Advice for first time sex! Firs attempt failed

[Anonymous]

okay so I'm a virgin and this weekend my girlfriend came over and we started in on the usual making out and feeling one another up etc. things started getting way more heated and we were litterally just about to have sex then BAM! out of nowhere I get hit will 100 different feelings of anxiety and pressure and what ifs and before you knew it my d*** decided it was time to retreat. I never thought this would happen to me. I was really embarrassed so I lied and said I was just worried about getting her pregnant (even though she's on birth control) and so we just kept making out instead, we had a few more times that night where we would get close but those nerves would set in again right as we were about to have sex. thoughts of being inadequet, or not being able to get it in, being to quick or not big enough, long enough or just not pleasing her, whether or not she has had sex before. All those things would run through my mind. I really want to have sex with her and I can't if I cannot get IT UP! any advice would be great

[Ingrid422]

You know what would make it better? If she actually knew you're a virgin. When I lost my virginity, I lost it to my boyfriend, who was a virgin too. We were both pretty focussed on ourselves, so there's not that much to do in such a situation to make the other freak out less. If your boyfriend has had sex before, I'm sure she'll do her best to ease things up for you and make you relax. Right now you're freaking out cause you're afraid you won't be good enough at it. You're missing the point. Making love with your SO isn't about performance, at least NOT for the first time! It's about getting closer and building intimacy. There's nothing to compare this to. New guy, new thing, IMO. Next time if you feel like your nerves are getting the best of you, stop yourself a second. Look at her and tell her that you take this seriously, you've never done this before and you're a bit anxious. I'm sure she'll know know just the right things to say and that she'll you feel more comfortable in no time. It's not a race anyway, it'll happen when you feel ready. Right now, I'm not sure you're ready yet. Just wait till you crave her body so bad you can't help but go for it without even thinking. It might not happen tomorrow but once it doesn, I'm sure you won't have any trouble keeping it up. No worries, it's not a race!

[TheoryOfAvarice]

Confess your thoughts to her. More than likely she'll be able to reassure you and help you work through it.

Do what you can to relax. You're over-thinking things... and even if your first time isn't perfect, so what? It gets easier and smoother the more you do it, it just takes a bit of practice and getting used to each others' bodies. The first step into something is usually the most difficult part about it... get past that and you should be just fine.

[ctr4life]

Clear your mind, I know it's hard to especially in this situation.. Just think about those things before or talk to her about your concerns.. Or find someone else who will listen that you won't be embarrassed to tell these things to...

[ABH-french]

Don't worry, the first time is always... a first time, so it's not easy.

Insist on foreplay.

[Prettygirl27]

Nothing to worry about first if a woman gives you head it will make your penis bigger and more harder, and if you give her oral then you have to do her what you don't know you learn your being taught watch a p*rn movie that teach you. have sex with the light on do doggy style just think about her and just focus on pleasing her I promise you would stay up