturing and sweet. He has been through a lot with me its just the constant space that lasts for days no contact but denying abreak or breaking up that confuses me. I was thinking it was due to his lack of male companions to bounce off of I don't knoe he hasn't had friends ever even before knowing me I'm his only friend

[Asker]

*Know... typo sheesh -.- also if it is a matter I am unaware of why isn't he confiding in me I mean I'm constantly encouraging him to I don't understand I am willing to correct myself but that's why I come here because I don't know what I'm doing wrong I know I'm Agressive at times rough around the edges but I have been through so much I'm trying to b delicate and so forth now for him I'm realizing maybe I'm being misunderstood as stuck up

[front2back]

Let me translate this into English for other users:

"My boyfriend is becoming very dull and is having anxiety issues. I want a serious relationship with him but he is in an odd state of mind. His social skills are lacking and he is having trouble explaining his feelings to me. I don't want to dump him even though he is acting irrationally. He wants his space but at the same time wants to be close to me. He treats me more as a friend than a lover and is not sure how he wants our relationship to continue on. What can I do to resolve this?"

I think your boyfriend is just having stress over how he wants the rest of his life to go. There isn't much you can do if you do not want to dump him. You can try to help calm him and relive the worrying but other than that you just have to wait for him to "get over it" or something.

[jeremy20]

Thank you for being educated!

[Asker]

:( sorry I'm not stupid I was texting this on my phone and was jumbled I couldn't express myself the way I wanted to but thanks I am trying my best to hang and there with him because I am afraid in all his indesicive

[Asker]

*indecisive ( idc I'm texting but ) ways that he ends up leaving in the end. Or if not leaving I don't know what I am afraid of I'm all for him getting his life together but wanting space every week and then disapearing days at a time I'm not sure but I think if you want to break up say so but when confronted he doesn't want to so I'm confused If it is a concern he is withholding why can't he just talk to me about it so I can respect his imbalanced view of space