Girls who sleep around a lot, why is this?

[Anonymous]

For the girls who sleep around a lot and are banging a different guy every month, why do you do this? Some of the girls who sleep around who I know were sexually molested or raped, some had their dads abandon them at a young age, some have really low self esteem, and some just seem to be total pervs who love sex! So for girls with lots of sexual partners, why do you think you do it?

[ryanontario]

I don't know but I find girls who sleep around or seem to have a hard time finding one specific guy in there lives can sort of be the type of person who wants to be in a serious relationship but at same time can't seem to commit to a serious relationship and might even reject a guy trying to get into one with them and continue to meet a bunch of random guys instead of the guy that really likes them . these girls are bad news if your looking for something serious , great if you just want a fun night out . I'm not a girl so can't fully explain why they'd do things like this but these girls do have commitment issues and well they want to be with a guy and serious with him they at same time don't want to be in a real relationship

[Theguyoverthere]

You shouldn't assume negative things on women just because they have sex with different guys.

A woman can have 100 partners and not have gotten a single STD and I'd not have the slightest thought that there was "something wrong" here. I'd appreciate the fact that she wasn't like all the other uptight girls who judge other girls who do have sex. Many girls can simply want to enjoy single life as it happens. If guys can do it, so can girls. There's nothing wrong with loving sex at all.

[05Jueey]

I agree. Being comfortable with your sexuality and sex is normal and healthy

[Anonymous]

I have a good dad, and I've never been raped/molested. I rarely meet someone I want to be in a relationship with, but I don't have a problem committing if it's with the right person. I just don't get into a relationship simply for the sake of being in one. While I'm single, sex with attractive guys is available though... so why wouldn't I? I'm safe, and it beats being single and not having sex. Still, many partners doesn't always equal having more sex. I have more sex in a relationship because it's like an everyday thing; when single, I don't go out often enough to top that. Friends with benefits works sometimes, but if you stay too long someone always catches feelings and it gets messy. Result: many partners.

[Asker]

How many?

[MaskofInsanity]

Amusing how you assume a woman has to be emotionally damaged to be promiscuous...

I'm young, I'm in college and I travel a lot. I've met a lot of amazing people and if I have chemistry with them, why wouldn't I want to take that to the next level and sleep with them? Sex is a fun, wonderful thing and no, I don't think you have to be in a relationship to engage in it. I'm not ready for a relationship, but I am happy to enjoy someone's company in a casual sense. I'm safe and responsible, and I've had mutual respect for all my sexual partners.

Not everyone has the same approach to sex, and that's fine, but it's incredibly condescending for you to assume something has to be "wrong" to behave this way.

[Asker]

Maybe it depends on how much you mean by sleeping around. I am meaning at least ten or so new guys a year.

[MaskofInsanity]

Hmm well I'm not quite that impressive, but even if I were - I don't see anything 'wrong' with it.

[Asker]

How many have you been with?

[MaskofInsanity]

That is none of your business :)

[Asker]

That is interesting. I am the bad guy for bringing up a topic like this and nothing is wrong with sleeping with lots of guys, but you don't want to say how many. Will you tell your future serious boyfriends or husband the number?

[MaskofInsanity]

I didn't say you're the bad guy. No, I don't think I would tell a partner my number, nor would I ask him. I'd tell him I've had casual sex and explain my attitude towards sex - if he doesn't like that, then we probably aren't compatible anyway.

[Asker]

Why is that though? I think you know a lot of guys will have problems with a huge number, but why not be up front and honest if sex is no big deal with lots of casual partners? If they have a prob then it wouldn't work out anyway, right?

[05Jueey]

I completely support you girl Some girls don't want to tell you their number because you will just judge them unfairly

[Asker]

But if nothing is wrong with having a high number, why would you care if someone judges you?

[05Jueey]

Because most people in the world don't prefer to be shamed

[Asker]

But how can you be shamed if you see nothing wrong in the act?

[MaskofInsanity]

Some guys will be intimidated by my number, others won't. I won't discuss it just because I don't think it should matter. It doesn't change who I am. I'm not ashamed of it, I just think it's irrelevant...

[05Jueey]

QA: You can EASILY be shamed by anyone. Shaming happens from third parties. Do you understand that?

[Asker]

So this is really an admission from both of you that there is something wrong with it, or else you wouldn't care. If I didn't view something as wrong, I wouldn't care who knew!

