He skips showers for 2-3 days at a time. Sorry to be graphic but his bum smells so bad that the sheets stink in the spot he sits down, I can smell it on his fingers when he scratches himself.
His balls smell...his feet always reek no matter what, so bad you can smell them when you walk in the room, I don't think its normal, I think its a fungus(he doesn't think they smell that bad & says its from being on his feet at work)
He doesn't wash clothes too often and wears dirty clothes when he runs out of clean laundry.
He eats like a pig, & licks sauce off his plate.
He even wants sex when he hasn't showered, I can't even ket him touch my vagina if he hasn't washed his hands cause their likely germy.
He gets frustrated when I insist he showers or tell him about his habitats. He's 22, I shouldn't have to tell him these things.
He always says he's too tired to showet or that its not a big deal and thinks that I'm overreacting. He says I try to change him but I don't think I'm doing that by asking him to take better care of himself.
If he mentioned my hygene id be so embarrassed id fix the problem immediately
Its not a deal breaker & I'm not a clean freak, but it really bothers me. I've tried mentioning it jokingly, I've tried seriously talking to him about it, I've tried nagging...the only thing he's done is stop farting around me. I'm frustrated and its making him angry and frustrated with me. how can I help him...any advice?
Most Helpful Guy
That's possibly the most disgusting set of habits I've ever heard a woman put up with.
His teeth are definitely bleeding because he doesn't brush them enough: that's what's allowing the gingivitis to continue colonizing his mouth.
Dirty clothes, piggish eating habits, even smelly feet - all those can be overlooked. But sh*t-covered fingers and sheets? What a nightmare.
You are underreacting, if anything. Hygiene is a deal breaker for most, but if you just want your guy to fix is worst habits, you're going to have to put your foot down.
Nagging isn't going to fix this. If you are honestly bothered by this and he's getting frustrated by your insistence on basic standards of cleanliness, then you should really consider this as a serious clash of values in your relationship.
I think that it's worthless to try to force him to be clean if that hasn't happened already. There's other things you can try, like withholding sex (which partially you already have to do because you're so grossed out by his normal state), bringing in other people to bear on the situation, ask him to go to couple's counseling... but all of this will probably seem like more nagging to him. I don't think it will lower his frustration at all because it stems from the fact that you don't accept him at his regular levels of dirtiness, levels which he seems comfortable with.
You could possibly turn this around with a campaign of positive attitude. Give him crazy sex and other awesome attention immediately after he showers, and ignore him on days he hasn't showered, to the point of not sleeping in the same bed. He has to realize how much you ENJOY it when he's CLEAN and FRESH! Encourage him to take sensual baths with you. Make brushing and all sorts of hygiene habits a part of daily life, and if he resists, you have to move out (yeah, drastic, but if you've let this go on for over a year, you need to take drastic measures to reverse these bad habits you've been enabling. This should have been resolved by you guys much earlier).
As a last resort, you could try becoming even more disgusting than he is, like not shower or leave the house for two weeks - maybe he has limits and will finally realize what your issue is with him once you give him a taste of his own medicine.
What's much more likely, however, is that you'll realize that you are largely incompatible. This is a major factor in a relationship - it affects all physical aspects between you, and sometimes it makes living together unbearable. It's embarrassing around other people, too, I'm sure. You have to be willing and ready to walk away. Only then will your partner make lasting, beneficial changes, and only if he truly cares about you enough that he doesn't want to see you go. If you're not committed to walking, though, he'll continue walking all over you with those fungus-encrusted feet of his. Sick.
If he doesn't care, and you walk for good, then things work themselves out naturally.