My boyfriend and his friend have been trading intimate videos of me and his friends girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating about a year now and we have a good sexual relationship. Recently I have been letting him videotape some of our sex for him to watch when I am not home and he is in the mood, I agreed to it because I would rather him watch our sex videos instead of watching p*rn. Lately he has been taking a lot of close-up videos with his cell phone of him finishing on my nude body and even in my mouth and face. I just kept letting him do it because I felt like this is what he liked to watch. Well yesterday my boyfriend was taking a shower and left his phone on the bed where I was laying when he got a text message, I wasn't trying to be nosy but I did happen to see it was a video message so I grabbed his phone and look at the video, the video was of his friend getting a blowjob from his girlfriend and it showed him finishing on her face. I was shocked and at first I thought maybe he sent it to the wrong phone number. I closed out the video and scrolled through his text messages that were sent from his friend and found 11 more videos and I realize half of the videos were of me and my boyfriend . My boyfriend and his friend have been trading videos of us girls giving them blowjobs and finishing in our mouths and on our faces, one of the videos my boyfriend sent was of him finishing on my naked body after I gave him a blow job. Immediately when my boyfriend got out of the shower I confronted him about this his face turned blood red and he immediately started to apologize. I was so mad at him I did not talk to him for the rest of the day when I finally did talk to him I asked him why he would do that. He told me that him and his friend bet each other that their girlfriend could give the best blowjobs and they said they would record it and trade with each other, he said it was only supposed to be one time but then his friend kept sending him videos so he kept sending ones of me back. Right now my boyfriend is sleeping in the other room until I can forgive him, do I need to tell his friends girlfriend that they have been doing this I don't really know her that well but I feel that she has the right to know? I love my boyfriend but right now I'm considering breaking up with him until I can trust him. Does anyone have any advice for me on whether or not to tell the other girl ?

[UnderDriven]

So half of the videos your boyfriend *received* from his friend were of you and your boyfriend? Why would your boyfriend receive those videos from the guy he sent them to? Is there a chance your boyfriend's friend is sending these videos out to a larger audience and your boyfriend is just one person on the list? You may want to make sure just how many people are receiving these videos...

I believe the other girl should be informed. She may be in the same position you are. This behavior is clearly a violation of personal privacy, and shows a disrespect for you and this other girl (assuming she doesn't know about it). If it's just these two guys it's bad enough, but if there are more people involved it is even worse...

I agree with Proxity that this is very boyish behavior, and not something done by mature adults (yes there are adults who have a more 'open' form of sexuality and the girls might be okay with it, but you don't do things like this behind your girlfriend's back). I suppose you have to decide whether your boyfriend intends to grow up anytime soon...

[Proxity]

These are still "boys," not "men." At least their behavior is boy-ish.

MEN are much more protective about the personal activities they with their significant other. Men want their lover for themselves by every definition and would not even think of sharing with their potential arch-nemesis: Other men.

BOYS are much more flexible (and not always in a good way). When they get a lover to do something, their ego goes up, up, up, and away... it makes them so proud of themselves that they often show off to other boys to tell them how manly* they are or that what they have is better, often disregarding the potential harm they cause to their lover. Life is still more like a single-player game than it is a co-operative one.

That's not to say that a grown man can't have a childish moment. So please talk this over with your boyfriend and let him know that your feelings matter and that secrets like those can cause trust issues and ultimately destroy a relationship.

*the paradox of wanting to grow up, but also not wanting to.

[bunny_luv]

that's pretty bad what he did and I don't blame you for needing time to decide whether you want to be with him or not. that's the ultimate betrayal with him sneak sending videos of what he's doing with/to you. with respect to his girlfriend I wonder too if she knows what her boyfriends doing as well. both those guys should be ashamed of themselves for doing that and most importantly to reduce both of their girlfriends like that doesn't say much at all. take you time on this one.

[KJT6989]

Oh hell naw. I'd kick his ass out and call his friend's girlfriend and tell her what these little boys have been up too.

[imonfire]

FIRST. Watch him Delete every single video. SECOND. Call the other girl and MAKE SURE SHE DOES THE SAME. THIRD. Break up with this immature, lying idiot. It'll be better for both of you in the end.

