So Saturday I really messed up... Long story but I met this guy on POF like 6 months ago and we chatted but never met because he was too secretive he wouldn't tell me his last name or anything really about him, even though he was super hot. I stopped talking to him and yeah.. so fast forward he messages me accidentally Weds and we just start talking he was still really secretive but I don't know he was hot and I let it go. He made some sexual comments I ignored it because he said he didn't want a relationship.. all I want is a relationship so I had no intent to have sex with someone I wasn't dating. Anyways he was being weird so I asked jokingly "do you have some secret girlfriend or something?!" and he eventually came out and said he had a girlfriend for 3 years.. I was PISSED because I was hopeful that I could date him and he was so hot and a military man. We fought and I was like "whatever I'm done talking to you" and he said the same and I thought it was over then he messaged me and asked me if we can just hang out as friends. I actually had no issue with trying to be friends so we hung out Saturday night and he was just being a douche so I was gonna leave but then he was like just follow me home if you want.. I am dumb and I did. Even then it wasn't sexual, he taught me how to disassemble a pistol. Anyways long story short one thing led to another and we had sex. Unprotected sex... He looked like he felt bad after and I felt bad but then we did it again a few min later. He said he hasn't ever cheated and I actually believe him. So Sunday I got plan b because I missed because pills this week and he was freaking out about that. We talked and he wants to do it again kind of, we both feel guilty but liked the sex. I just don't know what happens now? Do I talk to him, or just let it pass? I feel awful for the girlfriend even though after 3 years together I doubt she would leave him and he is gonna marry her and start a family so to me she wins.. I am still relationshipless :(. I just feel bad, like a bad person and sad because I want to be a girlfriend so much and I compromised what I wanted and felt and now who will want me. I just am so confused.
He isn't married, it is his 3 year girlfriend that he intends to eventually marry and have a family with
Madhatters4 you have me blocked so I will respond here :) I am confused. I don't think I will do it again because I feel awful it is just that I can't even find someone to date. It felt good to have someone who has someone want me.. It made me feel irresistible or something (stupid I know) I just don't know, I want a boyfriend so much and this girl is so lucky to have him he makes a ton of money and is a vet and attractive and I don't know she seems smart too, I want someone like him to want me too.
Is it bad that I am kind of bummed that he doesn't talk to me anymore? He told me to tell him when I get my period... That is pretty much the last thing I said to him