Friends pushed me into giving head to this guy

I am a cheerleader of my college's football team. I have had a lot of fun and liked my colleagues but recently something strange happened. There is this guy in the team that I don't like. He acts tough and once made some rude joke about having sex with me. On his birthday we stayed to drink and party after the game and we were all pretty drunk. The girls said that I should give him a blowjob for his birthday but I said I didn't want to. I know they didn't want to hurt me or anything but they kinda kept pushing and laughing and eventually convinced me (I'm one of the only girls without boyfriend in a long time). Some other girls have done it before at some other guy's birthday, but they were more into the guy. While I was doing it, the guy didn't hurt me but he was not very respectful and started calling me "slut" and said "you've always wanted to suck my d***, didn't you" and stuff like that. I didn't mind that much at first, but now I feel like I lowered myself for a bastard who really didn't deserve it. Some of the girls know how I feel and apologized for convincing me. But it's not really their fault. We were all drunk and I said yes too easily. My friends want to help me get back at the guy to make me feel better but how? And would it really help?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I grew up in the Woodstock generation, so though I am older, sex was not as puritan a thing as many younger people now think it was then. But still, much of the sexual mores of today seem strange to many of us. Among them is the idea of giving a birthday blow job to someone you do not like. Your friends are not great friends to push you toward this, but ultimately you made the decision. They did not force you, the guy did not force you. And his remarks are probably things he learned from p*rn to think that girls want.

    Is he a bastard? I don't know. I only know you do not like him. Did you lower yourself? Unless you do this regularly (I don't think so) then yes, you lowered yourself. Not his fault. Your decision. (Further proof that alcohol can bring you lasting, unhappy consequences.)

    Regardless of what kind of guy he is, you made the decision, so you have nothing to "get back at him" for. Anything you would do along that line would not help you feel better. I might also make you look petty to others.

    Put it behind you and hopefully learn from it.

  • You've got to be kidding me. Your friends are a bunch of tarts.

    The only thing you can do is talk the the guy privately about it and tell him that you're not that kind of girl. And that you know that it was done in a party atmosphere. He will likely not be all macho when talking to you one on one as long as you portray a calm and collected attitude. After this conversation, stop talking about the incident altogether and especially to your friends. And all will be forgotten soon enough. But if you keep bringing it up to them, it will become something to discuss.

    The other thing you can do is date the guy, if you like him. And I'm guessing that if you sucked him off, you must be attracted to him. But have a talk with him first anyway and see how he handles the situation.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Getting back at him is not a good idea. You said it yourself, he didn't force you, he just wasn't as respectful as you would have liked. Ultimately, you have a free will, so you're the only one to blame for saying yes and going through with the blow job. People can blame peer pressure all they want but you still have the power to say no.

    I'm not trying to be rude or offend you in any way, I just don't see the point in "getting back at him" when you voluntarily gave a BJ to a douche bag. You knew he was a jerk and you still did it. It's not like he was being fake and trapped you into doing it, that was your choice. I don't think revenge would help.

    Just use it as a learning experience and move on. Be mature about it and accept that you did the wrong thing and don't make the same mistake twice. That's really all you can do.

  • Don't do anything to get back at him. You were all drunk so you're all equally to blame, you less so. Your friends are a**holes. Just let it go, try to forget about it, and don't let something like that happen again. If that guy makes more rude comments to you, tell him to leave you alone. If he doesn't, you can tell campus police that he's stalking you. Colleges are getting really good about stopping this kind of thing. Don't be afraid to go to them if the guy does decide to start harassing you.

  • Dont seek revenge, but either way I know something you could do. A friend told me she was giving a bj to a guy and gently bit into it. She said the guy cried

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 12
  • Is there a question to this? OR Am I being trolled?

  • I don't think it's easy to teach people like that a lesson and I highly doubt he can sympathize properly so getting back probably won't work there but in terms of making you feel better I would totally go for it. I would consider waiting for the next party. Then you and your friends need to take all the non-prick guys he hangs out with and just give them a good time in front of him. Take them out later for a blowjob if you want to go that far. When he complains remind him he had his chance and he wasn't upto par with the others. OK maybe that's a little cruel but your talking to a nerd

  • Haha. You're stupid.

    • lol yup!

  • Just because I have a drink and get pulled over for a DUI doesn't mean I am not responsible no one made me get in my car while over the limit and no one forced me to even drink. you are a grown ass women and you make your grown up decisions you gotta live and die by those that's what life is. Live your die you make decisions and you learn from them one way or another, yes alcohol impares judgement but no one forced you to do it only you can do that on your own. he may be a jerk but you let yourself fall into a position to do that. yes many many many people do things they later regret but we learn the most through things we do wrong take this as such and learn from it or you will be bound to keep making same mistakes

  • how is it the guys fault that your "friends" convinced you to suck his d***?

    1. YES its your friends fault, how could it not be? I mean seriously did you expect a male to say no to a blowjob? seriously?

    2. you were acting like a slut, yeh the guy probably went overboard with the smack dirty talk but you did agree to suck him off even though you had no interest in him.

    3. for god sake what is wrong with the word no? how the hell were you so impressionable that people could convince you to suck off a guy you don't like?

    im on the guys side here, it was his birthday and a girl came and said she would suck him off, he went along with it and now as per usual its HIS fault that she diddnt want to do it...

  • The guy is a loser. It seems like you learned a hard lesson...make your own choices not those of your friends. If you give oral to a guy he should return the favor. It should not be a one way street.

  • Getting "revenge" isn't going to help anything.

  • you don't find many college cheerleaders who are 25+ years old...

    • I am 25 and still in college. Not the only one of that age by the way. Don't get why it's that weird

  • Did you swallow?

  • were others watching?

  • Why should you 'get back at him'? If you feel bad about what you did, it's not his fault, lol. You were the one who gave someone you weren't even attracted to on any level a blowjob. No one forced you to...

  • revenge won't make you feel better, just tell him that if he tells soebody you will say he's pretty small.

  • By living your life to the fullest. Any "vengeance" scheme you have against this guy, will only wind up in deeper sh*t, especially jail, and or murder. If you've ever watched Investigation Discovery, they have a show called "scorned: love kills". I suggest just moving on, and living your life the way you want it.

    I'd also find some new friends, those girls don't sound very nice.

    Sorry about this douche bag, btw

  • You're a woman who did something sexual that she later regretted doing. Happens every day. It's not the guy's fault, though he sounds like a jerk. It's not your friends' fault.

    There is nothing to be done here except for you to come to terms with what you did.

  • dont get back at him, it wouldn't solve anything, why don't you just focus on not letting your friends push you into something

  • getting back at him won't make you feel better...

    you should make better choices and not give in to other girls wishes...

    make better choices next time & learn from your experience...

    as for the dude...he has seen a bit much p*rn & can't separate that from real life...although some girls really do enjoy being called sluts and getting slapped or choked...your situation doesn't seem like one of those tho...

    if you want to go to the lowest level you can just say he has a smelly baby dik