[05Jueey]

So because I believe that racism is wrong I shouldn't care that others don't agree? Nice logic... Lol

[Asker]

No, that was pretty stupid on your part to jump to that. A better example would be if you have zero problem with interracial dating, but because other people do you won't admit that you are dating another race even though you have no reason to be ashamed of it

[05Jueey]

I wouldn't say I'm the stupid one in this case to be honest

[Asker]

Your example sure was

[05Jueey]

Nope. I'm passionate about defending sexual behavior when its safe

[Asker]

Your racism comparison was absolutely moronic and you had no response when I explained what the correct one would be

[05Jueey]

Sorry, but you aren't "correct." You simple cannot grasp the point, which is sad

[05Jueey]

simply*

[Asker]

This convo will be running through your head when you are 30 and can't find a husband

[Anonymous]

Well, when first started becoming sexually active. I was curious to how different guys were in bed. So I had 5 different sex partners during one summer. I also wanted to see what I was into and no I wasn't sexually molested or rape. I think most girls that do that is 1) they're curious, 2) sex doesn't feel right, they don't feel connected so they try different guys, 3) why can guys have sex with different girls all the time and don't look down upon when if girls do that they get judged? Girls are just as horny as guys are.

[dx021]

lol so jump on different dicks til you land on right one?

[jaack]

=____=" Maybe she just loves sex, pff. Would you ask a male player if he had been molested by his parents when he was a child ? Double standards, eh.

[Asker]

All the girls I personally know who sleep around a lot do have some sort of daddy issues or past abuse. Girls aren't really wired the same way when they are young to want to just sleep with everything that moves like how boys are. Yes, there are double standards just like there are double standards for a man hitting a woman vs vice versa or a woman school teacher banging her male students. The real world exists and the genders are not the same so double standards exist

[dx021]

the QA hit the nail on the head. why is the idea that men & women are so different so hard to grasp. I've never met a girl that was emotionally healthy that slept around alot.

[jaack]

You didn't meet the right girls then, not all are the same you know. And double standards only exist because we perpetuate them, such as.. I don't know.. People thinking that girls sleep around because they have issues. The real answer lies in those DS : men are encouraged to sleep around, not girls. Some of them don't, some of them do. Some of them do because they like it, others not. That's all. But just because you met some girls that have issues doesn't mean it's the standard.

[Asker]

So then it is wrong to hold men who hit women to a different standard than men who hit other women because we are all the same? It is wrong to hold women teachers who bang the high school boys to a different standard than the men who sleep with 15 year old boys? You really think both situations are the same?

[05Jueey]

Sex feels good and I'm comfortable with my sexuality :) Simple

[05Jueey]

None of your results are accurate for me

[Asker]

How many have you been with?

[05Jueey]

10 so far

[Asker]

Do you tell your boyfriends this? Or plan on telling your husband?

[05Jueey]

Yep my boyfriend knows and has no problem with It obviously. I was single

[Asker]

Then you aren't ashamed of it. Boyfriends are one thing, but you girls know deep down most guys don't want to marry a girl who has been with dozens of guys. We just don't

[05Jueey]

I'm not too concerned with what your judgmental standards

[05Jueey]

I wouldn't marry a guy like you anyway

[Asker]

Then there is no reason to hide it from anyone! And sorry, but lots and lots of guys think the same way about marrying a girl who has banged dozens of guys. They usually end up being dramatic, crazy, and sleeping around after marriage too

[05Jueey]

haha you have no idea what you are talking about. These are you ridiculous assumptions. You look really silly... I love sex but I would never cheat on my significant other. There is a stigma against having sex with multiple people which makes some people feel ashamed and embarrassed for it, not because it's wrong, because society says its wrong. I'm sure you are able to grasp it at this point, aren't you? Dont say sorry to me lol. I like a guy who can think on his own

[05Jueey]

If a guy wouldn't want to marry based on how many people I've had sex with than he isn't the guy for me ;) understand? Marriage is way more important than that for me. To each their own ;)

[Asker]

I wasn't apologizing to you, but just breaking the cold hard reality to you. If you don't think it matters then I guess you will find out soon enough

[05Jueey]

LOL

[Asker]

We will see who is laughing last

[Anonymous]

How dare a woman enjoy sex. There must be something wrong with her. Only damaged women like different men. Good decent women only want to have sex with one man every 5 years.

[05Jueey]

You deserve best answer

[Asker]

Yup, that is exactly what I said!

[Anonymous]

What's with these guys who hate sexual women? Actually there needs to be more of them out there . I like a woman who's actually honest about her sex drive.

[Theguyoverthere]

These are the guys who cause women to hide their sexual side and mess up potential relationships when the guy tries to simply take things further in a relationship and she gets that "I'm not a whore" complex.

[Anonymous]

Philosophically, this is part of our search for meaning in an alienating world, as human beings...

[Anonymous]

Are you suggesting the reasons might be different for females than they are for males? Why?