Why does it seem like guys lose interest after you do something sexual with them?

Question

I have no dated at least two really nice guys... in all of those relationships I feel like they lost interest after we did something sexual... not like sex sex, but oral or fingering. I feel like with the most recent one I really tried to wait as long as possible... and yet, I still kind of feel like he lost interest. Idk, maybe not though. He used to text me all the time and text me back right away, now he takes his time just like the rest of the guys! and he hasn't asked me to hang out all the time like he did last week. Whatsup with that?

NickInVideo · Accepted Answer

Hey. So I'm a guy that doesn't fit into the category of you question. I am outside your sample.

Your sample is probably pretty small. How ever many guys you've done something sexual with + whatever accurate and inaccurate info you've got from friends and other sources. How does 50 guys sound? Just looking for an average number to quantify this stuff, and do some more examining of the sample.

Your personal sample of 2 is really small. Say you'd only seen two dogs, would you be able to accurately describe the attributes of all dogs? Being honest, no. However, people will try to do just that. It's an odd effect.

So, to answer to top question, it seems like guys lose interest after getting sexual because that's what you've experienced. You would also be equally valid in observing that the relationships you've been in ended. These are true, it's correlation, it doesn't necessarily mean that the first is the direct cause of the latter.

They're equivalent observations:

Escalated sexually -> End.

Begin relationship -> End.

Also,

Had conversations -> End.

Was born -> End.

Is there something to your observations? Yes, I think so. Would I use 2 dudes for a sample population to determine a gender-wide trend? No, I don't think that's fair. I'm not certain that you're looking for gender-wide trends anyway, but It's worth pointing out.

Who's not in your sample?

Openly gay men, could be dating guys who are in the closet, but that's not too likely. Possible, but not likely.

Old men, I assume.

Guys who are happily in relationships already, cheating wouldn't be in this category.

Guys who would rather do things other than date.

Guys who you have turned down, if you have.

I'm glad you're still reading.

Here's something that catches my mind, maybe yours too, since you're still relatively early into these relationships, the escalation of sexual exploration will be common or the norm, relationships could just as easily fizzle out after a quick peck on the first date, as they could after a long make-out session or the first or second sexual encounter.

It would be different if you'd been dating for 2 years and has sex or whatever for the first time, then the relationship ended the next day, that would be more causal.

That's kind of the crux of it, early on, there are many things going on in relationships that assuming it's just one thing that caused the decline is hard to prove. Which is why you're quite right in saying that it seems like it is the case, because it may not be.

If it's possible, self reporting would give you the best feedback from you sample. You might try asking those guys why what happened or didn't happen, happened. Self reporting isn't the best method, due to bias, memory, questionable honesty and lack of understanding. This could be a difficult subject to talk comfortably about.

It certainly is an interesting question. I'm not sure I have a clear answer to it. I hope this helped.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Most guys don't realize there doing this, our goal is to get in her pants. If we're not that into her we'll think about finding someone else. That causes us to seem more distant. I was really into this girl, you could say I loved her. But right after we had sex I lost all interest. Then she became so clingy and that's what ended it. Best thing to do is be the kinda girl he'll want to be with, make him breakfast or something lol. Oh and make awesome sandwiches. Wake him up by sucking his d***. The basics work best. Be a "bad girl" for him but a good girl for every one else.

PoeticNinja · Accepted Answer

Bad sex/Bad oral

No chemistry. (Since the guy only got as far as oral and just fingering. He may not feel any kind of connection/spark.

I mean, I have never experienced that but if it did I think my sex life would tumble, if it were repeatedly happening to me.

Then again, you don't want to spend too much time having sex. Keep it balanced..

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Something changes for guys when you start to get physical with them... and once you've had sex, then they really back off! Even if not 'back off', they change somehow. I don't know what it is but it's one of the biggest problems between men and women; just when we feel the closest to them, we find that they're halfway out the door. :(

supershygirl · Accepted Answer

Don't do anything sexual so early on, wait at least 1-3 months.

abundantlyrich · Answer

Sorry to tell you this... You were his one night stand.

Koldhearted · Answer

Because the sexual act is the prize, and once you have the prize, there's no need to continue, the challenge has been won.

You gotta make yourself the prize to be had.

How fast did you do something sexual with them?

Anonymous · Answer

That's because they just want sex.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know any guys like that really. I'd lose interest after sex only if the sex wasn't very good LOL.

Why does it seem like guys lose interest after you do something sexual with them?

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