How do I get my wife interested in foreplay again?

[WantsMore]

OK, I have asked a couple of questions similar to this in the past, but need to check in again for any new suggestions. I have been with my wife for 9 years, married for 7 of those, and have 2 children, aged 5 and 1. Since our first child was born, my wife has lost interest in foreplay and I feel like our sex life has become a series of 'quickies'. Our usual 'routine' is to kiss and touch for a few minutes, then she will either pull me on top of her or climb on top of me, to start penetrative sex. I am the sort of guy that enjoys intimacy, to kiss my wife all over, give her oral sex, and massage her, but she just isn't interested. I worry that if we are not having foreplay before intercourse, that I am unable to give her an orgasm and that the whole thing has turned into a vicious circle. What I want to know is if and how I can get her interested in this sort of intimate, connected sex life again?

[juneangel6390]

this is really odd to be honest. its usually the other way around... its usually the woman who really want foreplay, and the men don't they just wanna do it. I'm really not sure how to help seeing as women are known for really wanting the intimacy.

My only thought is that she just feels too tired and thinly stretched that she just doesn't have the time or energy for it to take that long. You know what I'm trying to say? Like if she takes care of a 5 and one year old all day(you didn't say if she had a real job too) cooks and cleans all day. I could imagine that she just may feel like... idk, like she just wants to get it over with. Maybe make a special day just for her. Idj what both of your job situations are, but if you can, take a day off work and give her the day off. You stay home and watch the kids and send her off to pamper herself all day(alone or with girl friends), Then when she comes home, plan a slumber party for the kids somewhere(if you can, if not, its to bed early lol) then spend the whole night treating her extra special. cook dinner, chick flick, wine. all the extras! :) then when it comes time for the hanky panky I would like to think that she would be 100% in the mood for all the pampering you will give her in bed! :D I know I would lol I want it just sitting here typing it lol

I hope this does work for you, and you can get the spark started again, she id lucky to have a guy that knows the power of intamacy :)

[bubblecat]

Maybe she is depressed and so she just wants to get it over with. Try giving her some dopamine and testosterone boosting foods like red meat, red wine and dark chocolate. I have a low sex drive myself (but not because of marriage and kids) and those were some of the things recommended to me.

[Anonymous]

surprise her...prepare the bedroom so she knows what´s up and can't escape :-)

tell her it is all about her and you want to please her...maybe she feels the same but feels unconfortable but won't talk about it as well?

[WantsMore]

Thank you. That is definitely a good recommendation.

[Opinion Owner]

let me know how it worked out. Id really love if a guy would do that for me. If he just takes his time and don't have to be sexual from the start, it can be a massage or whatever...everything which helps to get each others likes and dislikes to know again

[Anonymous]

"2 children, aged 5 and 1. Since our first child was born, my wife has lost interest in foreplay".

Just a guess: she might not want a third kid and not have full confidence in birth control.

But that's only a guess. If that's the case: vasectomy?

[Anonymous]

Sorry to say, but this is quite typical 'wife' behavior ... specially after the kids come along. It goes further downhill with time...

[kheserthorpe]

Is she hitting orgasms?

What do you want? Forget what you think she might enjoy, imagine she's your toy (for the moment). What do YOU want?

[lauramor]

well start by asking your wife what she likes and if her likes have changed. maybe she wants you to do other stuff and not just the things you think she likes or things you like. be open and try to communicate with her first.

[WantsMore]

Thanks Lauramor. I like the 'not just things you think she likes' as I don't think I had considered it from that angle. I guess I had just been thinking about previous experience and the 'usual' things I expect women would like. I have tried talking to her before, but probably not asking the right questions. I appreciate your advice.

[lauramor]

you are welcome, good luck!

[Anonymous]

tie her up and eat her p**** until he has multiple orgasms lol

[WantsMore]

I like it. I'll let you know how that went! Haha. :)

[Opinion Owner]

she* lol not he