[KrisPW]

Not cool. They're obviously close and living out a fantasy between you two girls videos. You'll need to be prepared to walk away if you can't reconcile this one way or another.

[madhatters4]

i would tell the girl. she has a right to know... but the better question is. if she knew and you didn't would you want her to tell you? I would absoltuely tell the girl

i think this is a serious violation of trust. I wouldn't blame you for a second if you broke up with him... it's just disgusting what he's done. he took a private moment and made it public, not only that be he made a bet about you and essentially exploited you... I mean that's the nuts and bolts. just really disrespectful.

I've videotaped myself with gf's and would never EVER have shown the tape to someone else. heck once I left the tape in a back pack in a friends apartment and drove 2 1/2 hours a 2am (after getting home from his place) immediately to retrieve it...

[Bob5555]

Guys actually do this more than you would probably believe. Doesn't make it any less wrong though. It shows a complete lack of respect for you. You can't really love someone you don't respect. I'd move on if I were you. He's not ready for a real relationship.

[Bob5555]

And yes. Definitely tell the other girl about it too.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Welcome to the risk of sending a boy a picture of your naked body. You should completely tell the friend's girlfriend.

I think you're a fool if you consider taking him back.

[G_GTom]

I have mixed feelings about this. My initial reaction is that it's wrong, but women share so much personal information about men, that this seems right along those lines. One is just visual while the other is verbal.

[FriendlyGiant1]

2 possible avenues for you to pursue...one legal and one illegal (and therefore not recommended)...

Legal-Call the police and immediately file a criminal report against this dude. There are laws already on the books in virtually every state that make what he did a felony.

Illegal-which not recommended, but understandable if you feel this way... I'd kill him.

This is a violation of trust and privacy that is completely and utterly unforgivable.

At a minimum, I'd dump that piece of Shit!

Immediately!

So sorry to hear that this has happened to you...no one deserves to mistreated in this manner.

[Caliguy88]

That’s not cool. Some people like to show off their partners. I had a buddy that would have his wife get naked in front of me when she was all drunk. And she was all about it... she’s a perv for sure... he liked showing her off. That’s not ok to me... I didn’t mind seeing her naked. She wanted him to have sex with her in front of me. He never did and I probably would not want to see that... but as far as my girlfriend goes... that’s for me... but he loved showing her off when she get drunk and frisky.

[SaltandVinegar]

Well its up to you. Tell him he can't record you anymore if he wants you to stick around.

[Anonymous]

Break up with this guy. He broke your trust. Don't be stupid enough to take him back.

[Anonymous]

So were you better or was the other girl?

[Anonymous]

he should break up with you because you're not trustworthy.

every guy needs some variety. a guy could be with mila kunis and if a normal everyday 6-7 offered him sex, he would do it.

it is nature telling us to be with as many females as possible. you're lucky that he isn't out getting some strange.

be happy that he has been unbelievably honest with you and stop going through his stuff.

[ghiwa]

Wait ? So she is the one whos not trustworthy. Neglecting the fact that she trusted him and let him film her giving bjs and naked. Who knows how many guys her boyfriend's friend has shared her videos with . She should be the one who is wiling to end their relationship not him.

[Anon1999]

Um, she's not trustworthy? I believe he was the one to violate her trust most the time the only people who have a problem with someone going through their stuff is someone with something to hide.

[Opinion Owner]

she illegally searched his phone records. that is the root of their issue. so you would have no problem with me going through your phone & internet records? or do you have something to hide? if she didn't want to have anything like this happen, she shouldn't have done an audition tape. if she wants to have a great relationship, she should be confident in herself and own it. she should get the other couple to have fun together. switch it up and let each other have something new

[Anon1999]

Wow, I bet you blame other people for your actions too. If I am in a relationship with a woman I have absolutely nothing to hide and she wants to check my phone, email or whatever go right ahead I have absolutely nothing to hide aka that makes it where she can trust me because I show her that I can be trusted. He broke her trust and HE broke the law by distributing that to someone without her consent. You have to get a waiver signed just to use someones image in a photograph so yeah he's wrong.