Boyfriend said I am bad at giving head, what to do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 4 month just randomly told me last night during a video chat that I "suck at giving head." He laughed about it and said it doesn't matter, gave me a bunch of compliments and said he loves me very much. So I know he wasn't trying to hurt my feelings, but it still made me feel horrible because 1. Of course I want him to like it when I do I, and I always thought he did, but now I feel like maybe he never enjoyed it, and 2. I am SUPER overambitious, and it just hurts me in general when people imply I am bad at something. We are in a long distance relationship, and I will see him in few days, and now I am super self-conscious and afraid to give him a BJ because of what he said. Last night when he said it, I tried not to act offended, and I asked what I can do to make it better, but all he said was "Idk, I never gave one" and laughed. So I have no idea how to improve it, I honestly always was told I was good at it, so I don't know why he doesn't like it. I try to do things I found previously online, like sucking a bit on his balls, going up and down with my hand while sucking the top, etc. I can't go TOO deep as my gag reflex is horrible. I don't know what to do, I want to get better at it so he enjoys it more. What can I do? Please constructive answers only, I appreciate all feedback but don't be rude or say something ridiculous lol.

[Anonymous]

Sorry,but your boyfriend kind of sounds like a d*** even saying this to you.I love how someone can say you are terrible at something,YET they have NO constructive criticism in regards to it.It sounds completely immature.Imo,he is at fault for not at least trying to be helpful.Anyway,try using your tongue wiggling it around on his head at times while sucking it (sort of like a lollipop).Try and improve that gag reflex!I think guys like it when you can take a bit more in.I find that guys like it when you give head like its your last meal!Meaning,being really enthusiastic about it...not acting like you're actually doing...a JOB.(Not saying you're acting like that.) Lick his balls,suck on them.Watch some p*rn girl! Some girls can really give it!Make some sounds like you find it enjoyable.Vasilate between going slow and fast just to mix it up.Play with your boobs or something in the process,also...look at him every now and again to figure out if he finds it enjoyable.But overall...communication is key.Honestly,I would probably take some whip cream and put it on his d*** and go to town!I did that to a guy before...he liked the idea...good luck.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for BA!Let us know how it goes!

[mariafromabove1979]

ask him to find blowjob videos that he really likes and thinks are hot and try and mimic what the women in the vids are doing (with in reason, p*rn is a performance not reality so keep that in mind as well), try working on your gag reflex and see if you can deep throat, make sure to swallow his come and make sure its a wet blowjob (dont be afraid to get it messy but not too messy)

[bluexqueen]

Don't worry you can improve. Try jerking while licking and sucking his head. Fondling his balls together. Sucking one side of his d***. But ask him what he likes.

[tom-tom-traveler]

My wife was a virgin before we married, so she had no prior experience in blowing someone. So to help the situation along, after a few aborted attempts, I asked her if if she remembered what it was like when she was a little girl and would suck her thumb. She vaguely recalled, so I told her to do the same thing to the head of my penis and the remnants of my frenulum.

After only about a minute of her doing that I had to stop her before I flooded her mouth; it was THAT effective.

Your boyfriend may react differently, but it wouldn't hurt to try.

[hannibal214]

any guy who says that obviously doesn't want his Girlfriend to keep giving head. that's just a cruel statement. if I were you I tell him, fine, no more BJs.

btw, did he come in your mouth from the blow jobs? then they couldn't have been THAT bad lol

[Asker]

lol no I would just give him oral right before normal sex, he never came during the BJ because we would just switch to sex lol. but yeah it kinda hurt me that he said that in such a mean way :/

[hannibal214]

maybe that's what he meant, the BJs suck because he can't finish in your mouth? in any event, he sounds like a douche bag, esp if he expects you to keep blowing him. there were other, more subtle things he could have said, like, baby, can you try this?

[Tractorbeam]

I you "suck" at it,you could be doing it right.And he can't tell you what to do better.

It's like pizza;even when it's not perfect,it's still good.

The fact that you try to please,and even try to improve your technique,should win you extra points.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Practice, practice, practice. Work on the gag reflex.

[Anonymous]

If you don't have a problem giving head, then tell this inconsiderate tactless boyfriend of yours, that he needs to be more vocal - tell you what he wants and how he wants it. Otherwise you'll never know what gets him off.

If he is serious that he doesn't know - then he's never had a good blow job, so he has nothing to direct you towards. In which case, relax. You're still the best he's ever had.

[Anonymous]

Maybe try using a little teeth,not a lot.Try deep throating...

[Anonymous]

FWIW, most girls suck at giving head. The only way you can satisfy him is asking what he wants when you're doing it. If he doesn't know, the he is the one who has a problem.