Sexual Health
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Just screwed up and got a blowjob from a stripper. Should I tell my girlfriend of 5 years?

Just went to Vegas with my buddies to celebrate my friends 30th. We went to a Strip Club to celebrate the night of our arrival and we all got private dances. The stripper I was with was very attractive, and I am certain there was a mutual attraction. We had good conversation, and took a liking to each other. Not to mention there was a ton of alcohol involved. She gave me a very intimate lap dance, and next thing you know she was going down on me. She wanted to come back to my room but I declined. I screwed up, should I tell the love of my life?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Really? I'm sorry but how can you say your girlfriend is "the love of your life" yet you allowed some random stripper to go down on you? I mean, I realize everyone makes mistakes but come on, this isn't exactly a "mistake" when you knowingly allowed it and went through with it. Even with alcohol involved, that's still no excuse. I'm not trying to make you feel bad as I'm sure you already do since you're asking this question. I just don't understand people who cheat on someone they claim to love.

    Anyway, yes you should tell her. I think you should definitely do the mature thing and be 100% honest with her so she can decide how she feels and what she wants to do. I'm sure she will be very hurt but I'm sure she will respect the fact that you were honest and told her about it rather than not telling her. She deserves to know. If you love her as much as you say you do then you will do the right thing and let her know about this incident as soon as possible.

  • As long as you realize that what you did was COMPLETELY wrong and you'll never do it again, don't tell her. Save her some heartache. If you know that she's the one you want to end up with then don't tell her because it will make things different from now on.

    For example, my college roommate had been dating a guy for 3 years. One night when she fell asleep early, he asked if he could kiss me. I was totally shocked and asked him to leave. He text me the next day and said he had no idea what he was thinking and that he didn't mean it. I decided to tell her because I felt like I needed to. Well, bad decision. I told her and they broke up and never got back together. They had plans to get married in the future. I feel like if I wouldn't have told her, everything would be fine. I shoulda just took his apology and left it alone.

    • That was a kiss that didn't even happen though. This is a full on blow job. If you gave him a blowjob that night and he let you, you really think she shouldn't know about that?

    • Agreed, mostly. Telling her serves no point. They might as well just break up.

    • Thanks for agreeing. I'm just giving my opinion like everyone else. Everyone makes mistakes in life. Telling her would obviously cause more harm than good. To me it's almost more of a punishment for him to have to keep it to himself.

  • Why would you allow an intimate lap dance in the first place? I know you didn't ask for the blowjob, but it doesn't seem like you stopped her either.

    I think you need to let your girlfriend know. It's the right thing to do. Anything less would be shady and further deteriorate the trust, honesty, and integrity of your relationship. Be straight with her. She may forgive you, she may not, but hopefully you love her enough to tell her and let her decide what's best for her. It's likely that not doing so will eat you up inside anyway, and if she finds out later things will be worse.

Most Helpful Guys

  • It was a spur of the moment thing and you had the willpower and morality to leave it at that and notbring her back to your room so take some solace in that.

    As for telling the love of your life, I don't know. In all likelihood if you dropped it then it would never come back to haunt you other than in your mind as guilt and even telling your girlfriend might not change that. You also run the risk of ruining a relationship over something that was done to you, you didn't do anything to the stripper (unless you paid her for the blowjob of course)

    Its a tough situation and the only thing I can really say is decide what you're going to do soon. The longer you sit on it the worse it gets and the worse the outcome.

  • First of all, yes, you screwed up big time. As for what you should do, well that is complicated. Whatever you choose to do, be sure you are doing it because it is what you think she would want. If she is the type of person who would rather just keep problems out of sight and out of mind, don't tell her to assuage your guilty conscience, if she is the type of person who would want to be told of your infidelity, don't keep it secret to cover your ass. You should know her well enough to have an idea what she would want. Most women would want to be told, I suspect, but some people really do believe that ignorance is bliss. Do what you think she would want, and don't screw up again.

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What Girls & Guys Said

8 14

  • Just screwed up and got a blowjob from a stripper. Should I tell my girlfriend of 5 years?

    I don't do 'should' unless it involves harming children/animals. So what's suited for you to do depends on your desire:

    - if you desire honesty and/or loyalty in your relationship then it's suited to tell her

    - if you desire getting what you want then it's suited to not tell her

  • In the course of everyone's life, mistakes are made ... lots of them. You fix the mistakes you can fix, and you live with the ones you can't fix, and some you just let go.

    It is easy for everyone here to be pompous and self-righteous, and tell you to man up and tell your Girlfriend about it. Many of those who tell you to "confess" would not be able to do it themselves. My advice would be to man up with yourself and make a decision whether you Girlfriend is REALLY the one you want. If she is, you should move on with the relationship, forget the BJ and realize you are on thin ice with yourself.

  • Yes she needs to know especially coming from you. If you don't tell her and she hears it from someone else it will be worse and look like you were hiding it from her. Just tell her it got out of hand and that you are sorry and you won't let it happen again and nothing more happened.

    • Yeah, that will be about as beneficial a thing to do as stabbing himself in the hand with a bowie knife...

    • She still needs to know

  • Yes, you should. You cheated. If she breaks up, consider yourself lucky.

  • No, but how is she going to keep from finding out?

  • What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas...

  • WTH would you tell her? just enjoy the memories.

    no harm, no foul

  • What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

  • I think yes you should.. you are in 5th years so I'm sure that's wouldn't be problem for you..

  • yes you should. it's her right to know that. ask yourself the same question, if she did the same thing, would you want her to hide it.

  • yes, tell her, don't ve a douche

  • No don't tell her nothing good will come from it, just focus on being a better boyfriend.

  • Why tell her? I mean, what realistically, will that do?

    1. Clear your conscious.

    2. Initiate a screaming fight/breakup.

    3. If no breakup, she will never trust you again, and will do everything she can to keep you on a short leash, as well as probably doing some "revenge fling."

    After the fight, and the relationship is destroyed, you both will feel worse for having told her.

  • Do not tell her.

  • have you been tested for Syphilis yet?

  • I can't believe some of these guys commenting. You can't trust anyone these days. Yes, you should tell her. She deserves to know what happened. I'm sure if it was a girl asking this everyone would be calling her all sorts of names and telling her to fess up. How would you feel if some guy went down on your girlfriend? Isn't that something you'd want to know about? This is so messed up. If you love her, hopefully you also respect her enough to not hide this from her.

  • I would tell, how can you live with that for the rest of your life?

    Ugh poor woman

    Men are disgusting pigs

    • Nevermind that the majority of the people shaking their booty, giving blowjobs, and being hookers are women. :p Who's worse, the one receiving, or the one doing it for a living?

    • the one who cheated on their lover

  • what she doesn't know... is now plastered all over the internet

  • It makes no logical sense to tell her. Unless you are willing to lose her in order to keep you conscious clear you shouldn't tell her. Does she deserve to know? No. What she deserves is a guy she can trust. You clearly can not be trusted in that environment, so there is no excuse for you to put yourself in that kind of situation ever again. Don't tell her, but make she you never betray her like that again.

  • Apparently you didn't get the memo, if you have sex and you are drunk, that means you were raped. That's what feminists say, so it must be true. You are not at all responsible for the sexual decisions you make while under the influence because you can't give consent. You should have taken her back to your room and let her rape you some more.

    • Hey, we are a nation of equal protection under the law. If two people have sex, and one is drunk, it's rape. Women have proven that fact many times. Kudos to you for believing in the law! :D

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